Sometimes I wonder how much easier it would be if I was one of those toolbag dudebros who drank their problems away and fucked girls and then left them. I wonder what it's like to not feel anything.
The pressure, ah, the pressure. It's a fucked up love/hate relationship between how much I like to be social (despite my appearance to the contrary) and how much being around obnoxious drunks unnerves me. And yeah, I do wonder, too, sometimes, am I the one who's missing out? It's not uncommon for me, I'm typically the last to know anything, but is there a magical spot that can only be found at the bottom of a bottle? I haven't been drunk since I was 5, and (surprise!) I don't remember a thing of it. I suppose it will get gradually easier for me as I get older, and see even more fucked-up shit that people do when they're drunk and don't feel anything, but yeah, sometimes it's a weird struggle, like you said, to wonder what it's like to not feel anything.
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sorry!
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