There is a church ceremony for my grandmother tonight, followed by another church ceremony tomorrow and her funeral. I suspect it will be very heavy and emotional for me, even more for my father and the more involved family ( Read more... )

My grandmother passed away Monday night, around half past eleven. My father and I had even discussed during dinner whether or not I wanted to come to see my grandmother once more, he seemed to suggest that he'd like that. But in the end I'm glad I didn't go, because I would've been there the whole night and I would've seen her die, and I realise ( Read more... )

My grandmother who had been suffering from Alzheimer for years is dying. Monday she had a bleeding in her brains & now she cannot eat and drink as well anymore. That means she'll probably die beause of that. It hasn't felt like being in contact with her for years now, it even feels like I never really knew her that well. She got Alzheimer when I ( Read more... )

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Talking from underneath the blankets is one of those cozy things that I love. Being close to eachother and share little things, little secrets. I feel at ease now. This afternoon I had the feeling that it was vacation already, although I still have a day in school left. It really feels like I need this break, to develop other sides of myself. To ( Read more... )

I once again agreed with Thijs to take better care of myself & to finally start eating healthy a little. I promised him and I cannot lie + I find it hard to break promises, so there we go.. I'll have to eat a lot more tomorrow ( Read more... )

I feel weird lately. I really can't explain what it is that I'm feeling, it's just kind of.. there. And with my head that hurts & my dad screaming to go away and get some dinner and all circumstances.

Where is everybody's head & mind lately?

I miss dancing in the rain while forgetting that I'm getting wet. I miss cycling through the streets, dancing, singing on my bike like I don't care. I miss being spontaneously open about things ( Read more... )

I have a headache and I'm sleepy. Friends are running away from me, or I don't know. People I trust, people I got along with for 4 years & then something changes. It feels like everyone is pushing everyone else away. During classes, during breaks, I don't have a clue what's going on anymore ( Read more... )

*sigh ( Read more... )