Fic: "Just one of those stories...“ Part 2 Back to school?, Jared/Jensen, PG-13
Fic title: "Just one of those stories...“ Part 2 Back to school?
Author: the_milky_way
Genre: RPS AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4.491
Beta: Thanks so much for the beta services and the suggestions joans23
Disclaimer: This story is fictional (not real, didn't happen). Not true in any way. I don't own anything.
Notes: written for schmoop_bingo, Prompt: Wild Card at my schmoop_bingo card.
Find Part 1 can be found here but it also can be read as a stand-alone.
It was also written for the "Back to school" prompt at notjustroomates.
For enablelove and everyone else who loves grumpy!Jensen.
Summary: Jensen doesn't really know how not to be grumpy, he also doesn't really know if going back to school is the best idea right now. What does know though is, that he really needs to talk to Jared about it all. Only, for some reason, he doesn't and things are kind of stuck. Okay, and he might be a little pre-occupied with staring at Jared as well. Who can blame him?
Summer is almost over. Just a week of camp left and things are a little wild all around. Then it will be back to school and back into real life, away from the rainbow world of summer camp, new friends and summer loves.
Dramas over dramas. Relationships ending, friendships being reassured through oaths of keeping in contact, kids freaking out over packing and seeing old friends again. Just the usual end of camp hysteria.
So all in all, the same as always
Jensen is kept busy by the last bouts of cabin fever, tries to keep the nerds separated from the usual hi-jinks the teens get up to when they think the counselors are tired and won’t notice anyway. Misha and Danneel prove them wrong every time. Jensen doesn’t smirk with glee when some of the football jocks are caught drinking again and get send to Camp Pride for the alcohol counseling the guys over there hold every Tuesday.
Jensen also doesn’t smirk with glee when one of Mike’s cheerleaders ends up throwing a hissy fit of epic proportions when Mike tells her that there is no way she’ll spend the last two nights at the camp across the lake. Jensen just takes his book, looks down at his sleeping little geeks-in-training and plants himself on the porch to read the last chapter.
He’s waiting for Jared to show up.
Together they have developed some kind of routine. Whenever one of them can get out of the night watch, they’ll meet at the other’s camp. It’s worked for weeks without them really doing anything more than talk. And Jared really can talk a lot. But then Jensen actually likes listening to him, to his stories, to his wishes and his fears. If that makes him a love struck fool like Mike likes to point out then he doesn’t really care. Not that he’s been listening to Mike all that much lately anyway.
He admittedly was kind of occupied with a giant dork that goes by the name of Jared.
Jared and him… well they are kind of stuck in that awkward stage of trying to get to know each other with a lot of people around, a lot of distractions and disturbances and with not much time to achieve anything but some sort of acquaintance. Jensen thinks he’s never flirted this long and hard without really scoring. Okay, so he’s maybe a little frustrated here, with himself and with Jared. Mainly with the whole situation and the fact that he isn’t all that far away from being like one of Mike’s teen drama queens, crying over a lost summer love.
If he’s honest he’s exactly like them. He’s frustrated and trying not think about the ‘after camp’ time and how or if they’ll be able to stay in contact. Everything is so uncertain that it almost drives literally Jensen up a tree.
And Jared isn’t doing anything but ramble, smile his awesome sparkly smile (shut up, Misha implanted that sparkly stuff in his brain and he’ll pay for it, Jensen swore that much) and be his dorky, adorable self. Sometimes he’s too much to deal with and Jensen just skips out, out of the conversations and sometimes even completely out of the whole meeting.
He’s hurt Jared several times already but he’s always been able to make it up to him. The man’s addiction to candy and Jensen’s apologetic smiles are well known amongst the three camps around the lake. Yes, they are gossip topic number one. And Jensen’s pretty sure he caught Misha and Danneel taking bets, too. He just hasn’t dared to ask how much’s in the pot yet.
So Jensen is rather clueless how to go about things with Jared and he thinks that Jared might have the same problem. Despite the fact that they talk so much they are surprisingly bad at communicating the right things it seems.
He knows where Jared will be, going right back to school, to sophomore year and to his life before camp. Jensen… well Jensen is kinda hanging in the air right now. But he’s not ready to think about it yet. Jared is so tempting, so sure about what he wants and wants to do that Jensen feels a little inadequate compared to that.
Grad school looms big and not all that enticing on the horizon and all he wants to do is go back to his things, be done with school and move somewhere far, far away.
But then grad school might also mean being close to Jared, which Jensen isn’t sure is the right thing to want, the right thing to base his decision on. Their relationship isn’t that far along yet, not by any means.
The thing is that he doesn’t know what he wants to do. Well, there is something, but that has nothing to do with school or finding a job or his professional life at all.
So he’s sitting here waiting and trying to finally finish the damn novel he’s had with him all summer and barely got the chance to read. Of course there were Jared and the kids eating up his time, and it’s not like he really cares. It’s just that Jensen never thought time could really fly like that.
He tries not to think... too much at least. He won’t find the right solution now anyway. He’s been trying for weeks and never goes beyond knowing that another few years of school might not be what he actually wants, but might mean he won’t end up sitting at home alone and thinking about Jared miles away.
Jensen isn’t even sure where this is coming from, how Jared has managed to worm his way into his life without Jensen really noticing. He’s just caught himself several times lately including Jared into his future plans. Jensen has no clue what’s going on with him right now.
Not knowing makes him grumpy. So much so that even Mike has picked up on it, rubs it in every chance he gets. And if Jensen hears one more hint that Jared might not even let him into his pants something very bad will happen. It’s not all about sex. Well, maybe just a little bit.
The book rests open on his knees and his coffee is cold already when Danneel drops down on the step next to him. She doesn’t say a word for a while and Jensen actually gets some reading done, loses himself in the book and is kind of grateful that Danneel’s presence alone can calm him down so considerably.
They’ve known each other for years, started High School together and camp as well. He’d even go as far as to call her his best friend if Chris hadn’t threatened him with the evocation of his Kane membership card. And Jensen actually likes all the amenities touring with Chris and Steve brings him. So Danneel is just his second best friend but secretly they all know that she is the only one who can really kick his ass. Jensen kind of has the feeling that this will be one of those moments. And maybe he needs it.
“Freaking out, huh?”
Oh, they’ve had this talk before. Several times. And he’s yet to do what she wants him to do. Take the first step and talk to Jared. Only, he knows he’s shit with emotional talks, and it clearly will be one, knowing Jared and all. So Jensen might just be a tiny bit scared that he’ll screw it all up by saying the wrong thing, or saying the right things in the wrong way. It’s not like he had to do something like this before.
The last relationship he had that was longer than a few weeks was back in high school and it was a secret one on top of it. So not really the best example to go by and base this future talk with Jared on. Instead of just taking the plunge like Danneel wants him to, Jensen has let Jared ramble on and on about his love for “Hello Kitty”. And yes, Jensen actually cracked up for half an hour during that talk. Jared wasn’t too pissed. Well, he wasn’t anymore when he got the chance to trip Jensen into the cold lake after sundown.
“No idea what you are talking about. Just trying to finally finish this book.”
Danneel snorts, shakes her head and snatches the book away.
“Hey.”
“Come on Jenny, I know you are just trying to avoid making a fool of yourself. But honey, that train left ages ago.”
If he didn’t like her so much, he’d get up and leave right now. And well, he didn’t know exactly what she’d do if he tried to leave. He loves his balls just a little bit too much to let her such a clear shot at them.
“Thanks a lot, Danni. That really, really helps to build my confidence and make me do what you want me to do. Not.” He knows it’s an unattractive look on him but he can’t help the pout. It usually works on her, but it doesn’t this time judging from the stern look she gives him. The moon’s bright in the dark sky despite it being only half full, but Jensen can see Danneel and her hard looks just fine.
“How are things supposed to go now, Jensen? That boy is so gone for you. Everyone can see that.” She really doesn’t have to remind him, even though he still has a hard time believing it. Ever since the Ferris Wheel stunt Jared pulled for him despite his fear of heights Jensen had known that there was something between them. But then things got stuck in this awkward back and forth and they never really made it past that first stage of flirting.
“Yeah. God, Danni, I know. But how am I supposed to know what comes next when I’m not even sure where I’ll be in a week?” Jensen flinches at how desperate he sounds. That’s not him and he can’t believe that Jared has gotten under his skin like this. So much that Jensen is seriously thinking about his future for the first time in months.
“Oh Jensen. Just.. talk to him. Might be easier than you think.”
She might be right. Doesn’t mean he knows how to do it.
***
Jensen’s way too busy during the next few days to really give any of it more thought. Drama breaks out all over the place and Jensen, more than once, has to break up fights, dry tears or mop puke up from the floor .
Yes, he’ll be so damn glad when this is over. And so very, very depressed when it is. He really does feel like one of the camp kids these days, with Jared’s campus address and home address tucked safely away in his day planer. For later use of course. Jared’s phone numbers are all stored in his cell phone and his in Jared’s. So really, nothing can go wrong now.
Only, they still haven’t talked about it at all yet. Jensen had approached the exchanged of numbers and addresses with his usual wit and sarcasm, not taking it too serious. Jared had been somewhat subdued ever since.
They still meet up but the days are dwindling and Jensen is still as clueless as he was a few days ago.
Jared’s sitting next to him this evening. Silent, unusually so. The sun’s about to vanish behind the trees and the light is somewhat eerie, but fitting for the situation though. Jensen has never been tongue-tied before, but then he never really had so many important questions to ask and decisions to make before either.
He awkwardly rubs the sore spot on his arm and huddles a little closer to Jared, feels the warmth seep through his jeans where they are touching. It’s so much like the Ferris Wheel, only Jared’s not frozen in fear and isn’t constantly apologizing either.
“Jen?” Jared’s voice makes him jump. So much that he slides of the log they’re sitting on and bumps his head hard against it on his way down.
“Shit. Jen? You alright? God… I’m sorry.”
See? There? This is what Jensen has missed the last couple of days. Jared posing an immanent threat to his health and then doing everything he can to make it up to Jensen. There are big but gentle hands on his arms, dragging him up, slowly and carefully. Stars in front of his eyes make it kind of difficult to focus but then Jensen just lets himself lean against Jared. It’s comfortable, and his head thanks him for not moving too much.
“Am fine,” he mumbles.
The same gentle hands that had just been on his arms are now moving slowly over his head, comb through his hair. Feeling for blood, Jensen realizes and doesn’t even deny that his chest warms with the realization. This is so Jared. For all that he flirts back Jared is rather shy when it comes to real intimacy. But then, Jared is just 19 after all, not a virgin but not all that experienced either. Jensen shouldn’t find this fact as hot as he does.
And they haven’t even kissed yet. He knows almost all of Jared’s life story, knows about his family and friends, about school and his favorite books, music, movies. Knows about Jared’s sex life.
He doesn’t know how Jared tastes and it bothers Jensen right now. Bothers him a lot.
And really, Jensen has never been one to let a chance like this pass by, even if he’s been behaving like a colossal idiot lately.
His lips move against warm skin, he feels Jared shiver and hears him squeak a little, but he doesn’t move away. Jared stays were he is and Jensen smiles.
“Jen?”
“Hmmm?” His lips vibrate against Jared’s throat and Jensen shivers in sympathy with Jared. It feels good, like he’s finally taking a step in the right direction, however small it might be.
“This... I… you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this. Well, okay, so basically since we met.. or you know since I spilled those slushies all over you.. I mean, man, have you seen your chest under a wet t-shirt lately? ‘Cause I gotta tell ya, it’s a damn fine sight… But you know we… I mean, I think we should maybe talk first? Uhm.. maybe?”
Despite his still slightly throbbing head and the shivers running down his spine triggered by Jared’s fingers still gently massaging his head, Jensen snorts and bites his lips to hold the laughter in.
“Are you laughing at me?” Jared doesn’t sound hurt, more like he’s amused and Jensen can’t hold it back anymore. He laughs, hard and long, all the while pressed against Jared. It feels good to just let go and feel safe. And it’s the first time he actually realizes he’s feeling like this; safe, warm, just good. Yes, he’s officially become one of the camp kids. And he so doesn’t care.
Jensen finally manages to shake his head no.
“Okay. Good. ‘Cause that would have been mean. I know that you can be grumpy as hell and snappy and all that. But you aren’t mean. ‘s why I like you. Yeah…”
Jensen has a really hard time not to start laughing again.
“Oh Jay… Oh.. just. You are way too adorable for you own good.”
“Am not.”
Jensen snorts
“Are, too.”
“Nope.”
“Yes. According too Danneel, you are.” Jensen lifts his head and smirks at Jared, feeling relieved at the smile he gets in return.”
“Since when are you listening to Danneel anyway?” Jared guides them back to sit on the log and Jensen mourns the loss of warmth against his cheek but he actually feels okay now, not dizzy anymore and sitting is way more comfortable anyway. For his foot at least, since Jake and Colin had thought it would be a good idea to tie a heavy bucket to the top of the door. Jensen’s foot hadn’t liked the idea at all.
It’s still warm out, even though the sun is finally gone. Just a thin red line visible at the horizon’s edge. The lights from the camps are reflected on the water of the lake.
Misha has taken over Jensen’s watch and Sophia took Jared’s, which is probably just her way to get Chad under control, or so Jared has tried to explain earlier. Jensen is kind of out of the loop when it comes to camp gossip since he’s become the subject of it himself. All he knows is what he gets from either Jared, Mike or the girl’s cliques whispering behind the cabins. Yeah, they are not as hidden as they’d like to think, much to Jensen’s delight.
“Jen?”
“Hmm?”
“Danneel? You listening to her? Are you sure you are okay?”
Oh right, there was a question but Jensen had gotten too distracted by how close Jared was again.
“Yeah, since she can actually kick my ass. And believe me, I so don’t want to experience that again.”
Jared laughs, deep and warm. Jensen wants to get used to it, wants to hear it every day.
“Do I want to know this story?”
“Maybe. But later.”
Jared smirks at him, makes it clear that he knows more than Jensen wants him to. And this is not good. Jared shouldn’t know this much about him already, but Jensen actually talked more those last few weeks than he did in years.
“Has it got something to do with you calling her boyfriend Boner every single time?”
“Uh... maybe?” How does Jared know those things?
“Why are you doing that anyway?”
“Fits. Hey, no… don’t look at me like that. I never saw it. Just his name, it’s easy to get it wrong. And well, I might have been drunk the first time but it was so damn hilarious to see his face. And hers. Never seen her blush like that.”
Jared tries not to burst, tries to hold the laughter in but he’s shaking with it. Jensen can feel every ripple of it against his side. And all he wants to do right then is climb into Jared’s lap and feel it even closer.
“God, you guys. I’ve never heard so many dirty and innuendo-ladden stories as during these camp weeks. You are corrupting minors, you know.”
“God, don’t remind me. I feel old enough already in your presence. Bad enough that I’m heading for grad school and you are just in your second college year. I feel geriatric compared to you, Padalecki,” Jensen grumbles, pushes Jared with his shoulder a little and smirks when Jared flails and has to work hard to not slide off the log himself. Payback is a bitch. Jared flailing is always a sight to behold. Jensen should know, he has bazillions of pictures on his cell proving it. Why? He has no idea.
“Awww Jen. It’s okay, you know? We all get old. You just a little faster than others.”
“Oh bite me.”
“Later. If you ask nicely.” Jared smirks but there is something in his eyes, something very close to a promise and Jensen knows they are both aware of it.
“Yeah. Remind me to,” Jensen says, almost doesn’t recognize his voice, rough and low. Is surprised to see what kind of effect it has on Jared and how Jared swallows hard when he sees Jensen looking.
“So? Uhm.. will you?”
“Will I what?” Jensen can admit that he’s a little confused right now. Because, hello, sexual tension and frustration very apparent here? Anybody? No? Jensen sighs.
“Go back to school. You.. well.. we haven’t talked about it. But.. I… thought you’d maybe.. well, I guess you aren’t so keen on grad school. Didn’t sound like it anyway, when you talked to Misha. And no, I wasn’t spying, was just in the next room with the crafts group,” Jared actually blushes, something he hasn’t done since the first few days of their awkward dance around each other.
“I.. well. I don’t know. It’s four more years and I’m not sure I want to. But I’m no sure what else I want to do, or could do. It’s just not there yet. I…” Jensen shrugs, looks at Jared as if the guy has the answer written on his face. Of course, he doesn’t.
“Just maybe.. I… I guess I can’t help you there.” Jared looks like he wants to say something else, something he knows won’t go over well and Jensen is curious. Suddenly Danneel’s voice is in his mind, telling him Jared might be able to help if he’d just talk to him. Jensen wonders if they are at the stage where they can influence each other’s lives like this.
“Spill it, Jay.”
“Huh?”
“You wanted to say something, so say it. I wanna here it. Might even be an option.”
“Uh, okay. But tell me if I’m way off…”
“Sure,” Jensen nods because they both know he will.
“So uh… I know you have a degree in education and you told me that you love to make music. Right? So uhm… my school, there is this prof and he is looking for grad students that would like to work with kids and music. Like a therapy thing? Have you ever thought about that?” Jared looks hopeful, like this is the best idea ever and Jensen just can’t bring himself to outright refuse. And the more he thinks about it, the idea actually sounds vaguely interesting. That’s more than he had so far.
“I’ll think about it. Okay?”
“That’s all I wanted. Jensen, I don’t need you to jump up and down and be all on fire for this. It’s just an idea I had and when you didn’t say anything I wasn’t sure if you even had a plan. Of course, it would be cool to have you close, but I… I wasn’t sure if you would want to. I mean, it’s not like we are… you know, together or as if anything happened. I mean, I’d love to have you as a friend, ‘cause you are awesome and all that. But judging from earlier, we’re actually on the same page and I.. well yeah, that would be cool, too.. so if.. hmpf.”
Because yes, Jensen finally figured out how to shut Jared up. And very effectively as well.
It’s a short kiss, fast and needy, desperate but still gentle in so many ways. Jared’s holding Jensen’s face, something Jensen never liked before but now he feels himself melting into Jared’s touch. He’s already established how pathetic he is, so Jensen doesn’t mind all that much. Especially not when he’s kissing Jared for the first time.
A first kiss during the last days of summer camp, how much more clichéd can they get.
“Oh thank God, sometimes I thought you weren’t really into men and then you kept on flirting back and confusing the hell out of me,” Jared mumbles against his lips and it tickles like hell. Jensen snorts, at both the sensation and Jared’s words. It’s all so very ridiculous and frustrating that Jensen surges forward again and claims Jared’s mouth a second time.
It’s even more heated now, tongues entwined, licking, biting, claiming. It’s desperate and urgent, time is running out. Jensen clings, tucks Jared closer, wants to feel, wants so much more. This is not enough, but so much more than he thought it would be. Jared tastes sweet, like the tons of candy he consumes at every hour of the day, and like coffee, which makes Jensen moan. Jared takes like Jared, which surprises Jensen in a way, he never knew here could be something unique to kisses.
Danneel’s shout of triumph pulls them apart and Jensen curses out loud.
“Finally. And, thank you! You guys earned me a good 100 bucks there. Way to go, Stallion.”
Jared ducks his head, grins and tries to hide at the same time. It’s way too adorable and Jensen can’t help but kiss him again. Just a little peck on the lips but it has his heart racing like none of the other two kisses before did. This, is way more intimate.
“Why does she always call me Stallion?”
It’s Jensen’s time to blush.
“Uhm, kind of retaliation for the Boner thing. I… well, the one time you came out of the lake.. and.. yeah…I guess I kinda raved a little and she was there so… uhm.. my fault?,” Jensen coughs, doesn’t really dare to look at Jared.
“Oh my God… I so don’t want to miss any of the ways Danneel pays you back,“ and then Jared is laughing. “God, Jen. I… This is good right? This between us, whatever it is. Just… I want.. actually I don’t want to just go and never here from you again. I dunno.. I guess we wasted time here…” Jared sounds sad, lips still swollen fro the kiss but down turned and Jensen can’t stand that. He just can’t.
He pulls Jared close, like he never really dared to do before. Just into his arms, and they stay like that. Breathing calm and steady, watching the lake the stars, nothing at all. Jensen doesn’t do this. He’s not romantic or sweet or into cuddling. It’s just that he needs this right now, seems not to be able to resist the urge to just feel Jared close.
Yeah, he’d say they wasted time, stupidly so.
“Jen?” And really, Jensen is so damn glad that Jared’s never called him that when Mike was close.
“Hmm?”
“I… Just.. I know you don’t know where you’ll go and what you’ll do… but please, could we maybe just not let this come between us? Not now? Can you… maybe promise me that we’ll try this? See where it goes?”
It shouldn't make Jensen’s stomach flutter, the fact that Jared sounds so damn young and unsure but still determined at the same time. It really shouldn’t. Only it does and Jensen feels bad for being kind of an asshole these past few days, feels bad that he let Jared feel the things he couldn’t deal with. Jared’s still kind of tucked against his side, head resting on Jensen’s shoulder. It’s really clichéd and Jensen would mock and snort about a scene like that endlessly, if it were some of the kids and not Jared and him.
For a second though he isn’t sure what to say but then he’s opening his mouth against Jared’s hair, kisses the soft strands and lets the words go.
“I promise.”
And Jensen thinks there has never been a thing he said before that he meant this much. There has never been a promise he thought would be easy to keep, now there is one. He’s not letting Jared go.
Part 3
Author: the_milky_way
Genre: RPS AU
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4.491
Beta: Thanks so much for the beta services and the suggestions joans23
Disclaimer: This story is fictional (not real, didn't happen). Not true in any way. I don't own anything.
Notes: written for schmoop_bingo, Prompt: Wild Card at my schmoop_bingo card.
Find Part 1 can be found here but it also can be read as a stand-alone.
It was also written for the "Back to school" prompt at notjustroomates.
For enablelove and everyone else who loves grumpy!Jensen.
Summary: Jensen doesn't really know how not to be grumpy, he also doesn't really know if going back to school is the best idea right now. What does know though is, that he really needs to talk to Jared about it all. Only, for some reason, he doesn't and things are kind of stuck. Okay, and he might be a little pre-occupied with staring at Jared as well. Who can blame him?
Summer is almost over. Just a week of camp left and things are a little wild all around. Then it will be back to school and back into real life, away from the rainbow world of summer camp, new friends and summer loves.
Dramas over dramas. Relationships ending, friendships being reassured through oaths of keeping in contact, kids freaking out over packing and seeing old friends again. Just the usual end of camp hysteria.
So all in all, the same as always
Jensen is kept busy by the last bouts of cabin fever, tries to keep the nerds separated from the usual hi-jinks the teens get up to when they think the counselors are tired and won’t notice anyway. Misha and Danneel prove them wrong every time. Jensen doesn’t smirk with glee when some of the football jocks are caught drinking again and get send to Camp Pride for the alcohol counseling the guys over there hold every Tuesday.
Jensen also doesn’t smirk with glee when one of Mike’s cheerleaders ends up throwing a hissy fit of epic proportions when Mike tells her that there is no way she’ll spend the last two nights at the camp across the lake. Jensen just takes his book, looks down at his sleeping little geeks-in-training and plants himself on the porch to read the last chapter.
He’s waiting for Jared to show up.
Together they have developed some kind of routine. Whenever one of them can get out of the night watch, they’ll meet at the other’s camp. It’s worked for weeks without them really doing anything more than talk. And Jared really can talk a lot. But then Jensen actually likes listening to him, to his stories, to his wishes and his fears. If that makes him a love struck fool like Mike likes to point out then he doesn’t really care. Not that he’s been listening to Mike all that much lately anyway.
He admittedly was kind of occupied with a giant dork that goes by the name of Jared.
Jared and him… well they are kind of stuck in that awkward stage of trying to get to know each other with a lot of people around, a lot of distractions and disturbances and with not much time to achieve anything but some sort of acquaintance. Jensen thinks he’s never flirted this long and hard without really scoring. Okay, so he’s maybe a little frustrated here, with himself and with Jared. Mainly with the whole situation and the fact that he isn’t all that far away from being like one of Mike’s teen drama queens, crying over a lost summer love.
If he’s honest he’s exactly like them. He’s frustrated and trying not think about the ‘after camp’ time and how or if they’ll be able to stay in contact. Everything is so uncertain that it almost drives literally Jensen up a tree.
And Jared isn’t doing anything but ramble, smile his awesome sparkly smile (shut up, Misha implanted that sparkly stuff in his brain and he’ll pay for it, Jensen swore that much) and be his dorky, adorable self. Sometimes he’s too much to deal with and Jensen just skips out, out of the conversations and sometimes even completely out of the whole meeting.
He’s hurt Jared several times already but he’s always been able to make it up to him. The man’s addiction to candy and Jensen’s apologetic smiles are well known amongst the three camps around the lake. Yes, they are gossip topic number one. And Jensen’s pretty sure he caught Misha and Danneel taking bets, too. He just hasn’t dared to ask how much’s in the pot yet.
So Jensen is rather clueless how to go about things with Jared and he thinks that Jared might have the same problem. Despite the fact that they talk so much they are surprisingly bad at communicating the right things it seems.
He knows where Jared will be, going right back to school, to sophomore year and to his life before camp. Jensen… well Jensen is kinda hanging in the air right now. But he’s not ready to think about it yet. Jared is so tempting, so sure about what he wants and wants to do that Jensen feels a little inadequate compared to that.
Grad school looms big and not all that enticing on the horizon and all he wants to do is go back to his things, be done with school and move somewhere far, far away.
But then grad school might also mean being close to Jared, which Jensen isn’t sure is the right thing to want, the right thing to base his decision on. Their relationship isn’t that far along yet, not by any means.
The thing is that he doesn’t know what he wants to do. Well, there is something, but that has nothing to do with school or finding a job or his professional life at all.
So he’s sitting here waiting and trying to finally finish the damn novel he’s had with him all summer and barely got the chance to read. Of course there were Jared and the kids eating up his time, and it’s not like he really cares. It’s just that Jensen never thought time could really fly like that.
He tries not to think... too much at least. He won’t find the right solution now anyway. He’s been trying for weeks and never goes beyond knowing that another few years of school might not be what he actually wants, but might mean he won’t end up sitting at home alone and thinking about Jared miles away.
Jensen isn’t even sure where this is coming from, how Jared has managed to worm his way into his life without Jensen really noticing. He’s just caught himself several times lately including Jared into his future plans. Jensen has no clue what’s going on with him right now.
Not knowing makes him grumpy. So much so that even Mike has picked up on it, rubs it in every chance he gets. And if Jensen hears one more hint that Jared might not even let him into his pants something very bad will happen. It’s not all about sex. Well, maybe just a little bit.
The book rests open on his knees and his coffee is cold already when Danneel drops down on the step next to him. She doesn’t say a word for a while and Jensen actually gets some reading done, loses himself in the book and is kind of grateful that Danneel’s presence alone can calm him down so considerably.
They’ve known each other for years, started High School together and camp as well. He’d even go as far as to call her his best friend if Chris hadn’t threatened him with the evocation of his Kane membership card. And Jensen actually likes all the amenities touring with Chris and Steve brings him. So Danneel is just his second best friend but secretly they all know that she is the only one who can really kick his ass. Jensen kind of has the feeling that this will be one of those moments. And maybe he needs it.
“Freaking out, huh?”
Oh, they’ve had this talk before. Several times. And he’s yet to do what she wants him to do. Take the first step and talk to Jared. Only, he knows he’s shit with emotional talks, and it clearly will be one, knowing Jared and all. So Jensen might just be a tiny bit scared that he’ll screw it all up by saying the wrong thing, or saying the right things in the wrong way. It’s not like he had to do something like this before.
The last relationship he had that was longer than a few weeks was back in high school and it was a secret one on top of it. So not really the best example to go by and base this future talk with Jared on. Instead of just taking the plunge like Danneel wants him to, Jensen has let Jared ramble on and on about his love for “Hello Kitty”. And yes, Jensen actually cracked up for half an hour during that talk. Jared wasn’t too pissed. Well, he wasn’t anymore when he got the chance to trip Jensen into the cold lake after sundown.
“No idea what you are talking about. Just trying to finally finish this book.”
Danneel snorts, shakes her head and snatches the book away.
“Hey.”
“Come on Jenny, I know you are just trying to avoid making a fool of yourself. But honey, that train left ages ago.”
If he didn’t like her so much, he’d get up and leave right now. And well, he didn’t know exactly what she’d do if he tried to leave. He loves his balls just a little bit too much to let her such a clear shot at them.
“Thanks a lot, Danni. That really, really helps to build my confidence and make me do what you want me to do. Not.” He knows it’s an unattractive look on him but he can’t help the pout. It usually works on her, but it doesn’t this time judging from the stern look she gives him. The moon’s bright in the dark sky despite it being only half full, but Jensen can see Danneel and her hard looks just fine.
“How are things supposed to go now, Jensen? That boy is so gone for you. Everyone can see that.” She really doesn’t have to remind him, even though he still has a hard time believing it. Ever since the Ferris Wheel stunt Jared pulled for him despite his fear of heights Jensen had known that there was something between them. But then things got stuck in this awkward back and forth and they never really made it past that first stage of flirting.
“Yeah. God, Danni, I know. But how am I supposed to know what comes next when I’m not even sure where I’ll be in a week?” Jensen flinches at how desperate he sounds. That’s not him and he can’t believe that Jared has gotten under his skin like this. So much that Jensen is seriously thinking about his future for the first time in months.
“Oh Jensen. Just.. talk to him. Might be easier than you think.”
She might be right. Doesn’t mean he knows how to do it.
***
Jensen’s way too busy during the next few days to really give any of it more thought. Drama breaks out all over the place and Jensen, more than once, has to break up fights, dry tears or mop puke up from the floor .
Yes, he’ll be so damn glad when this is over. And so very, very depressed when it is. He really does feel like one of the camp kids these days, with Jared’s campus address and home address tucked safely away in his day planer. For later use of course. Jared’s phone numbers are all stored in his cell phone and his in Jared’s. So really, nothing can go wrong now.
Only, they still haven’t talked about it at all yet. Jensen had approached the exchanged of numbers and addresses with his usual wit and sarcasm, not taking it too serious. Jared had been somewhat subdued ever since.
They still meet up but the days are dwindling and Jensen is still as clueless as he was a few days ago.
Jared’s sitting next to him this evening. Silent, unusually so. The sun’s about to vanish behind the trees and the light is somewhat eerie, but fitting for the situation though. Jensen has never been tongue-tied before, but then he never really had so many important questions to ask and decisions to make before either.
He awkwardly rubs the sore spot on his arm and huddles a little closer to Jared, feels the warmth seep through his jeans where they are touching. It’s so much like the Ferris Wheel, only Jared’s not frozen in fear and isn’t constantly apologizing either.
“Jen?” Jared’s voice makes him jump. So much that he slides of the log they’re sitting on and bumps his head hard against it on his way down.
“Shit. Jen? You alright? God… I’m sorry.”
See? There? This is what Jensen has missed the last couple of days. Jared posing an immanent threat to his health and then doing everything he can to make it up to Jensen. There are big but gentle hands on his arms, dragging him up, slowly and carefully. Stars in front of his eyes make it kind of difficult to focus but then Jensen just lets himself lean against Jared. It’s comfortable, and his head thanks him for not moving too much.
“Am fine,” he mumbles.
The same gentle hands that had just been on his arms are now moving slowly over his head, comb through his hair. Feeling for blood, Jensen realizes and doesn’t even deny that his chest warms with the realization. This is so Jared. For all that he flirts back Jared is rather shy when it comes to real intimacy. But then, Jared is just 19 after all, not a virgin but not all that experienced either. Jensen shouldn’t find this fact as hot as he does.
And they haven’t even kissed yet. He knows almost all of Jared’s life story, knows about his family and friends, about school and his favorite books, music, movies. Knows about Jared’s sex life.
He doesn’t know how Jared tastes and it bothers Jensen right now. Bothers him a lot.
And really, Jensen has never been one to let a chance like this pass by, even if he’s been behaving like a colossal idiot lately.
His lips move against warm skin, he feels Jared shiver and hears him squeak a little, but he doesn’t move away. Jared stays were he is and Jensen smiles.
“Jen?”
“Hmmm?” His lips vibrate against Jared’s throat and Jensen shivers in sympathy with Jared. It feels good, like he’s finally taking a step in the right direction, however small it might be.
“This... I… you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this. Well, okay, so basically since we met.. or you know since I spilled those slushies all over you.. I mean, man, have you seen your chest under a wet t-shirt lately? ‘Cause I gotta tell ya, it’s a damn fine sight… But you know we… I mean, I think we should maybe talk first? Uhm.. maybe?”
Despite his still slightly throbbing head and the shivers running down his spine triggered by Jared’s fingers still gently massaging his head, Jensen snorts and bites his lips to hold the laughter in.
“Are you laughing at me?” Jared doesn’t sound hurt, more like he’s amused and Jensen can’t hold it back anymore. He laughs, hard and long, all the while pressed against Jared. It feels good to just let go and feel safe. And it’s the first time he actually realizes he’s feeling like this; safe, warm, just good. Yes, he’s officially become one of the camp kids. And he so doesn’t care.
Jensen finally manages to shake his head no.
“Okay. Good. ‘Cause that would have been mean. I know that you can be grumpy as hell and snappy and all that. But you aren’t mean. ‘s why I like you. Yeah…”
Jensen has a really hard time not to start laughing again.
“Oh Jay… Oh.. just. You are way too adorable for you own good.”
“Am not.”
Jensen snorts
“Are, too.”
“Nope.”
“Yes. According too Danneel, you are.” Jensen lifts his head and smirks at Jared, feeling relieved at the smile he gets in return.”
“Since when are you listening to Danneel anyway?” Jared guides them back to sit on the log and Jensen mourns the loss of warmth against his cheek but he actually feels okay now, not dizzy anymore and sitting is way more comfortable anyway. For his foot at least, since Jake and Colin had thought it would be a good idea to tie a heavy bucket to the top of the door. Jensen’s foot hadn’t liked the idea at all.
It’s still warm out, even though the sun is finally gone. Just a thin red line visible at the horizon’s edge. The lights from the camps are reflected on the water of the lake.
Misha has taken over Jensen’s watch and Sophia took Jared’s, which is probably just her way to get Chad under control, or so Jared has tried to explain earlier. Jensen is kind of out of the loop when it comes to camp gossip since he’s become the subject of it himself. All he knows is what he gets from either Jared, Mike or the girl’s cliques whispering behind the cabins. Yeah, they are not as hidden as they’d like to think, much to Jensen’s delight.
“Jen?”
“Hmm?”
“Danneel? You listening to her? Are you sure you are okay?”
Oh right, there was a question but Jensen had gotten too distracted by how close Jared was again.
“Yeah, since she can actually kick my ass. And believe me, I so don’t want to experience that again.”
Jared laughs, deep and warm. Jensen wants to get used to it, wants to hear it every day.
“Do I want to know this story?”
“Maybe. But later.”
Jared smirks at him, makes it clear that he knows more than Jensen wants him to. And this is not good. Jared shouldn’t know this much about him already, but Jensen actually talked more those last few weeks than he did in years.
“Has it got something to do with you calling her boyfriend Boner every single time?”
“Uh... maybe?” How does Jared know those things?
“Why are you doing that anyway?”
“Fits. Hey, no… don’t look at me like that. I never saw it. Just his name, it’s easy to get it wrong. And well, I might have been drunk the first time but it was so damn hilarious to see his face. And hers. Never seen her blush like that.”
Jared tries not to burst, tries to hold the laughter in but he’s shaking with it. Jensen can feel every ripple of it against his side. And all he wants to do right then is climb into Jared’s lap and feel it even closer.
“God, you guys. I’ve never heard so many dirty and innuendo-ladden stories as during these camp weeks. You are corrupting minors, you know.”
“God, don’t remind me. I feel old enough already in your presence. Bad enough that I’m heading for grad school and you are just in your second college year. I feel geriatric compared to you, Padalecki,” Jensen grumbles, pushes Jared with his shoulder a little and smirks when Jared flails and has to work hard to not slide off the log himself. Payback is a bitch. Jared flailing is always a sight to behold. Jensen should know, he has bazillions of pictures on his cell proving it. Why? He has no idea.
“Awww Jen. It’s okay, you know? We all get old. You just a little faster than others.”
“Oh bite me.”
“Later. If you ask nicely.” Jared smirks but there is something in his eyes, something very close to a promise and Jensen knows they are both aware of it.
“Yeah. Remind me to,” Jensen says, almost doesn’t recognize his voice, rough and low. Is surprised to see what kind of effect it has on Jared and how Jared swallows hard when he sees Jensen looking.
“So? Uhm.. will you?”
“Will I what?” Jensen can admit that he’s a little confused right now. Because, hello, sexual tension and frustration very apparent here? Anybody? No? Jensen sighs.
“Go back to school. You.. well.. we haven’t talked about it. But.. I… thought you’d maybe.. well, I guess you aren’t so keen on grad school. Didn’t sound like it anyway, when you talked to Misha. And no, I wasn’t spying, was just in the next room with the crafts group,” Jared actually blushes, something he hasn’t done since the first few days of their awkward dance around each other.
“I.. well. I don’t know. It’s four more years and I’m not sure I want to. But I’m no sure what else I want to do, or could do. It’s just not there yet. I…” Jensen shrugs, looks at Jared as if the guy has the answer written on his face. Of course, he doesn’t.
“Just maybe.. I… I guess I can’t help you there.” Jared looks like he wants to say something else, something he knows won’t go over well and Jensen is curious. Suddenly Danneel’s voice is in his mind, telling him Jared might be able to help if he’d just talk to him. Jensen wonders if they are at the stage where they can influence each other’s lives like this.
“Spill it, Jay.”
“Huh?”
“You wanted to say something, so say it. I wanna here it. Might even be an option.”
“Uh, okay. But tell me if I’m way off…”
“Sure,” Jensen nods because they both know he will.
“So uh… I know you have a degree in education and you told me that you love to make music. Right? So uhm… my school, there is this prof and he is looking for grad students that would like to work with kids and music. Like a therapy thing? Have you ever thought about that?” Jared looks hopeful, like this is the best idea ever and Jensen just can’t bring himself to outright refuse. And the more he thinks about it, the idea actually sounds vaguely interesting. That’s more than he had so far.
“I’ll think about it. Okay?”
“That’s all I wanted. Jensen, I don’t need you to jump up and down and be all on fire for this. It’s just an idea I had and when you didn’t say anything I wasn’t sure if you even had a plan. Of course, it would be cool to have you close, but I… I wasn’t sure if you would want to. I mean, it’s not like we are… you know, together or as if anything happened. I mean, I’d love to have you as a friend, ‘cause you are awesome and all that. But judging from earlier, we’re actually on the same page and I.. well yeah, that would be cool, too.. so if.. hmpf.”
Because yes, Jensen finally figured out how to shut Jared up. And very effectively as well.
It’s a short kiss, fast and needy, desperate but still gentle in so many ways. Jared’s holding Jensen’s face, something Jensen never liked before but now he feels himself melting into Jared’s touch. He’s already established how pathetic he is, so Jensen doesn’t mind all that much. Especially not when he’s kissing Jared for the first time.
A first kiss during the last days of summer camp, how much more clichéd can they get.
“Oh thank God, sometimes I thought you weren’t really into men and then you kept on flirting back and confusing the hell out of me,” Jared mumbles against his lips and it tickles like hell. Jensen snorts, at both the sensation and Jared’s words. It’s all so very ridiculous and frustrating that Jensen surges forward again and claims Jared’s mouth a second time.
It’s even more heated now, tongues entwined, licking, biting, claiming. It’s desperate and urgent, time is running out. Jensen clings, tucks Jared closer, wants to feel, wants so much more. This is not enough, but so much more than he thought it would be. Jared tastes sweet, like the tons of candy he consumes at every hour of the day, and like coffee, which makes Jensen moan. Jared takes like Jared, which surprises Jensen in a way, he never knew here could be something unique to kisses.
Danneel’s shout of triumph pulls them apart and Jensen curses out loud.
“Finally. And, thank you! You guys earned me a good 100 bucks there. Way to go, Stallion.”
Jared ducks his head, grins and tries to hide at the same time. It’s way too adorable and Jensen can’t help but kiss him again. Just a little peck on the lips but it has his heart racing like none of the other two kisses before did. This, is way more intimate.
“Why does she always call me Stallion?”
It’s Jensen’s time to blush.
“Uhm, kind of retaliation for the Boner thing. I… well, the one time you came out of the lake.. and.. yeah…I guess I kinda raved a little and she was there so… uhm.. my fault?,” Jensen coughs, doesn’t really dare to look at Jared.
“Oh my God… I so don’t want to miss any of the ways Danneel pays you back,“ and then Jared is laughing. “God, Jen. I… This is good right? This between us, whatever it is. Just… I want.. actually I don’t want to just go and never here from you again. I dunno.. I guess we wasted time here…” Jared sounds sad, lips still swollen fro the kiss but down turned and Jensen can’t stand that. He just can’t.
He pulls Jared close, like he never really dared to do before. Just into his arms, and they stay like that. Breathing calm and steady, watching the lake the stars, nothing at all. Jensen doesn’t do this. He’s not romantic or sweet or into cuddling. It’s just that he needs this right now, seems not to be able to resist the urge to just feel Jared close.
Yeah, he’d say they wasted time, stupidly so.
“Jen?” And really, Jensen is so damn glad that Jared’s never called him that when Mike was close.
“Hmm?”
“I… Just.. I know you don’t know where you’ll go and what you’ll do… but please, could we maybe just not let this come between us? Not now? Can you… maybe promise me that we’ll try this? See where it goes?”
It shouldn't make Jensen’s stomach flutter, the fact that Jared sounds so damn young and unsure but still determined at the same time. It really shouldn’t. Only it does and Jensen feels bad for being kind of an asshole these past few days, feels bad that he let Jared feel the things he couldn’t deal with. Jared’s still kind of tucked against his side, head resting on Jensen’s shoulder. It’s really clichéd and Jensen would mock and snort about a scene like that endlessly, if it were some of the kids and not Jared and him.
For a second though he isn’t sure what to say but then he’s opening his mouth against Jared’s hair, kisses the soft strands and lets the words go.
“I promise.”
And Jensen thinks there has never been a thing he said before that he meant this much. There has never been a promise he thought would be easy to keep, now there is one. He’s not letting Jared go.
Part 3