I wish i could say people in this town changed. Truth of the matter is people don't really change that much. People mature, people grow up, but for the most part, people remain the same. People still have the same attitudes, the same personalities, the same attributes..its stagnant. The quality of life here is honestly the same. The same bars, the ( Read more... )

"Say there's someone in your life, and you know you can't be in love with them, you don't really know them... Maybe you know that you're not really right for them... You *know* that whatever it is your feeling is really just an attraction towards an image of that person you've create in your mind?"

i want someone provacative and talkative, but it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower.

how could i ever be so deserving. i feel like he doesn't even know me. my past, my struggles. i only want someone to tell me it's going to be okay. i'm used to the usual hugs, and the un-ending, 'i'm sorry's'. but not prayer. not give it up to god. not, 'i pray jesus restores your heart and extinguishes your anger and replaces it with joy.' i get ( Read more... )

reading past entries makes me hang my head in shame, scoff at myself, wrinkle my nose with disgust, and scorn in anger. with a swift slap on the forehead, and a small chuckle, i realize a small pattern and relapse in a familiar cycle. wasn't it just months ago i was just writing about how much i hated geoff? how much i hated his bullshit lies and ( Read more... )

So much has happened the past 6 months, time seems at a standstill. One minute he's here talking about how proud he is of me, and the next...he's gone. Men in general have failed me in my life span of 20 years. Dad bailed when I was five, I've met my biological dad a few times, step-dad left to kuwaitt, boyfriends who have taken me for granted. My ( Read more... )

words can't describe how i feel at this very moment. feelings can't describe how i feel at this very moment. thoughts can't describe how i feel at this very moment, but tears sure can. whatever they mean ( Read more... )

for some reason, i attract bad luck and shitty events seem to stick to me like super glue ( Read more... )

Old habits die hard. But mine, die slowly. I can already tell what's going to happen. Being pessimistic by nature clearly has its perks. Yet it can totally ruin your life. The knot in my stomach hasn't went away since Friday. I try my best to keep busy, I try so hard to not think about it. It lingers. The pain, the unknown certainty. The what ifs, ( Read more... )

The look on his face immediately sent me into depression. A sudden corrupt mood change. Inevitable. "Are you okay?" I asked afraid that my question would push him into the tears apperaring to well up in his eyes. "Is it possible....to never be able to move on from your first love?" I hesitate. I know the answer. "Yes, it's possible. I haven't." He ( Read more... )