I've been terrified recently that Billy and I will not be able to work through the problems we have and move forward in our relationship but I've done some research and it seems like going through a "power struggle" stage is normal in most relationships. The relief I feel is amazing, I feel so much lighter knowing that our relationship isn't ( Read more... )

i got out of bed and got dressed. he stayed in bed with his face pressed into the pillow ( Read more... )

i love billy so much more than i thought i would or could...it hasn't been that long and i'm scared this is only the honeymoon period but we have been through so many hardships already and the fact that we can grow together during trying times makes me feel good about the direction things are going in.

I haven't read my old journal entries in a long time, some of them I don't even remember. Parts of it are hard to go back to, like seeing an old scar and remembering how scared you were when it was new and wouldn't stop bleeding. Even the nice parts are kind of sad, knowing that I might not ever feel that way again. One entry simply reads "rachel ( Read more... )

I did acid with Alex last friday, it was crazy. I thought everything was hilarious. We watched The Beatles' Yellow Submarine and it made perfect sense. We fed the ducks and played in the mud and got scared of the hail. I didn't get a lot of visuals but I was really aware of tripping and I thought it was funny that I was doing regular things like ( Read more... )

i drank absinthe with Rachel and Sergei from Gogol Bordello
i am making efforts to get a chest corset
i am single again, brandon ended it about 6 weeks ago
and
i think i'm a sex addict

i'm not going back to school, i'm working at the fucking olive garden. i have no idea what i want to do, i'm grasping at straws to get away from pharmacy as soon as possible. my parents don't like me, i have no idea how to fix that. i really just need someone to pretend to love me and care about me and be ok with me the way i am instead of the way ( Read more... )

just a quick update so i can seal this memory in the vaults. i saw gogol last night and got on stage right before 60 revolutions and made out with Eugene Hutz. just grabbed his face and went for it, to which he responded by grabbing my ass! whoooooooo, it pretty much made my life.

my parents are going to flip out, but i guess it could be worse...

i should have just trusted my instincts...

i totally just got lost in the internet and ended up here. that is a very strange coincidence. maybe this is fate...ok now i have to update, since fate went to the trouble of tricking me into it ( Read more... )