Today I mailed in my investigation package to CHP. Now comes the fun part. I'm both excited and scared. I feel I'm ready for a new beginning, but the thought of letting go of everything (AGAIN) terrifies me. I guess that's life.

In other news, I might actually take a vacation soon.

Isn't Christmas when you're supposed to be able to TAKE A BREAK, sit back, and ruminate over the last year, or your life, or whatever it is you choose to ponder? This holiday season is making my head spin. I feel I have SO MUCH going on, and I just don't have time for it all ( Read more... )

-I passed the CHP physical ability test.
-I now have 10 days to complete a background package that details the last 7 years of my life.
-I had the most amazing and fun night out on Saturday.
-Christmas is coming. The prospect of spending it alone makes me sad.
-Life is changing. Fast. CHP seems like it may be a reality, and soon. I'm both happy and

Okay, it was a warning for expired insurance, but still...I WROTE A TICKET. THAT was BADASS. I got back into the car when what I really wanted to do was jump up and down screaming "THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME ( Read more... )

...I tell myself to survive, to keep going.

Iron body, iron mind, open heart. Stay hard, keep moving, stay connected. Let go, stop resisting.

Surrender
Forgiveness
Compassion
LOVE

/I'm drunk and I'm feeling down/
/And I just want to be alone/
/I'm pissed that you came around/
/Why don't you just go home/

/Our scars remind us/
/That the past is real/
/I tear my heart open/
/Just to feel/

I need a fresh start, and I need it now.

Sometimes I feel like such a fuck up. Like I'll be paying for the mistakes of my youth for the rest of my life.

Today is the 229th birthday of the United States Marine Corps.

Of all the things I'll ever do, of all the titles I'll ever earn, nothing could possibly make me prouder than my right to say this:

I am a United States Marine.

Tonight I baked pumpkin seeds. Mmmmm, pumpkin seeds. The end.

I was looking over my CHP application stuff today and saw that the projected date for qualifications appraisal interviews is November 8th. I panicked because I haven't received a letter stating whether I passed the written test yet. I'm sure it's because of my change of address. Anyway, I called CHP, and I passed the written, and my interview is on ( Read more... )