Comments | ialdabaoth: Tonight is weird.

ialdabaoth

Tonight is weird.

Feb 12, 2009 23:38

I'm oscillating rapidly between panic attacks and violent, uncontrollable rages. I'm sobbing, throwing up, then trying to pick fights with my roommates. I seem to have a complete lack of self-control over my behavior, except in very short bursts. Other than that, it feels like I'm watching an in-game cutscene.

Comments 7

n3rd3tt3 February 13 2009, 15:13:27 UTC

You really should go back to the psych guy and get some meds, Brent. Brain chemistry in remote balance is very useful.

rpgnet_else February 13 2009, 18:26:15 UTC

Agreed.

ialdabaoth February 13 2009, 21:26:02 UTC

been working on that, as much as possible. The "free clinics" are... problematic, primarily because I'm a young healthy white kid that's clearly trying to game the system to support my drug abuse habit.

the_leaking_pen February 14 2009, 05:04:45 UTC

aint racial profiling grand? sigh. hope things are calming down for you.

Times when i wsa having rage issues that big, i found that 2 by 3's or 2by4's and cinderblock walls made great stress reducers. just wear leather gloves so ou don't slice your hands open.

(The comment has been removed)

ialdabaoth February 14 2009, 02:14:14 UTC

That doesn't really help. I get anxious and panicked, but don't have the physical energy to act on it, so I sit in bed and whimper.

hypatiasghost February 17 2009, 19:09:29 UTC

Brent, if you are still in school, you can go to the counseling center at ASU for free. It's in the student services building on back campus, next to the "Discovery building" that has all the old scientist names carved on it.

The counselors can interview you about what's going on, and can make recommendations about treatment. Health services on the Tempe Campus can do drug prescriptions, or can refer you to a psychiatrist who will come to the Health center on campus to see you. And the counselors can do therapeutic work with you.

Drugs are cheap in the generic, and if you can't afford them they will figure out a way to get them to you for free.

If you are in school, you have a whole network of bureaucracy that's designed to support you and keep you in school and help you be successful. Please use it. You do not have to live like this.

ialdabaoth February 17 2009, 20:54:55 UTC

I already went to them; they worked with me for a bit, and then referred me outside, stating that there really wasn't anything further they could do. I maintained my external counselling appointments until I ran out of the ability to pay the copay.

And no, the on-campus counselors won't do therapeutic work with me.