A personal guide to writing NejiHina
Aaaah, the newest annex to my NejiHina fandom essay.
NejiHina used to have very few written works, but they were good ones.
Then we had a lot of badly-written ones, and just about no well-written ones.
Now we have very few written works, and for the most part they're badly-written.
There's really not much that can be done. At the very least, the NejiHina fandom has had glorious moments in the past, so I won't complain too much.
Instead, I've written this fanfic writing recommendation guide. Who knows? Maybe it will be of some help. Some of these tips apply to fanfiction in general, but I focus specifically on the case of NejiHina. Other fandoms have their own particularities.
I welcome any additional suggestions! :D
A. The list of don'ts
B. The hard part
0. Preparation and highlight
I. Impact of concept
II. Depth of characterization
III. Execution of story
IV. Beauty of descriptions
C. Conclusion, the hardest part: putting it all into execution
Table of content
A. The list of don'ts
1. The basics
2. The characters
3. The original characters
4. Relationships
5. World, context, plot, themes
6. Descriptions
B. The hard part
0. Preparation and highlight
I. Impact of concept
1. Plot concept
2. Abstract concepts
3. Objects
II. Depth of characterization
1. Neji and Hinata
2. The Hyuugas
3. The other Konoha shinobi
4. Original characters
5. Triangles
6. The world beyond
7. Ending notes on this section
III. Execution of story
1. In-depth vs Parallel exploration
2. Long stories, one-shots, drabbles
3. Know when to develop
4. Know when to skip it
5. Points of views
6. Long fics: overall planning method
IV. Beauty of descriptions
1. Show vs tell
2. Focus on a theme or object
3. Descriptions Must serve a purpose
4. Use the unsaid
5. Pace
6. Humor
C. Conclusion, the hardest part: putting it all into execution
A personal guide to writing NejiHina
A. The list of don'ts
I'll keep this brief, yes? I'm pretty sure it's all self-explanatory. Print it out, or something. That said, I find it kind of sad that this is needed at all.
1. The basics:
- don't neglect your spelling. Don't use internet slang talk ("you" is not spelled "u"). Do use spelling check.
- don't neglect your grammar. Don't mix up "your" and "you're" , "then" and "than" and other common mistakes. And it's "would have", not "would of." If English isn't your native language, do ask for help.
- don't mix up your verb tenses. Stick to either present or past tense unless for remembering past events.
- don't use huge blocks of illegible text of over a dozen lines. I know some of your are dyslexic, but please use the "enter" key.
- don't forget your punctuation.
- don't,,,,, abuse?!?!!? your punctuation!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- don't abuse the fonts. Italics for flashbacks is okay. Don't abuse the bolds. AND DON'T ABUSE THE CAPS. REALLY.
- don't rush to post your fic until you've re-read it for mistakes. Several times. Even then, when possible, get a beta.
- don't use the "Flashback!" "End flashback!" labels. They break the flow of the text. Just announce with a "She remembered," change the verb tense or use italics optionally, and end the flashback with a mention of the character's thoughts being brought back to present.
- don't throw authors notes into the middle of the story. They disrupt the flow of the text as well. Place them at the beginning or the end of the text. In the meantime, the story should speak for itself.
- don't abuse the Japanese. Please. Suffixes are okay as they have no equivalents in English, but English is a beautiful language. Really. You don't need bastardized Japanese.
- and if you do use some Japanese, please understand or research the usage first. It only takes a few minutes to check up the meaning of suffixes and ways to address family members. Nii-san, for example, is a respectful way of saying "older brother." As such, Hanabi won't address Hinata as nii-san, and Neji won't address Hanabi as nii-chan.
2. The characters:
- a character is influenced by the world he grows up in. As such, Neji probably won't be an ass to Hinata in an AU where his father is still alive. This does open up room for possibilities, but...
- don't make the characters Too OOC. No matter what the environment, Hinata will probably not turn into say... Sakura or Sasuke. And why would I want Neji to turn into Jiraiya?
- don't forget character development. People can grow out of and into flaws as they grow up, but don't go overboard either. Very likely, the characters won't be acting the same at age 30 than they did at age 15.
- d-d-don't o-o-o-overdo t-t-the s-s-s-s-stutter. When Hinata stutters, it's usually Once at the beginning of a sentence. That's about it. And she does so because she's nervous (not because she has a natural speech impediment), so she likely won't stutter when she's Not nervous, and she may grow out of it eventually. Also, there are other ways of portraying her nervousness, such as making her ponder her words carefully or making her talk hesitantly.
- don't turn the characters into Mary Sues or Gary Stus for the sake of your personal satisfaction. Characters with flaws are more interesting. Really.
- don't use the characters as your personal means of self-insert. Hinata is not a goth who loves rock music and Harry Potter. In line with this...
- don't make the characters talk like a bunch of swearing American teenagers.
- don't go over the top with the drama. These are shinobi, they won't break at every little thing. Hinata won't start cutting herself just because Naruto doesn't like her, and Neji won't start cutting himself just because Hinata doesn't like Him. They won't start yelling like madmen either.
- don't forget that Neji and Hinata are Hyuuga shinobi, and that they should act accordingly. Hinata, in particular, should not be a defenseless schoolgirl who gets easily raped even by civilians.
- don't turn everybody else into cheap plot devices just because you feel like bashing everybody else. Naruto is not a cheating bastard, Sakura is not a bimbo bitch.
- when possible, don't forget the other characters. The main protagonists have no reason to hold the monopoly on development. Lucky you, the Hyuugas are a rather reserved bunch, but that shouldn't prevent you from exploring the other characters at least Some of the time.
- though if you're really bad at developing the other characters, then don't write them at all.
3. The original characters:
- don't make mountains of them. It's tedious to remember who's who. Quality over quantity, please. When possible, use the original cast instead.
- don't insist too much on them. Most likely, the readers are interested in the character of Naruto, not your own characters. Ideally, the OC should seamlessly blend into the story without taking the limelight away from the main protagonists, unless it's one heck of a well-written OC.
- don't forget though, that even then, a good OC needs a minimum of depth. Do you realize how hard it is to place a good OC now? You have to juggle between developing them and not pushing them onto uncaring readers.
- don't make the OC: a Mary Sue, a Gary Stu, or a self-insert. If we needed omnipresent characters, we'd go look for the Uchihas. Don't make a Mary Sue Uchiha either.
- don't name the OC Steven, Jack, Gary, Mary or any other US names, Especially not in the Naruto universe.
- don't just make a bunch of uni-dimensional bastards just there to advance the plot. Evil is okay, but cliche stupids are boring. Although the reader may get a sense of satisfaction when the character gets beaten to a pulp, the rest of the time it's just annoying. It's perhaps better than reducing the existing cast to said roles, though (don't do that either).
4. Relationships:
- don't rush it. Neji and Hinata won't be hot for each other from the get-go. Spend at least a few paragraphs to offer a (good) explanation of the current status of their relationship, and ideally, if it's a long fic, conclude the development in no less than a dozen chapters. Really.
- don't overdo the drama surrounding it. Hinata won't burst out in tears and reach for a knife if her childhood crush rejects her (though she will likely be depressed: don't rush the aftermath), and Neji can't just expect to heal her in under 12 minutes with his sexual prowess (what sexual prowess?) Ideally, build up the pain slowly and make it subtle.
- don't make Neji a complete jerk one moment, and make him "suddenly" realize that he's madly in love with Hinata the next moment but "it's already too late." A change in sentiments has to make sense, so put in some development first please!
- don't make harems. A triangle has enough potential for depth and complications. Anything beyond that waters down the intensity and degenerates into teenage hormones.
- don't make the other party excessively shallow when using triangles. As said, Naruto is not a cheating bastard, and neither Sakura nor Tenten are bimbo bitches. If either breaks up with Hinata or Neji, it would very likely be as much the fault of Hinata or Neji (who are not perfect either, there Is such a thing as a relationship that does not work out, without either side being evil incarnate).
- if you go for smut scenes, don't mistake porn for good sexual experience. And a bit of restraint please! A minimum of repression is actually more enticing than the kids acting like a bunch of horny monkeys!
- don't mistake sex and love, either. Sure, you can have both sex and love, but the love part must have an explanation besides sex.
5. World, context, plot, themes:
- if another author has successfully explored a plot or theme, don't take that as cue to attempt the Exact same ones... with poorer execution. I've read fics that re-use the arranged marriage plot and the garden and mother themes that were successfully developed in other fics... except these ones throw the development out. Wtf? If you lack the skills to execute it on the same level as past authors, the least you could do is be original.
- don't write overdone "obvious" scenes. If you can't think of an original way of describing Hinata's reaction upon learning of an arranged marriage, then skip it. Simple? Focus on the original parts. Don't make her bawl her eyes off and go cut herself (again).
- don't abuse the jutsus either. I've seen a few fics come up with dozens of incredibly boring jutsus with cheesy names. If you need original techniques, stick to a few good creative ones and go easy on the power level.
6. Descriptions:
- don't tell, show. Much more on this one later.
- and don't describe everything and its dog either. The description must serve to establish a mood or to indirectly hint to the character's thoughts. You're neither the weather man nor commenting on the latest fashion show.
If you have successfully avoided all these pitfalls, then at the very least, your fic won't be insanely bad. When planning a fic, go over these over and over to make sure everything is in place. That was the easy part.
B. The hard part
0. Preparation and highlight
An author doesn't necessarily have to plan the whole story in advance, but ideally, you should at least have an idea of what you are aiming for. What exactly are you trying to elaborate: A theme? A plot? Something else? It can start with just a "what if," but even then, you can't just throw in both characters and expect to get a fic. Some fics start well, then the writer loses any idea of how to proceed. Eh.
I'm not an authority on the matter, I just know what I like to review. Here's how I personally distinguish categories:
- impact of concept. It can be humor, angst, or just strangeness, but the core idea must be there.
- depth of characterization: of the characters, of the relationships, of the world around them.
- story execution: how it is developed.
- beauty of descriptions: show and tell, as well as other presentation aspects.
This is just a personal view, but it might be a good start. You probably won't agree with everything, but if even 10% of these recommendations were useful, then you reading this would not have been a waste of time, eh.
The first two categories deal with content, while the second two deal with presentation, though obviously the categories overlap. From now on, pay a bit of attention. Since I have no authority as a writer myself, I will be offering examples in each section from other fanfics.
I. Impact of concept
Isn't this how people usually start? Grasp a concept and go with it? Here's an example of what Not to do:
- "Hinata gets dumped by Naruto and she's all depressed and she wants to die and Neji comes along and you know the rest."
- "Hinata is forced to marry Neji and she's all sad and stuff but Neji then sexes her up."
- "Harem fic!"
*insert tumbleweed blowing by*
While those... concepts can be re-explored, the fic would have to rely on other aspects to carry its weight. Otherwise... eh. But there are so many possibilities when it comes to the core concept, especially with NejiHina.
1. Plot concept
It can be a plot concept. What if Hizashi were the older son? What if things were slightly different? What if Hinata took the initiative of changing the clan? What if she Didn't take the initiative of changing the clan?
- Runespoor's If Hizashi Were the Older Son series explores the possibilities if Neji were of the Main House
- Crossroads by Hiasobi is an alternate take on the arranged marriage scenario.
- It falls to Words by Chevira Lowe is one of those rare apology fics.
Admittedly, most NejiHina fanworks do not have very complicated plots. Instead they focus on the depth of characterization in an otherwise relatively simple story. Nothing wrong with that.
2. Abstract concepts
And it can be an abstract concept: opposition, sight, destruction, even feelings such as strangeness, irony or just humor. Hiasobi is arguably the master of exploring various concepts in NejiHina fanfics. I can only suggest that you go read a number of her works to get an idea of the sheer amount of possibilities. Here are a few:
- Sight explores the concepts of contrast and sight.
- Loss explores a father's regrets.
- Silliness is a humorous interpretation of Neji's rants against the main house
And by others:
- Heroes are overrated by Nidaba explores the concept of leadership.
- They Never Romanced and The Simplest Answer by Kaiyrah go for a simplicity theme.
3. Objects
You can even explore objects such as plants again. But do it in an original manner. Like Eloquencelost's Uncommon gifts.
A good concept is the pillar of a one-shot. Although it is harder to use a consistent theme in longer works, themes can be used to enrich those stories considerably as well. One of the few examples is of course Sintari's Rosemary for Remembrance, where the theme of water and its relationship to Hyuuga women form a thread throughout the story, until the dramatic conclusion.
Do you see? There are a lot more possibilities to explore than "Hinata-gets-dumped" and "arranged marriage."
II. Depth of characterization
1. Neji and Hinata
I won't repeat the relevant section of my NejiHina essay. Neji and Hinata are not rigid characters. They are imperfect characters who take the colors of their environment and are affected by the people around them. Naruto by contrast is often what he is Despite his environment: human, but strong and determined in an unnatural way.
With Neji and Hinata, nothing was set from the start. The slightest change in their environment would have altered their lives completely: if their clan wasn't so rigid, if Hizashi didn't die, if Hiashi weren't such a coward, if Naruto hadn't showed up. Even then, their history, past actions and environment surely continue to shape them. This opens up a whole spectrum of possibilities.
So don't limit it to just "Boo-hoo Hinata is depressed because Naruto just dumped her and WHOA hot damn Neji is looking Hot there!"
2. The Hyuugas
Neji and Hinata's lives are closely intertwined with the Hyuuga clan. Kishimoto does not address the workings of the clan in more detailed - this actually opens up writers to explore more possibilities.
Neji and Hinata's relationship to the clan needs not be limited to "Hinata vs the Big Bad Clan then Neji comes along and the whole clan gets forgotten." Taking into consideration the workings of the clan, as well as the people in it (because Hinata Does have a family), can add a new layer of depth into the story.
Sintari's Rosemary for Remembrance for example offers an in-depth interpretation of the destinies of the Hyuuga and its members. Chance for Change by Bittersweet Mika is also about Hinata taking the initiative to change her clan.
Sometimes, the relationships can be described through the point of view of another member. Hiasobi's The One Dream and Loss and Runespoor's Upholding traditions all deal with the relationship between Neji and Hinata from Hiashi's point of view, with very different outcomes, and giving depth not only to Neji and Hinata, but to the other members of the Hyuuga clan as well. Though... strangely enough, I haven't found many fics from Hanabi's point of view.
3. The other Konoha shinobi
In the "don't" guide, I've mentioned that you should absolutely not reduce the other characters to uni-dimensional fodders. What do you think is better writing, portraying Naruto as a horny cheating bastard, and the other girls as a bunch of bimbo bitches, or portraying Naruto as a broken child with a broken team with broken dreams, who tries to do his best but is not without his flaws, and portraying the other girls as people with their own lives, own flaws and insecurities, who have to struggle between more girly dreams and the harsh realities of being a kunoichi?
What do you think would make Neji and Hinata look better in all this? Make them saints in a world of monkeys, or as part of this greater, flawed but beautiful whole?
If you can't do any of this, don't write the other characters at all. Lucky you: the Hyuugas are a rather reserved and quiet bunch, so outside interactions and influence may be realistically kept to a minimal. But if you Do write them, then it simply isn't very realistic for just two characters to hold the monopoly on depth and development (and NejiHina fics aren't the only ones guilty of this).
You don't have to center the whole fic around the other characters. Just hinting at the other characters and at their development is enough. But be aware that the richer interactions and environment would only add to a reader's perception of Neji and Hinata as well, perhaps by offering alternate points of views, perhaps by placing their relationship in context, perhaps by having the characters be influenced in a way that enriches the relationship.
The ability to simultaneously develop all the characters is the reason I love Scented Candle's The Logical Conclusion, for example. It is a SasuHinaNeji fic which unfortunately is no longer updated. But in this fic, even if the author dislikes Sakura, even Sakura gets developed properly and portrayed as a girl not without her flaws, but not inherently mean at heart. It also develops other characters such as Hanabi, lost in the whole politics and not truly understanding.
Oversights and Celebrations by Runespoor also has Hinata interacting with other characters.
From what I've gathered, being able to successfully portray and develop other characters in a fanfiction centered on just one pairing brings about a whole new dimension of difficulty. If you are capable of pulling it off though... hats off to you.
4. Original characters
OCs can be well-written, but writers often don't seem to realize that it is far harder to include a good OC than to write the original cast. The rules that apply to the original cast applies to the OCs as well, but unlike said original cast, an OC does not have the benefit of implied characterization from the manga.
For example, a consequence of show vs tell is the rule against describing everything, from the physical appearance to the clothes worn. Any description or background should Only be there to further the mood of a story. This isn't a police file or a fashion magazine. But have you ever seen something like this?
See OC #1. He is 5"8, has blue hair, one yellow eye and one pink one, is wearing a leather jacket, black pants, leather boots, a leather hat, and is carrying a big sword. He is obnoxious, and is the last survivor of some ancient bloodline clan. See OC#2, teammate to the former. She's 5"4, has red hair, green eyes, is wearing several layers of clothing, is sexy, and is very smart, or something. See OC#3.
*YAWN*
Then after a while, you forget which OC is which, and you don't really want to know because half of them are fodder and the other half are boring. As much as some authors hate to realize, the OC is usually the mere means to an end (the story), not an end in himself.
The good OC must blend seemlessly into the storyline. Have a look at Runespoor's Day in the Life and The Lady of the Willow's Choices. They leave out: the clothes, the physical descriptions, the abilities, even the background for some. If the OC doesn't have something that stands out and that benefits the mood or storyline, then keep him completely anonymous. We don't need the names of the moldy old council members, we don't need the names of 4 different Hyuuga Main House members that gang up on say... Neji. Just pick one, give him a few elements to help set the mood, and keep the others anonymous.
5. Triangles
Yes, you can exploit triangles. Though please... do it well. The other party should not merely be a stepping stone to Neji and Hinata's own relationship, they should have a depth and purpose (not just "There to make the main pairing look good") of its own. It could involve Naruto (because of Hinata), Sasuke (for clan politics) and even others. By developing these alternate relationships well, you'd end up with a richer story than if you just went with shallow harem effects.
Also realize that in line with the above, any "fault" will not necessarily lie with just the other party. Why make Neji and Hinata perfect little angels (c'mon, they're Hyuugas. Do Hyuugas look like perfect little angels to you?), when characters such as Naruto get reduced to cheating bastards? Sometimes, one or the other party just can't help himself. It's not necessarily because one is the ultimate incarnation of evil, often relationships just don't work out.
Sand and Glass by Ninjacat and At All Costs (M) by LadyLefaye for example are quite compelling NejiHinaNaru works.
You can even use OCs! Choices, by The Lady of the Willows, is (in my opinion) a good example. I actually felt sorry for the original characters: they did deserve better.
6. The world beyond
Don't you think it's a pity? NejiHina fics have done a good job exploring the possibilities of this relationships, and exploring the possibilities of the Hyuuga clan politics, while sometimes bringing in the rest of the cast to add to the relationship.
But if there's one thing I see very little of, it's the inclusion of Neji and Hinata into the greater universe of Shinobi.
Neji and Hinata are often portrayed as many things, including protector and heiress, but their lives during missions are rarely addressed. Maybe it's because the writers are more focused on their character and relationships or on their clan, but nonetheless I would have liked to see the greater world addressed.
Some fics do that. In The Return (find the rest of links in the recommendation list), Runespoor drops the two characters into the middle of a war between Konoha and Sound. It develops other characters as well, and throws in tidbits such as the involvement of civilians. In A Distance Erased, by Thursday-Kat, Hinata is set into the world of kunoichi. The aspect does not need much focus, but the little we're shown is enough to get a whole new perspective.
If you want some background inspiration, you can also read my Konoha history essay. Really, there's much to be read even in canon Naruto if you look in-between the lines, and that's not counting your own imagination.
Basically, describing whole missions isn't even necessary. But surely one can come up with a better way of making this lifestyle felt than "Neji goes out on a mission and comes back the next day. The end." Right? Even if the mission itself isn't described, at least the effects could be felt.
And what's with the lack of battle scenes in NejiHina fanfiction? :( Sure, they're hard to write well, but at least keep in mind the Hyuuga abilities. Some fics make it seem as though Neji and Hinata have both lost their Byakugans. Day in the Life, by Runespoor, set in the same universe as The Return, is one example of how a battle scene can be included (and actually not be bland and boring, as I've seen in too many other fics). Learn from it?
7. Ending notes on this section
Now you probably have an idea of just how much is left to explore.
Note, though, that unless you're an experienced writer, I don't recommending trying to simultaneously do All aspects in depth at the same time. If you can pull off great characterization in just two or three aspects, you'd already be well ahead of most writers. But good characterization takes work and planning, so keep that in mind. Don't just throw in everything out of the blue, because a good story needs good execution. See next section.
III. Execution of story
You've got the concepts and the characterization in mind, now all you have to do is string everything together and make it a story. To do that you... actually, I have no idea. *gets bricked*
Here's some possible advice though: start at the very beginning.
1. In-depth vs Parallel exploration
With NejiHina, you have two major choices: either think of one universe and explore it in as much depth as possible, or on the contrary flirt with a number of possibilities. Most of Sintari's fics for example are set in her Rosemary verse. Runespoor has a similarly deep Celebration verse. Hiasobi by contrast explores the multitude of possibilities, something Runespoor also does in her series of Had Hizashi Been the Older Son.
Which one do you think would fit your style better? What is it you prefer to emphasize? Do you have just one interpretation of the Naruto universe, but one so rich that you can go on about it forever? Or on the contrary, do you like to experiment with different concepts and environments?
2. Long stories, one-shots, drabbles
Some people try writing long fics without thinking about what they're capable of accomplishing first. This may be a mistake, as they later run out of ideas, and drag on the story without producing anything meaningful. Personally, I suggest trying to first evaluate what you have at hand, and what exactly you are trying to portray.
Do you have a whole universe to portray, with intricate plots and character interactions that can only be portrayed through multiple chapters? Or on the contrary, do you just have one very strong concept, and wish to bring it to life?
In the case of the latter, it might actually be more beneficial to write a one-shot, or even a drabble. Their brevity allows you to concentrate on the main idea you are trying to bring out. A good one-shot is thus better than a long dragged-out work. See Hiasobi's works: their brevity is actually an asset.
3. Know when to develop
If you merely explore a core concept in a drabble, you may focus on that and omit everything that comes before and after. Basically, rushing the characterization is a no, but when you are focusing on just one moment of their lives, it can easily be implied that many things came before that. But if the fic Is about the evolution of the relationship between Neji and Hinata, then you Do have to develop it.
First you'll have to decide when to get it started. Do you start by describing the relationship when they were 3 and 4, or do you start right after the chuunin exams? Scented Candle's The Logical Conclusion places the beginning at a time when the two have already become close to each other, after a good explanation of how they came to this point.
After that though... You have to go from point A to point B and the best way to do it usually isn't a straight line. Have progress, setbacks, obstacles and the lot. There is actually More appeal when something is developed slowly. One of the most popular SasuHina fanfictions is Renoa Heartilly's Torn, and it takes 20 chapters for the two characters to get anywhere!
For NejiHina, there's Rosemary for Remembrance of course. But this gradual development can also be seen in shorter stories, namely Hiasobi's The Days Passing By, as well as the hints in The One Dream.
4. Know when to skip it
Rushing characterization = no.
Being selective in what you portray = yes.
One thing that annoys me with NejiHina fics is the repetitiveness of so many new ones. You don't have to re-write Hinata's reaction upon her getting the curse seal every time, and you don't have to re-write Hinata's reaction to an arranged marriage every time, especially if you can't think of anything better than Hinata bawling her eyes out. Unless you have a great well-written original concept to back it up, you can skip the scene and focus on the aftermath. If you don't have that much to say in the first place, do a one-shot.
In A Method to her Madness, for example, we didn't even get an explanation to what happened to Hinata: the consequences speak for themselves, allowing the reader to focus on the disturbing quality of the tea scene. In Runespoor's The Return, the author didn't have to repeat everything that had happened to Hinata in the Sound, she just described enough to give us an idea of Hinata's mentality, and that was that. In her Day in the Life, we never even get a description of Neji or Hinata's thoughts, just the observation through a confused third party. In concept-centric drabbles such as Sunfreak's Learning how to Breathe, it would have been quite pointless to complain about the "lack of development."
Similarly, in Rosemary for Remembrance, Sintari skips entire sections of the character lives, instead focusing on crucial moments of their lives while letting the readers fill in the blanks. It would have been boring, if she had to rewrite the chuunin exams, and every day of their lives. In Fallen Heights (which apparently isn't really a pairing-centric fic, but does focus on Neji and Hinata), the writer doesn't mind skipping entire years either, because the most crucial elements can always be described in a flashback, or simply be felt in the consequences.
And if the best excuse you can think of for writing a smut scene is "Neji is having a bad hair day so he decides to rape Hinata," then maybe you should stop attempting to give such bad excuses and simply get on with it. *cough* But please, write a good one, and try to include at least Some original concept.
5. Points of view
I've noticed that many people tend to use a general point of view and go with that, but a bit more thought on your choice of point of view can add to the story immensely.
Basically, third person descriptions can take on several forms, including:
- a general, omniscient point of view, which describes basically everything
- and a perspective that's written in third person, but that closely follows the perception of just one person present
In the case of the last one, the choice of just whose thoughts you are portraying may benefit your story in many ways, including:
- deepening the reader's immersion into the scene, by making him see through the eyes of one of those present
- offering an alternate point of view on an otherwise simple or overdone scene
- making use of "the unsaid," thus opening up a whole range of effects
When choosing this, Don't describe the thoughts of the other characters beyond what the chosen one is capable of observing!
In Rosemary for Remembrance, when the story follows Hinata's point of view, we don't get access to Neji's thoughts, and vice-versa. In Runespoor's Day in the Life, we see all the scenes through the eyes of the OC, and we never, ever, get a glimpse of the thoughts of Neji and Hinata. In Hiasobi's loss and in Runespoor's Upholding Traditions, we see the story entirely through the eyes of Hiashi.
This tunnel vision allows one to obtain a much more powerful and varied effects than if the reader had access to everybody's thoughts.
Likewise, a judicious choice of points of view may allow you to deftly manage scenes that are otherwise difficult to write for a number of reasons (reasons including: it's boring and overdone). If you have to mention Hinata's sealing process for example, you may want to shift to a general point of view that summarizes the part instead of writing for the n-th time how Hinata breaks down, or you may give the reader a completely different take on the occurrence by shifting to another person's perspective. For example, instead of describing the event through the eyes of Hinata or Neji, how about announcing the event through the thoughts and reactions of her teammates, of her sensei, even of more distant characters such as Iruka? How they muse about the differences between the Hyuugas and their own family, and how they feel anger when Hinata shows up one day with the bandages to her forehead?
To my experience, successful long fics tend to alternate between points of views to greatly enrichen the reader's perspective on the story. The first step is to realize that such possibilities are open to you.
6. Long fics: overall planning method
... no idea. *gets bricked*
From my observations though, a successful long fic is not an endless continuation of the characters talking about nothing important, but a calculated succession of the following:
- crucial scenes in Neji and Hinata's lives. They're not just any scenes: they're ones that offer a glimpse of their evolving characters and relationship. They're there for a reason.
- interactions or perceptions from other characters, which offer a wider vision of the occurrences, either by reminding us that there's a whole world outside, or by offering alternate views of the NejiHina relationship. As I've said, make use of varying points of view to give a richer perception to the story.
- in-depth explanations of either the Hyuugas or the world at large. For example, Sintari at several times elaborates the destiny of the Hyuuga woman. Runespoor in The Return offers insights on the shinobi life.
Many so-so fics don't even do a good job of the first point, and forget everything else...
Also, as Kaiyrah notes, there is almost always no meaning to the story if a character doesn't gain something from his/her experiences. Neji is promoted to Anbu, Hinata dies, Neji becomes clan head. Then what? The very essence of most NejiHina fanfics is the characterization: the trials and experiences of both characters as they muddle through their environment, their successes but also failures. When you write an occurrence in a long fic, it must be for a reason: what does the scene show? What has changed?
Basically, writing a good long fic is far from easy. You have to have enough elements at hand to give meaning to every section: good luck.
IV. Beauty of descriptions
Have you ever read that one scene, that one Line, that makes you go "Wow" and that you remember long after you've read the story?
Personally, I still remembered the drowning scene in Rosemary for Remembrance days after I've read it, visualizing that beautiful moment over and over, even imagining the water closing over my own head.
In Runespoor's Day in the Life, the line that keeps flashing in my mind is "She moves in geta." What better way to express the horror faced by the enemy nin?
And in It Falls to Words, Neji's announcement to Hinata left me grinning for quite a while.
The beauty of descriptions alone can even carry a whole drabble. This is the case, for example, of Sintari's Beyond Compare.
You must have realized that a good writer isn't just about filling up an amount of space. Just like with art, the good writer goes over a scene over and over until the effect is perfect, pondering on every feeling, every word. Such a writer puts more time and effort into a few lines than a bad writer does into whole pages of bad spelling and thoughtless characterization. But as a result, a single scene from that author will forever have a stronger impact than the pages that the bad writer tries to fill up.
That one scene, that one line, is the highlight of the fic that will remain in the reader's mind long after everything else is forgotten. That one moment is what can cause the shift between a mediocre fic and one that leaves a lasting impression, as all the other lines get forgotten but that one scene remains (though... please do a good job with the rest as well). That one moment can define the whole story.
1. Show vs tell
Read Sintari's tip on show vs tell.
Read it again.
If there's anything in this guide that can improve your writing skills Immensely, it's Show vs Tell. In fact, I suspect that just adopting Show vs Tell would shift your mentality in a way that will help you improve on many other aspects as well.
Show vs Tell is particularly suited to NejiHina. Both Neji and Hinata are relatively quiet people. The Hyuugas, in general, seem to be introvert people who won't loudly declare their feelings. Instead, the emotions are muffled, and can only be observed through very subtle reactions and effects. Hinata won't start yelling "F*ck you daddy! You're a meanie jerk!" Instead her shoulders will tremble and her nails will dig into her palms. Neji won't start saying "Hey Hinata you're looking hot! Let's go get some action!" Instead he will avert his eyes to hide his shame from Hinata.
This can generate a feeling of claustrophobia that is actually well-suited to the closed Hyuuga environment.
Here are a few corollaries of Show vs Tell:
2. Focus on a theme or object
Instead of filling pages of internal monologue (*yawn*), use the settings around the character to bring out an effect. Sintari's Rosemary for Remembrance is full of such examples, from the subtle actions of the characters, to the description of the theme of water, to the focus on simple objects that tell a whole history in themselves.
In Day in the Life, Runespoor does a very selective description of Hinata's attire. She doesn't do so for the sake of a fashion commentary, but to express the bewilderment of the enemy shinobi. The effect is certainly a lot more powerful than the enemy going "Wtf her speed is 4.5/5!"
In A Method to her Madness, the author never gives us direct access to Hinata's thoughts, instead focuses on the tea. In Solitary Bygone, CelticDaemonWitch was able to express Hinata's troubled thoughts through a brush. A brush!
Think of how You would normally observe a character's sentiments: it certainly isn't by listening to the person's monologue. Instead you deduce the mood through observation of the surroundings and actions.
3. Descriptions Must serve a purpose
Aka you're not the weather man. Don't describe the weather save for that one element that betrays the character's emotions. You're not the fashion man either. Don't describe the character attires save for that one element that stands out, such as Hinata's geta in Runespoor's fic. I've read a bunch of fics where the author goes on and on about the attire an OC is wearing, and quite frankly they make me want to go to sleep.
4. Use the unsaid
People aren't stupid. If something is obvious enough, then you don't need to shove it down their throats. It is enough for a person to walk in on a room in disarray, with the other person huddled in the corner. You do not need to write the actual scene where the person goes crazy, or write that "The person is feeling distraught."
In Rosemary for Remembrance, Neji notes the likely interaction between Naruto and Hinata merely through the little things. More explanations aren't needed.
5. Pace
Finally, there are a variety of literary to set the pace. Ones I've observed include:
- build-up: the clues gradually add up until the big moment. Hiasobi's The Days Passing By, or Sintari's Beyond Compare.
- contrast: Learning how to Breathe. In Day in the Life, the contrast between the frantic enemy shinobi and Hinata's calm demeanor.
- alternation: the epilogue of Rosemary for Remembrance. The super-imposed points of view sets a rather unique pace.
- banality, followed by an unexpected downfall, catching the reader off-guard. Sintari's rather creepy Love Story.
Try to use these and more (but be careful about execution) in order to give the right pace to your story, thus bringing out the individual moments even more.
6. Humor
Humor is perhaps the one category where the descriptions don't really have to be "beautiful," but structurally there are points in common: you have to set the right pace, and you have to find the right lines and concepts. Well... how you choose to express humor is up to you.
C. Conclusion, the hardest part: putting it all into execution
Ideally, unless it's a heck of a short drabble and a heck of a powerful concept, then you should try to succeed on no less than two of the mentioned categories. Usually, strength of concept goes hand in hand with the beauty of its description, and good characterization is only possible thanks to flawless execution, though other combinations are possible. Try to succeed on at least two or three points of at least two categories.
And if you're able to simultaneously master three aspects, or even four, then you're a god. Congratulations. Please link me to your fic! Though if you need me to tell you all this, you'll probably need practice first (practice makes perfect, including with writing!).
That said, if these rules were enough to get fics out of you, then I'd be writing fics too! *gets bricked*
These advice are just starters. The imagination (and tedious execution afterwards) is up to you. You can always practice concepts and beauty of descriptions by making short drabbles or scenes for yourself and pondering over and over how to make them sound best. Or you can think up scenarios and characterizations for the characters and the world around them. All this will add up to a pool of possibilities from which you can draw when you want to create something more complicated.
Happy writing! (Though I suspect the NejiHina fandom isn't getting a revival anytime soon. Ah well. Who wants to bet that the majority of the NejiHina fandom left no longer has the attention span to read this particular essay? XD )
NejiHina used to have very few written works, but they were good ones.
Then we had a lot of badly-written ones, and just about no well-written ones.
Now we have very few written works, and for the most part they're badly-written.
There's really not much that can be done. At the very least, the NejiHina fandom has had glorious moments in the past, so I won't complain too much.
Instead, I've written this fanfic writing recommendation guide. Who knows? Maybe it will be of some help. Some of these tips apply to fanfiction in general, but I focus specifically on the case of NejiHina. Other fandoms have their own particularities.
I welcome any additional suggestions! :D
A. The list of don'ts
B. The hard part
0. Preparation and highlight
I. Impact of concept
II. Depth of characterization
III. Execution of story
IV. Beauty of descriptions
C. Conclusion, the hardest part: putting it all into execution
Table of content
A. The list of don'ts
1. The basics
2. The characters
3. The original characters
4. Relationships
5. World, context, plot, themes
6. Descriptions
B. The hard part
0. Preparation and highlight
I. Impact of concept
1. Plot concept
2. Abstract concepts
3. Objects
II. Depth of characterization
1. Neji and Hinata
2. The Hyuugas
3. The other Konoha shinobi
4. Original characters
5. Triangles
6. The world beyond
7. Ending notes on this section
III. Execution of story
1. In-depth vs Parallel exploration
2. Long stories, one-shots, drabbles
3. Know when to develop
4. Know when to skip it
5. Points of views
6. Long fics: overall planning method
IV. Beauty of descriptions
1. Show vs tell
2. Focus on a theme or object
3. Descriptions Must serve a purpose
4. Use the unsaid
5. Pace
6. Humor
C. Conclusion, the hardest part: putting it all into execution
A personal guide to writing NejiHina
A. The list of don'ts
I'll keep this brief, yes? I'm pretty sure it's all self-explanatory. Print it out, or something. That said, I find it kind of sad that this is needed at all.
1. The basics:
- don't neglect your spelling. Don't use internet slang talk ("you" is not spelled "u"). Do use spelling check.
- don't neglect your grammar. Don't mix up "your" and "you're" , "then" and "than" and other common mistakes. And it's "would have", not "would of." If English isn't your native language, do ask for help.
- don't mix up your verb tenses. Stick to either present or past tense unless for remembering past events.
- don't use huge blocks of illegible text of over a dozen lines. I know some of your are dyslexic, but please use the "enter" key.
- don't forget your punctuation.
- don't,,,,, abuse?!?!!? your punctuation!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- don't abuse the fonts. Italics for flashbacks is okay. Don't abuse the bolds. AND DON'T ABUSE THE CAPS. REALLY.
- don't rush to post your fic until you've re-read it for mistakes. Several times. Even then, when possible, get a beta.
- don't use the "Flashback!" "End flashback!" labels. They break the flow of the text. Just announce with a "She remembered," change the verb tense or use italics optionally, and end the flashback with a mention of the character's thoughts being brought back to present.
- don't throw authors notes into the middle of the story. They disrupt the flow of the text as well. Place them at the beginning or the end of the text. In the meantime, the story should speak for itself.
- don't abuse the Japanese. Please. Suffixes are okay as they have no equivalents in English, but English is a beautiful language. Really. You don't need bastardized Japanese.
- and if you do use some Japanese, please understand or research the usage first. It only takes a few minutes to check up the meaning of suffixes and ways to address family members. Nii-san, for example, is a respectful way of saying "older brother." As such, Hanabi won't address Hinata as nii-san, and Neji won't address Hanabi as nii-chan.
2. The characters:
- a character is influenced by the world he grows up in. As such, Neji probably won't be an ass to Hinata in an AU where his father is still alive. This does open up room for possibilities, but...
- don't make the characters Too OOC. No matter what the environment, Hinata will probably not turn into say... Sakura or Sasuke. And why would I want Neji to turn into Jiraiya?
- don't forget character development. People can grow out of and into flaws as they grow up, but don't go overboard either. Very likely, the characters won't be acting the same at age 30 than they did at age 15.
- d-d-don't o-o-o-overdo t-t-the s-s-s-s-stutter. When Hinata stutters, it's usually Once at the beginning of a sentence. That's about it. And she does so because she's nervous (not because she has a natural speech impediment), so she likely won't stutter when she's Not nervous, and she may grow out of it eventually. Also, there are other ways of portraying her nervousness, such as making her ponder her words carefully or making her talk hesitantly.
- don't turn the characters into Mary Sues or Gary Stus for the sake of your personal satisfaction. Characters with flaws are more interesting. Really.
- don't use the characters as your personal means of self-insert. Hinata is not a goth who loves rock music and Harry Potter. In line with this...
- don't make the characters talk like a bunch of swearing American teenagers.
- don't go over the top with the drama. These are shinobi, they won't break at every little thing. Hinata won't start cutting herself just because Naruto doesn't like her, and Neji won't start cutting himself just because Hinata doesn't like Him. They won't start yelling like madmen either.
- don't forget that Neji and Hinata are Hyuuga shinobi, and that they should act accordingly. Hinata, in particular, should not be a defenseless schoolgirl who gets easily raped even by civilians.
- don't turn everybody else into cheap plot devices just because you feel like bashing everybody else. Naruto is not a cheating bastard, Sakura is not a bimbo bitch.
- when possible, don't forget the other characters. The main protagonists have no reason to hold the monopoly on development. Lucky you, the Hyuugas are a rather reserved bunch, but that shouldn't prevent you from exploring the other characters at least Some of the time.
- though if you're really bad at developing the other characters, then don't write them at all.
3. The original characters:
- don't make mountains of them. It's tedious to remember who's who. Quality over quantity, please. When possible, use the original cast instead.
- don't insist too much on them. Most likely, the readers are interested in the character of Naruto, not your own characters. Ideally, the OC should seamlessly blend into the story without taking the limelight away from the main protagonists, unless it's one heck of a well-written OC.
- don't forget though, that even then, a good OC needs a minimum of depth. Do you realize how hard it is to place a good OC now? You have to juggle between developing them and not pushing them onto uncaring readers.
- don't make the OC: a Mary Sue, a Gary Stu, or a self-insert. If we needed omnipresent characters, we'd go look for the Uchihas. Don't make a Mary Sue Uchiha either.
- don't name the OC Steven, Jack, Gary, Mary or any other US names, Especially not in the Naruto universe.
- don't just make a bunch of uni-dimensional bastards just there to advance the plot. Evil is okay, but cliche stupids are boring. Although the reader may get a sense of satisfaction when the character gets beaten to a pulp, the rest of the time it's just annoying. It's perhaps better than reducing the existing cast to said roles, though (don't do that either).
4. Relationships:
- don't rush it. Neji and Hinata won't be hot for each other from the get-go. Spend at least a few paragraphs to offer a (good) explanation of the current status of their relationship, and ideally, if it's a long fic, conclude the development in no less than a dozen chapters. Really.
- don't overdo the drama surrounding it. Hinata won't burst out in tears and reach for a knife if her childhood crush rejects her (though she will likely be depressed: don't rush the aftermath), and Neji can't just expect to heal her in under 12 minutes with his sexual prowess (what sexual prowess?) Ideally, build up the pain slowly and make it subtle.
- don't make Neji a complete jerk one moment, and make him "suddenly" realize that he's madly in love with Hinata the next moment but "it's already too late." A change in sentiments has to make sense, so put in some development first please!
- don't make harems. A triangle has enough potential for depth and complications. Anything beyond that waters down the intensity and degenerates into teenage hormones.
- don't make the other party excessively shallow when using triangles. As said, Naruto is not a cheating bastard, and neither Sakura nor Tenten are bimbo bitches. If either breaks up with Hinata or Neji, it would very likely be as much the fault of Hinata or Neji (who are not perfect either, there Is such a thing as a relationship that does not work out, without either side being evil incarnate).
- if you go for smut scenes, don't mistake porn for good sexual experience. And a bit of restraint please! A minimum of repression is actually more enticing than the kids acting like a bunch of horny monkeys!
- don't mistake sex and love, either. Sure, you can have both sex and love, but the love part must have an explanation besides sex.
5. World, context, plot, themes:
- if another author has successfully explored a plot or theme, don't take that as cue to attempt the Exact same ones... with poorer execution. I've read fics that re-use the arranged marriage plot and the garden and mother themes that were successfully developed in other fics... except these ones throw the development out. Wtf? If you lack the skills to execute it on the same level as past authors, the least you could do is be original.
- don't write overdone "obvious" scenes. If you can't think of an original way of describing Hinata's reaction upon learning of an arranged marriage, then skip it. Simple? Focus on the original parts. Don't make her bawl her eyes off and go cut herself (again).
- don't abuse the jutsus either. I've seen a few fics come up with dozens of incredibly boring jutsus with cheesy names. If you need original techniques, stick to a few good creative ones and go easy on the power level.
6. Descriptions:
- don't tell, show. Much more on this one later.
- and don't describe everything and its dog either. The description must serve to establish a mood or to indirectly hint to the character's thoughts. You're neither the weather man nor commenting on the latest fashion show.
If you have successfully avoided all these pitfalls, then at the very least, your fic won't be insanely bad. When planning a fic, go over these over and over to make sure everything is in place. That was the easy part.
B. The hard part
0. Preparation and highlight
An author doesn't necessarily have to plan the whole story in advance, but ideally, you should at least have an idea of what you are aiming for. What exactly are you trying to elaborate: A theme? A plot? Something else? It can start with just a "what if," but even then, you can't just throw in both characters and expect to get a fic. Some fics start well, then the writer loses any idea of how to proceed. Eh.
I'm not an authority on the matter, I just know what I like to review. Here's how I personally distinguish categories:
- impact of concept. It can be humor, angst, or just strangeness, but the core idea must be there.
- depth of characterization: of the characters, of the relationships, of the world around them.
- story execution: how it is developed.
- beauty of descriptions: show and tell, as well as other presentation aspects.
This is just a personal view, but it might be a good start. You probably won't agree with everything, but if even 10% of these recommendations were useful, then you reading this would not have been a waste of time, eh.
The first two categories deal with content, while the second two deal with presentation, though obviously the categories overlap. From now on, pay a bit of attention. Since I have no authority as a writer myself, I will be offering examples in each section from other fanfics.
I. Impact of concept
Isn't this how people usually start? Grasp a concept and go with it? Here's an example of what Not to do:
- "Hinata gets dumped by Naruto and she's all depressed and she wants to die and Neji comes along and you know the rest."
- "Hinata is forced to marry Neji and she's all sad and stuff but Neji then sexes her up."
- "Harem fic!"
*insert tumbleweed blowing by*
While those... concepts can be re-explored, the fic would have to rely on other aspects to carry its weight. Otherwise... eh. But there are so many possibilities when it comes to the core concept, especially with NejiHina.
1. Plot concept
It can be a plot concept. What if Hizashi were the older son? What if things were slightly different? What if Hinata took the initiative of changing the clan? What if she Didn't take the initiative of changing the clan?
- Runespoor's If Hizashi Were the Older Son series explores the possibilities if Neji were of the Main House
- Crossroads by Hiasobi is an alternate take on the arranged marriage scenario.
- It falls to Words by Chevira Lowe is one of those rare apology fics.
Admittedly, most NejiHina fanworks do not have very complicated plots. Instead they focus on the depth of characterization in an otherwise relatively simple story. Nothing wrong with that.
2. Abstract concepts
And it can be an abstract concept: opposition, sight, destruction, even feelings such as strangeness, irony or just humor. Hiasobi is arguably the master of exploring various concepts in NejiHina fanfics. I can only suggest that you go read a number of her works to get an idea of the sheer amount of possibilities. Here are a few:
- Sight explores the concepts of contrast and sight.
- Loss explores a father's regrets.
- Silliness is a humorous interpretation of Neji's rants against the main house
And by others:
- Heroes are overrated by Nidaba explores the concept of leadership.
- They Never Romanced and The Simplest Answer by Kaiyrah go for a simplicity theme.
3. Objects
You can even explore objects such as plants again. But do it in an original manner. Like Eloquencelost's Uncommon gifts.
A good concept is the pillar of a one-shot. Although it is harder to use a consistent theme in longer works, themes can be used to enrich those stories considerably as well. One of the few examples is of course Sintari's Rosemary for Remembrance, where the theme of water and its relationship to Hyuuga women form a thread throughout the story, until the dramatic conclusion.
Do you see? There are a lot more possibilities to explore than "Hinata-gets-dumped" and "arranged marriage."
II. Depth of characterization
1. Neji and Hinata
I won't repeat the relevant section of my NejiHina essay. Neji and Hinata are not rigid characters. They are imperfect characters who take the colors of their environment and are affected by the people around them. Naruto by contrast is often what he is Despite his environment: human, but strong and determined in an unnatural way.
With Neji and Hinata, nothing was set from the start. The slightest change in their environment would have altered their lives completely: if their clan wasn't so rigid, if Hizashi didn't die, if Hiashi weren't such a coward, if Naruto hadn't showed up. Even then, their history, past actions and environment surely continue to shape them. This opens up a whole spectrum of possibilities.
So don't limit it to just "Boo-hoo Hinata is depressed because Naruto just dumped her and WHOA hot damn Neji is looking Hot there!"
2. The Hyuugas
Neji and Hinata's lives are closely intertwined with the Hyuuga clan. Kishimoto does not address the workings of the clan in more detailed - this actually opens up writers to explore more possibilities.
Neji and Hinata's relationship to the clan needs not be limited to "Hinata vs the Big Bad Clan then Neji comes along and the whole clan gets forgotten." Taking into consideration the workings of the clan, as well as the people in it (because Hinata Does have a family), can add a new layer of depth into the story.
Sintari's Rosemary for Remembrance for example offers an in-depth interpretation of the destinies of the Hyuuga and its members. Chance for Change by Bittersweet Mika is also about Hinata taking the initiative to change her clan.
Sometimes, the relationships can be described through the point of view of another member. Hiasobi's The One Dream and Loss and Runespoor's Upholding traditions all deal with the relationship between Neji and Hinata from Hiashi's point of view, with very different outcomes, and giving depth not only to Neji and Hinata, but to the other members of the Hyuuga clan as well. Though... strangely enough, I haven't found many fics from Hanabi's point of view.
3. The other Konoha shinobi
In the "don't" guide, I've mentioned that you should absolutely not reduce the other characters to uni-dimensional fodders. What do you think is better writing, portraying Naruto as a horny cheating bastard, and the other girls as a bunch of bimbo bitches, or portraying Naruto as a broken child with a broken team with broken dreams, who tries to do his best but is not without his flaws, and portraying the other girls as people with their own lives, own flaws and insecurities, who have to struggle between more girly dreams and the harsh realities of being a kunoichi?
What do you think would make Neji and Hinata look better in all this? Make them saints in a world of monkeys, or as part of this greater, flawed but beautiful whole?
If you can't do any of this, don't write the other characters at all. Lucky you: the Hyuugas are a rather reserved and quiet bunch, so outside interactions and influence may be realistically kept to a minimal. But if you Do write them, then it simply isn't very realistic for just two characters to hold the monopoly on depth and development (and NejiHina fics aren't the only ones guilty of this).
You don't have to center the whole fic around the other characters. Just hinting at the other characters and at their development is enough. But be aware that the richer interactions and environment would only add to a reader's perception of Neji and Hinata as well, perhaps by offering alternate points of views, perhaps by placing their relationship in context, perhaps by having the characters be influenced in a way that enriches the relationship.
The ability to simultaneously develop all the characters is the reason I love Scented Candle's The Logical Conclusion, for example. It is a SasuHinaNeji fic which unfortunately is no longer updated. But in this fic, even if the author dislikes Sakura, even Sakura gets developed properly and portrayed as a girl not without her flaws, but not inherently mean at heart. It also develops other characters such as Hanabi, lost in the whole politics and not truly understanding.
Oversights and Celebrations by Runespoor also has Hinata interacting with other characters.
From what I've gathered, being able to successfully portray and develop other characters in a fanfiction centered on just one pairing brings about a whole new dimension of difficulty. If you are capable of pulling it off though... hats off to you.
4. Original characters
OCs can be well-written, but writers often don't seem to realize that it is far harder to include a good OC than to write the original cast. The rules that apply to the original cast applies to the OCs as well, but unlike said original cast, an OC does not have the benefit of implied characterization from the manga.
For example, a consequence of show vs tell is the rule against describing everything, from the physical appearance to the clothes worn. Any description or background should Only be there to further the mood of a story. This isn't a police file or a fashion magazine. But have you ever seen something like this?
See OC #1. He is 5"8, has blue hair, one yellow eye and one pink one, is wearing a leather jacket, black pants, leather boots, a leather hat, and is carrying a big sword. He is obnoxious, and is the last survivor of some ancient bloodline clan. See OC#2, teammate to the former. She's 5"4, has red hair, green eyes, is wearing several layers of clothing, is sexy, and is very smart, or something. See OC#3.
*YAWN*
Then after a while, you forget which OC is which, and you don't really want to know because half of them are fodder and the other half are boring. As much as some authors hate to realize, the OC is usually the mere means to an end (the story), not an end in himself.
The good OC must blend seemlessly into the storyline. Have a look at Runespoor's Day in the Life and The Lady of the Willow's Choices. They leave out: the clothes, the physical descriptions, the abilities, even the background for some. If the OC doesn't have something that stands out and that benefits the mood or storyline, then keep him completely anonymous. We don't need the names of the moldy old council members, we don't need the names of 4 different Hyuuga Main House members that gang up on say... Neji. Just pick one, give him a few elements to help set the mood, and keep the others anonymous.
5. Triangles
Yes, you can exploit triangles. Though please... do it well. The other party should not merely be a stepping stone to Neji and Hinata's own relationship, they should have a depth and purpose (not just "There to make the main pairing look good") of its own. It could involve Naruto (because of Hinata), Sasuke (for clan politics) and even others. By developing these alternate relationships well, you'd end up with a richer story than if you just went with shallow harem effects.
Also realize that in line with the above, any "fault" will not necessarily lie with just the other party. Why make Neji and Hinata perfect little angels (c'mon, they're Hyuugas. Do Hyuugas look like perfect little angels to you?), when characters such as Naruto get reduced to cheating bastards? Sometimes, one or the other party just can't help himself. It's not necessarily because one is the ultimate incarnation of evil, often relationships just don't work out.
Sand and Glass by Ninjacat and At All Costs (M) by LadyLefaye for example are quite compelling NejiHinaNaru works.
You can even use OCs! Choices, by The Lady of the Willows, is (in my opinion) a good example. I actually felt sorry for the original characters: they did deserve better.
6. The world beyond
Don't you think it's a pity? NejiHina fics have done a good job exploring the possibilities of this relationships, and exploring the possibilities of the Hyuuga clan politics, while sometimes bringing in the rest of the cast to add to the relationship.
But if there's one thing I see very little of, it's the inclusion of Neji and Hinata into the greater universe of Shinobi.
Neji and Hinata are often portrayed as many things, including protector and heiress, but their lives during missions are rarely addressed. Maybe it's because the writers are more focused on their character and relationships or on their clan, but nonetheless I would have liked to see the greater world addressed.
Some fics do that. In The Return (find the rest of links in the recommendation list), Runespoor drops the two characters into the middle of a war between Konoha and Sound. It develops other characters as well, and throws in tidbits such as the involvement of civilians. In A Distance Erased, by Thursday-Kat, Hinata is set into the world of kunoichi. The aspect does not need much focus, but the little we're shown is enough to get a whole new perspective.
If you want some background inspiration, you can also read my Konoha history essay. Really, there's much to be read even in canon Naruto if you look in-between the lines, and that's not counting your own imagination.
Basically, describing whole missions isn't even necessary. But surely one can come up with a better way of making this lifestyle felt than "Neji goes out on a mission and comes back the next day. The end." Right? Even if the mission itself isn't described, at least the effects could be felt.
And what's with the lack of battle scenes in NejiHina fanfiction? :( Sure, they're hard to write well, but at least keep in mind the Hyuuga abilities. Some fics make it seem as though Neji and Hinata have both lost their Byakugans. Day in the Life, by Runespoor, set in the same universe as The Return, is one example of how a battle scene can be included (and actually not be bland and boring, as I've seen in too many other fics). Learn from it?
7. Ending notes on this section
Now you probably have an idea of just how much is left to explore.
Note, though, that unless you're an experienced writer, I don't recommending trying to simultaneously do All aspects in depth at the same time. If you can pull off great characterization in just two or three aspects, you'd already be well ahead of most writers. But good characterization takes work and planning, so keep that in mind. Don't just throw in everything out of the blue, because a good story needs good execution. See next section.
III. Execution of story
You've got the concepts and the characterization in mind, now all you have to do is string everything together and make it a story. To do that you... actually, I have no idea. *gets bricked*
Here's some possible advice though: start at the very beginning.
1. In-depth vs Parallel exploration
With NejiHina, you have two major choices: either think of one universe and explore it in as much depth as possible, or on the contrary flirt with a number of possibilities. Most of Sintari's fics for example are set in her Rosemary verse. Runespoor has a similarly deep Celebration verse. Hiasobi by contrast explores the multitude of possibilities, something Runespoor also does in her series of Had Hizashi Been the Older Son.
Which one do you think would fit your style better? What is it you prefer to emphasize? Do you have just one interpretation of the Naruto universe, but one so rich that you can go on about it forever? Or on the contrary, do you like to experiment with different concepts and environments?
2. Long stories, one-shots, drabbles
Some people try writing long fics without thinking about what they're capable of accomplishing first. This may be a mistake, as they later run out of ideas, and drag on the story without producing anything meaningful. Personally, I suggest trying to first evaluate what you have at hand, and what exactly you are trying to portray.
Do you have a whole universe to portray, with intricate plots and character interactions that can only be portrayed through multiple chapters? Or on the contrary, do you just have one very strong concept, and wish to bring it to life?
In the case of the latter, it might actually be more beneficial to write a one-shot, or even a drabble. Their brevity allows you to concentrate on the main idea you are trying to bring out. A good one-shot is thus better than a long dragged-out work. See Hiasobi's works: their brevity is actually an asset.
3. Know when to develop
If you merely explore a core concept in a drabble, you may focus on that and omit everything that comes before and after. Basically, rushing the characterization is a no, but when you are focusing on just one moment of their lives, it can easily be implied that many things came before that. But if the fic Is about the evolution of the relationship between Neji and Hinata, then you Do have to develop it.
First you'll have to decide when to get it started. Do you start by describing the relationship when they were 3 and 4, or do you start right after the chuunin exams? Scented Candle's The Logical Conclusion places the beginning at a time when the two have already become close to each other, after a good explanation of how they came to this point.
After that though... You have to go from point A to point B and the best way to do it usually isn't a straight line. Have progress, setbacks, obstacles and the lot. There is actually More appeal when something is developed slowly. One of the most popular SasuHina fanfictions is Renoa Heartilly's Torn, and it takes 20 chapters for the two characters to get anywhere!
For NejiHina, there's Rosemary for Remembrance of course. But this gradual development can also be seen in shorter stories, namely Hiasobi's The Days Passing By, as well as the hints in The One Dream.
4. Know when to skip it
Rushing characterization = no.
Being selective in what you portray = yes.
One thing that annoys me with NejiHina fics is the repetitiveness of so many new ones. You don't have to re-write Hinata's reaction upon her getting the curse seal every time, and you don't have to re-write Hinata's reaction to an arranged marriage every time, especially if you can't think of anything better than Hinata bawling her eyes out. Unless you have a great well-written original concept to back it up, you can skip the scene and focus on the aftermath. If you don't have that much to say in the first place, do a one-shot.
In A Method to her Madness, for example, we didn't even get an explanation to what happened to Hinata: the consequences speak for themselves, allowing the reader to focus on the disturbing quality of the tea scene. In Runespoor's The Return, the author didn't have to repeat everything that had happened to Hinata in the Sound, she just described enough to give us an idea of Hinata's mentality, and that was that. In her Day in the Life, we never even get a description of Neji or Hinata's thoughts, just the observation through a confused third party. In concept-centric drabbles such as Sunfreak's Learning how to Breathe, it would have been quite pointless to complain about the "lack of development."
Similarly, in Rosemary for Remembrance, Sintari skips entire sections of the character lives, instead focusing on crucial moments of their lives while letting the readers fill in the blanks. It would have been boring, if she had to rewrite the chuunin exams, and every day of their lives. In Fallen Heights (which apparently isn't really a pairing-centric fic, but does focus on Neji and Hinata), the writer doesn't mind skipping entire years either, because the most crucial elements can always be described in a flashback, or simply be felt in the consequences.
And if the best excuse you can think of for writing a smut scene is "Neji is having a bad hair day so he decides to rape Hinata," then maybe you should stop attempting to give such bad excuses and simply get on with it. *cough* But please, write a good one, and try to include at least Some original concept.
5. Points of view
I've noticed that many people tend to use a general point of view and go with that, but a bit more thought on your choice of point of view can add to the story immensely.
Basically, third person descriptions can take on several forms, including:
- a general, omniscient point of view, which describes basically everything
- and a perspective that's written in third person, but that closely follows the perception of just one person present
In the case of the last one, the choice of just whose thoughts you are portraying may benefit your story in many ways, including:
- deepening the reader's immersion into the scene, by making him see through the eyes of one of those present
- offering an alternate point of view on an otherwise simple or overdone scene
- making use of "the unsaid," thus opening up a whole range of effects
When choosing this, Don't describe the thoughts of the other characters beyond what the chosen one is capable of observing!
In Rosemary for Remembrance, when the story follows Hinata's point of view, we don't get access to Neji's thoughts, and vice-versa. In Runespoor's Day in the Life, we see all the scenes through the eyes of the OC, and we never, ever, get a glimpse of the thoughts of Neji and Hinata. In Hiasobi's loss and in Runespoor's Upholding Traditions, we see the story entirely through the eyes of Hiashi.
This tunnel vision allows one to obtain a much more powerful and varied effects than if the reader had access to everybody's thoughts.
Likewise, a judicious choice of points of view may allow you to deftly manage scenes that are otherwise difficult to write for a number of reasons (reasons including: it's boring and overdone). If you have to mention Hinata's sealing process for example, you may want to shift to a general point of view that summarizes the part instead of writing for the n-th time how Hinata breaks down, or you may give the reader a completely different take on the occurrence by shifting to another person's perspective. For example, instead of describing the event through the eyes of Hinata or Neji, how about announcing the event through the thoughts and reactions of her teammates, of her sensei, even of more distant characters such as Iruka? How they muse about the differences between the Hyuugas and their own family, and how they feel anger when Hinata shows up one day with the bandages to her forehead?
To my experience, successful long fics tend to alternate between points of views to greatly enrichen the reader's perspective on the story. The first step is to realize that such possibilities are open to you.
6. Long fics: overall planning method
... no idea. *gets bricked*
From my observations though, a successful long fic is not an endless continuation of the characters talking about nothing important, but a calculated succession of the following:
- crucial scenes in Neji and Hinata's lives. They're not just any scenes: they're ones that offer a glimpse of their evolving characters and relationship. They're there for a reason.
- interactions or perceptions from other characters, which offer a wider vision of the occurrences, either by reminding us that there's a whole world outside, or by offering alternate views of the NejiHina relationship. As I've said, make use of varying points of view to give a richer perception to the story.
- in-depth explanations of either the Hyuugas or the world at large. For example, Sintari at several times elaborates the destiny of the Hyuuga woman. Runespoor in The Return offers insights on the shinobi life.
Many so-so fics don't even do a good job of the first point, and forget everything else...
Also, as Kaiyrah notes, there is almost always no meaning to the story if a character doesn't gain something from his/her experiences. Neji is promoted to Anbu, Hinata dies, Neji becomes clan head. Then what? The very essence of most NejiHina fanfics is the characterization: the trials and experiences of both characters as they muddle through their environment, their successes but also failures. When you write an occurrence in a long fic, it must be for a reason: what does the scene show? What has changed?
Basically, writing a good long fic is far from easy. You have to have enough elements at hand to give meaning to every section: good luck.
IV. Beauty of descriptions
Have you ever read that one scene, that one Line, that makes you go "Wow" and that you remember long after you've read the story?
Personally, I still remembered the drowning scene in Rosemary for Remembrance days after I've read it, visualizing that beautiful moment over and over, even imagining the water closing over my own head.
In Runespoor's Day in the Life, the line that keeps flashing in my mind is "She moves in geta." What better way to express the horror faced by the enemy nin?
And in It Falls to Words, Neji's announcement to Hinata left me grinning for quite a while.
The beauty of descriptions alone can even carry a whole drabble. This is the case, for example, of Sintari's Beyond Compare.
You must have realized that a good writer isn't just about filling up an amount of space. Just like with art, the good writer goes over a scene over and over until the effect is perfect, pondering on every feeling, every word. Such a writer puts more time and effort into a few lines than a bad writer does into whole pages of bad spelling and thoughtless characterization. But as a result, a single scene from that author will forever have a stronger impact than the pages that the bad writer tries to fill up.
That one scene, that one line, is the highlight of the fic that will remain in the reader's mind long after everything else is forgotten. That one moment is what can cause the shift between a mediocre fic and one that leaves a lasting impression, as all the other lines get forgotten but that one scene remains (though... please do a good job with the rest as well). That one moment can define the whole story.
1. Show vs tell
Read Sintari's tip on show vs tell.
Read it again.
If there's anything in this guide that can improve your writing skills Immensely, it's Show vs Tell. In fact, I suspect that just adopting Show vs Tell would shift your mentality in a way that will help you improve on many other aspects as well.
Show vs Tell is particularly suited to NejiHina. Both Neji and Hinata are relatively quiet people. The Hyuugas, in general, seem to be introvert people who won't loudly declare their feelings. Instead, the emotions are muffled, and can only be observed through very subtle reactions and effects. Hinata won't start yelling "F*ck you daddy! You're a meanie jerk!" Instead her shoulders will tremble and her nails will dig into her palms. Neji won't start saying "Hey Hinata you're looking hot! Let's go get some action!" Instead he will avert his eyes to hide his shame from Hinata.
This can generate a feeling of claustrophobia that is actually well-suited to the closed Hyuuga environment.
Here are a few corollaries of Show vs Tell:
2. Focus on a theme or object
Instead of filling pages of internal monologue (*yawn*), use the settings around the character to bring out an effect. Sintari's Rosemary for Remembrance is full of such examples, from the subtle actions of the characters, to the description of the theme of water, to the focus on simple objects that tell a whole history in themselves.
In Day in the Life, Runespoor does a very selective description of Hinata's attire. She doesn't do so for the sake of a fashion commentary, but to express the bewilderment of the enemy shinobi. The effect is certainly a lot more powerful than the enemy going "Wtf her speed is 4.5/5!"
In A Method to her Madness, the author never gives us direct access to Hinata's thoughts, instead focuses on the tea. In Solitary Bygone, CelticDaemonWitch was able to express Hinata's troubled thoughts through a brush. A brush!
Think of how You would normally observe a character's sentiments: it certainly isn't by listening to the person's monologue. Instead you deduce the mood through observation of the surroundings and actions.
3. Descriptions Must serve a purpose
Aka you're not the weather man. Don't describe the weather save for that one element that betrays the character's emotions. You're not the fashion man either. Don't describe the character attires save for that one element that stands out, such as Hinata's geta in Runespoor's fic. I've read a bunch of fics where the author goes on and on about the attire an OC is wearing, and quite frankly they make me want to go to sleep.
4. Use the unsaid
People aren't stupid. If something is obvious enough, then you don't need to shove it down their throats. It is enough for a person to walk in on a room in disarray, with the other person huddled in the corner. You do not need to write the actual scene where the person goes crazy, or write that "The person is feeling distraught."
In Rosemary for Remembrance, Neji notes the likely interaction between Naruto and Hinata merely through the little things. More explanations aren't needed.
5. Pace
Finally, there are a variety of literary to set the pace. Ones I've observed include:
- build-up: the clues gradually add up until the big moment. Hiasobi's The Days Passing By, or Sintari's Beyond Compare.
- contrast: Learning how to Breathe. In Day in the Life, the contrast between the frantic enemy shinobi and Hinata's calm demeanor.
- alternation: the epilogue of Rosemary for Remembrance. The super-imposed points of view sets a rather unique pace.
- banality, followed by an unexpected downfall, catching the reader off-guard. Sintari's rather creepy Love Story.
Try to use these and more (but be careful about execution) in order to give the right pace to your story, thus bringing out the individual moments even more.
6. Humor
Humor is perhaps the one category where the descriptions don't really have to be "beautiful," but structurally there are points in common: you have to set the right pace, and you have to find the right lines and concepts. Well... how you choose to express humor is up to you.
C. Conclusion, the hardest part: putting it all into execution
Ideally, unless it's a heck of a short drabble and a heck of a powerful concept, then you should try to succeed on no less than two of the mentioned categories. Usually, strength of concept goes hand in hand with the beauty of its description, and good characterization is only possible thanks to flawless execution, though other combinations are possible. Try to succeed on at least two or three points of at least two categories.
And if you're able to simultaneously master three aspects, or even four, then you're a god. Congratulations. Please link me to your fic! Though if you need me to tell you all this, you'll probably need practice first (practice makes perfect, including with writing!).
That said, if these rules were enough to get fics out of you, then I'd be writing fics too! *gets bricked*
These advice are just starters. The imagination (and tedious execution afterwards) is up to you. You can always practice concepts and beauty of descriptions by making short drabbles or scenes for yourself and pondering over and over how to make them sound best. Or you can think up scenarios and characterizations for the characters and the world around them. All this will add up to a pool of possibilities from which you can draw when you want to create something more complicated.
Happy writing! (Though I suspect the NejiHina fandom isn't getting a revival anytime soon. Ah well. Who wants to bet that the majority of the NejiHina fandom left no longer has the attention span to read this particular essay? XD )