In a related vein--the pattern of Dean letting those he loves beat him bloody without resistance to 'save' them. Can we say romanticizing domestic abuse?
You know, I hadn't framed it in exactly those terms but I think that's what bothers me about those scenes. Dean getting the shit kicked out of him by a monster is one thing-you can frame that as badass and heroic, but when it's someone he cares about, I can't watch it. At least partly because he just sits there and pleads and takes it. It's horrifying and sad. (for the record, I felt the same way about Dean beating the crap out of Sam in the Veritas ep, even if he was still soulless and probably earned it. DNW.)
Yes absolutely. It is shocking and more brutal to see that, than to see a monster (like Alastair for instance) beating Dean, because there is that element of surrendering to the violence which is so heartbreakingly wrong, yet so heartbreakingly Dean.
Right this moment my head is swimming with an overload of Dean thoughts. You say exactly those things that I kind of feel - have always felt - watching the series, only I could never put a finger on them, or summarize them even
( ... )
I agree with you on all counts, ESPECIALLY that last parenthetical, haha. But seriously. All I could think while watching that final car scene was, Wait, haven't I watched this scene over and over? Dean promising Sam he'll take care of him? It's tired, and it's truly depressing.
And so often, when I see gifs or graphics or whatever swooning over Dean's devotion to protecting Sam, I see it as a romanticization of Dean's trauma. It takes a very vulnerable part of Dean's character (his fear of abandonment) and applauds the way it has manifested itself in his personality.
This is so very on point, and something I wish the show would address in a manner more than Sam trying to get out from under Dean's protective bubble (because that's what it is when Sam tries to address it, he doesn't address it for Dean's sake, but for his own, you see this when he yells at Dean for not trusting him, for always treating him as the little brother. Not that I blame Sam for this, as he has his own pathologies, but, well. Okay, I totally blame Sam for it, because Sam has spent the last 8 seasons refusing to grow up. . . .)
Of course, it's reached the point where if anyone were to try to be that to Dean, he wouldn't recognize it or trust it, because it's so ingrained in him that that isn't something he gets to have.
I think the fact that Dean needs that kind of relationship is why I've always tried to ship him with everyone he comes across, because I'm looking for someone who will be what everyone else in his life hasn't been. And what you said about him not trusting it...it's like how he pushed away Lisa, because he didn't think he deserved a family like that or to be loved.
Absolutely. I definitely think he self-sabotages when he thinks he might get close to such a relationship, on a subconscious level. It's the whole "hurt them before they can hurt me" thing. He's convinced it will happen, so he makes it so. Going to Lisa's house as a vampire was, I think, very much about the possibility to say goodbye to her, but also about proving to himself that she couldn't be what he wanted most. Which, of course she couldn't, since he never TOLD her what was going wrong in the first place. . . .
Yup! And he does it with everyone, really. His belief that nobody could ever stand by him or love him as much as he loves everyone else is so deep set that he does things like keeping secrets and not putting everything out there so that he has a reason to close off when it doesn't work. Of course, all this stems from his deeply ingrained issues and losses, but it's so sad to see him perpetuate it himself and cause so many of his own troubles, on top of the effect Sam and Cas(and John and Bobby and everyone else who left) have on him.
Ahh, this is perfectly describing what niggles at the back of my mind whenever I see Dean put in the submissive protector/support mode. Mostly because I empathize so intensely with him because of my own past, but still. I enjoy all the episodes on a surface level, and really I did like the last episode, but as much as I like some things, they still sit oddly and I think you hit it exactly on the head why it does that. I just wish there was anything that would be done to help Dean get over it and to stop romanticizing the abuse and trauma. But I doubt it'll ever chance, because the roles they've set up for Sam and Dean are firmly set in place and probably will be 'till the end of the show.
Comments 17
Yeah.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
And so often, when I see gifs or graphics or whatever swooning over Dean's devotion to protecting Sam, I see it as a romanticization of Dean's trauma. It takes a very vulnerable part of Dean's character (his fear of abandonment) and applauds the way it has manifested itself in his personality.
Very well-put.
Reply
Of course, it's reached the point where if anyone were to try to be that to Dean, he wouldn't recognize it or trust it, because it's so ingrained in him that that isn't something he gets to have.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment