I'm in the hospital psych ward arts and crafts room right now. I almost killed myself. I feel like I'm in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's nest.

I can't sleep at all.
Everytime I almost do, I have a dream where she says she doesn't love me anymore, and it wakes me up.

And then I wonder what it all meant.

Everything just makes me so miserable right now ( Read more... )

Joy.
I envy you who have it.
If no one felt any at all,
I'm not sure I'd care,
Only I don't have my own, 
Only  feeling left is regret,
And an eerie sense of apathy.
And now reality sets in.

I miss you.

Gravel on my cheek,
I trip on my carelessness,
it's hard to stand up.

Everytime, I do,
not by a virtue of mine,
but a fear of the ground.

A moment from now,
I'm not quite sure I'll bother.
Fuck it. I don't care.

This is the first time in a long time I've felt this way ( Read more... )

I'm really really tired, but I'm going to make this as lucid as possible ( Read more... )

You could have it all ( Read more... )

With every passing day, I realize more and more that I don't deserve her.

I hate this feeling.