I'm an opportunity ( Read more... )

still working at job. looking for a second one. bme bbq is still on. although i'm unsure about suspending. and probably will be until i see one done. i'm not moving until june. and that's when aloma is coming up. 3 months seems so fucking far away. hopefully it passes quickly. there's so much to do. to take care of. and so fucking much money to ( Read more... )

welp. bme bbq is in may. first suspension here i come. aloma is coming up...going to the bbq with me i think...and then i'm moving back to oregon (2nd week in may-so visit me...party with me...have a drink with me. something. cuz i aint coming back suckas.) i got a jobby job. although as it's looking i'll only be there for 2 months. but that's ok. ( Read more... )

this is so not fucking go. no money. bah. since i spent it all going to fl to pick up some fucking psycho. who thinks i have an allergy to caffiene. cuz i freaked. (insert fact here) since he sliced his fucking arm up and was bleeding all over the place. bah. idiot.

so i've been looking for a new job. sent my resume out to about 15 companies. ( Read more... )

it's funny how it works that way. if you stop using your brain for usefull thoughts, it just seems to never want to work. school is helping. i suppose. i like my classes. yadda yadda. we'll see how everything pans out.

i'm trying to fix my other comp. it hates me. i think it may be possessed. i watched a movie today that some killer's soul was ( Read more... )

so i was thinking...that the reason i missed you so much was because you were the only comfort i've known in so long. but i guess that's ok. everyone has lapses in this kinda shit ( Read more... )

there's so many things that i could never speak of again. not to you. not to her. or to any of them. i'm left here alone listening to your voice on winamp. remembering seeing you on that stage and how it turned me on so much to see you up there. i want to watch the sun rise in bed. and cook breakfast in the afternoon. i want the cold nights... ( Read more... )

someone, anyone, explain when it actually gets better. they keep saying it will. after 21 years i'm a little fucking pessimistic. the lonliness. never being understood. the unhappiness. uneasiness. do you know what it's like to wake up and realize that nothing is what it seemed? that you're friends are all fake. your life is a lie. all drawn up to ( Read more... )

seriously. can't i just go one year without getting bronchitis. i doubt it. blah. i guess i'll have to start saying the mantra again. "i will not cough up my lung tonight" ha. i'm bored. as with every other night. these tend to be such lonely times. although i don't mind it much. it's raining. almost comforting. not quite though. i like the ( Read more... )

argh. i need to find more things to occupy my time. i'm going to start going to school in jan i think. just part time. take a few classes. and a bartending course. maybe yoga. and join a gym. i'm starting to get restless. i already have 3 jobs. and a pt party schedule. what more could i need? oh yeah and my best friend wally...who's probably the ( Read more... )