i am exhausted, drained, done. i am always the responsible one, i hate it. i want to live with no regrets and be free, be spontaneous. i hate making all the plans for every single thing that i and my friends do. i make all the arrangements, i do everything. i want things to be stressfree and have someone else take control for once. but no one will ( Read more... )

i have 2 options. both i consider myself being selfish. i want to cry. every word or thought that comes to me makes me upset and want to cry. life is so hard when u r a 19 year old girl. especially one that is leaving the country for 2 months. either deicision i will be teribbly upset, if not now then later. what do i want to do. do i want to ( Read more... )

i seem slow. kinda depressed, but i hate using that word. i'm kinda bothersome. very irritable. everyone is getting on my nerves. school ends in 4 weeks. all my projects are due in 3. havent started any of them. i'm totally stressed about my projects, about this summer. i'm stressed about trying to find a place to live for next year before i move ( Read more... )

i just ate this huge ice cream from cold stone just for comfort food for someone else.
that ice cream just put me back on everything i did today. but it was delicious, but regretful.
awesome.

my heart keeps pounding, my mind keeps racing ( Read more... )

It is really hard to not think about a person that you care so much about. I mean, you can really try, and really try to keep yourself occupied, but everything you do relates back to that person. I just sat and weaved yarn for about an hour, and I went to walmart to just walk around today, and I took a half hour shower, and I stayed extra long in ( Read more... )

I can't believe I will have a sister-in-law.

This is wierd.

I want to be in the wedding.

matt will be arriving in less than 12 hours..oh man I am totally excieted!

...and today i bought a plane ticket to ROMA for a full 2 months...i think i might kill myself from matt withdrawl.

So life has been really boring. Last weekend I went home. I really wanted to go out. Friday my parents weren't home and matt came over and it was romantic. Then the following night i wanted to go out, but matt was ill; i took care of him. I became deathly ill. I even made a doctors appointment for when I was home thats how shitty i felt. I had ( Read more... )

me and matt= 1000 days today. I love him ( Read more... )