Thijs has someone new, and I do not know how to feel. I mean I was over him, I was feeling strong, and I still felt that way when he told me, but then.. Somehow now I have some sadness getting over me. And just today I realised that I miss him, well, what he was, or what he meant to me, but also just who he is, I don't know. And I miss being loved ( Read more... )

I talked to Thijs again yesterday, he was pretty friendly. When I said that even though my voice sounded like I was crying, I was doing pretty well lately. And he said he believed so too, that it was more my voice than how I really felt and that I needn't be nervous to talk to him. He let me read something he had written for me when we were still ( Read more... )

It's hard to write when you don't know how you feel. I write entries in my head, but mostly that's when I'm upstairs. I've come to appreciate my room more.

I found my muse back. But I'm not ready to write a goodbye-song, so I'm trying to forget the words. It doesn't feel of any use to write a song at the moment, I always wanted it to be a song for him. The first one. A song to show him how I feel and how special he is to me. And it would be a song like that, but he wouldn't appreciate it as he should ( Read more... )

Sometimes I just don't know if I can go through this again. I know I have to. But I don't know if I can. I lived on the dreams I had in mind. The things I wanted to do in the future. I lived and feltlike a flower every time something happened that I had always dreamt of. The last months he used to be the boyfriend I always dreamt of. I wonder if I ( Read more... )

Ik zou niet voor je moeten leven, maar ik leef wel voor je. Bij alles wat ik doe, denk ik: wat zou thijs vinden? als ik dit nu eens aan thijs geef? Als ik dit nu eens zo doe ( Read more... )

Like a heartbeat
drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering

What you had &
what you lost..

What is it with me and my friends lately? I know they're nice people, and I really appreciate what they have done for me when I'm in a bad time, or just the times we spend together. But sometimes I feel a large need for some space. It's like I'm supposed to do certain things.. Like spend every break with them, or walk to every class with them ( Read more... )

The computer has a virus, it's bad because it can't even be turned on anymore. I miss being able to talk to some people online. It means I can't talk to Thijs on msn either and I miss him. I don't know, I'm trying to figure out a way to be able to see him this weekend, but I'm not sure if I'll succeed, because my weekend seems to be planned full, ( Read more... )

Thijs and I are doing really well, at least that's how it feels to me. The relationship we have feels closer & more open. I have always said that honesty and trust are one of the most important things in a relationship, and it's starting to grow more & more. It feels like we have a strong fundament to only build it up to become even better from ( Read more... )