Anyone have a tarp I can borrow? I only need it for a few days, to keep the mess off the floor when I CUT MY FUCKING STOMACH OPEN

There is a God, and his singular purpose in life is to keep me from graduating college.

Ok, so my bank is full of shit. They started charging me overdraw charges when I bought a pack of cigerettes with my debit card. I had 145 dollars still in my account, [b]according the the printout of my transactions they sent me[/b]. They then proceede to charge me 25 dollars for every single transaction I have made since. Net result, I owe ( Read more... )

So, minutes after banging out a term paper in two careless hours, I managed to lose the cap to the milk, somehow, under a burner on the stove. It's like it just passed through it. Thus, I am amazed and sickened by myself, simultaneously.

The following conversations took place between 10:00 PM and 10:03 PM ( Read more... )

Ugh. The warm is nearly upon us. I hate the big warm. The little warm isn't so bad, but it's filled with the dispair of knowing the big warm is coming. Not like the little cold, where it just gets better. It's presence permeates. Not just the ambient temperature. You can smell it. The hint of artificially cold air. I hope the apartment is ( Read more... )

Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them.
Some people are only alive because I didn't have my knife on me at work today.

/Not a fan of violence against women.

With three short sentenes, silver maks sense and my furious and irrational hatred is dispelled.

Well, hat confirms it. Harlan was fucking incompetent.

A part of me died tonight. So I will just cling to the most logical thing I can conceive of right now.

My mammal sauce is the best mammal sauce
I spread mammal sauce on my wang.
We make mammel sauce,
in Bill Willaims loft.
And we eat a bucket of Tang.

"Hey you, don't scratch the chrome. And I counted the pennies on the dash!"

Considering the new plan, I think a Zompocalypse is the best thing that could happen to me now. It'll be so great.

Say Ong-Bak today. It was amazing. That guy could do things with his knees and elbows I could barely conceive of. Two thumbs up.

Late night commercials are nought but phone sex with nary e'en a Girls Gone Wild informercial to break the tedium.