The older I get, the less I understand holidays. Why not celebrate the people you love anytime you feel compelled? Asking questions to myself won't change anything, but it bugs the shit out of me that some people want to impose 'holiday' obligations on others because of how they believe they're supposed to feel and respond to said 'holiday'. Sunday ( Read more... )

can I tell you that I'm sad? I'm sad. It'll pass, though I shouldn't rush to be dismissive of my feelings. I'm sad today. Maybe it's the cold, maybe it's because I've been a little sick, and I'm just not used to being sick. I take care of myself - it's one of the few things I stick to.

I'm sad because I'm thinking about my future, and sometimes I ( Read more... )

going to see Propagandhi tonight. I haven't been to a good show since NOFX in 2016. Divorce and work and single-dadness made it difficult. Good planning this time around! And I'm gonna see the Pumpkins in July.

I should've jumped on the planning bandwagon a lot sooner than now. 

fuck symbolism. 

Yesterday, I took a couple personality tests - the 16 Personalities' version of the Myers-Briggs, and a DiSC assessment. I've taken the Myers-Briggs before and I almost always get similar results, which is usually INTJ, and every now and then, ENTJ. I'm apparently what some might call an 'ambivert'. I'm never sure how much stock to place into any ( Read more... )

How am I feeling today? Sad, for no good reason. Maybe this isn't sadness, maybe I get my emotions confused. Physically I just feel... tired. I feel crooked. I tried stretching - 10 straight minutes, so far. Sometimes that helps, sometimes it just reminds me of how off I usually feel. I feel as if I'm attempting to hold myself in place, in space ( Read more... )

The human side of religion - some of the morals "stuff", certainly not everything - makes a little bit of sense to me. I believe that overall, considering I'm here and somewhere around 7 billion other people are here, right now, that there is and has been some compulsion to treat others kindly, or like most animals, something instinctual that ( Read more... )

I'm where I never thought I'd be, and I don't mean that I ever ruled out the life I have; I literally never had the vision of right now, as it is, as I am. And by "never", I'm definitely referring to the me of years past. The me of the last post, and all the ones before it.

I'm still writing as if someone is reading. I realize that's likely not ( Read more... )

eight years ago, I was thinking about eight years ago. 

I'm going in circles. I need to separate then from now. I need to separate fantasies from dreams. I get stuck so much in places and faces and times I'll never see again. I do feel like a different person, but I wish I had understood myself a little more. I wish I had had more control. But these are the fantasies. I need to wake up and be here, now ( Read more... )