Nano Shots 2011 "And if life is your stage I'll be watching" Part 1
Part 1: getting to know each other
New. The new guy.
Again.
It’s the fifth time during his high school career and Jensen is getting tired of it. It’s his senior year and he hopes he’ll be able to finish school here. Here, as in back in his home town, where he was born and grew up for a few years.
Jensen knows his dad is not doing it to punish them or something. It’s his job and when the country calls his dad goes where he’s send. And the Ackles family follows. At least until they can and are allowed to live on their own. Jensen envies his brother sometimes, off to college and living his life. If things go as planned he’ll have that after this year.
Freedom. Settling in somewhere and staying for as long as he wants, or at least for four years.
He sighs, sinks down even more in the driver’s seat and watches how a new day starts around him. The school looks okay to him. Nothing like the piece of decaying junk he had to complete his junior year in, after coming back from Europe. Thankfully, it only had been a few months.
This school looks bright, clean brick and white washed stones all the way. There are different parts, several quads and courtyards and he has seen them all already. The principal insisted on showing him around when his dad got him enrolled a few days prior. And the principal actually seemed nice, interested. She had kind eyes and the motherly nature Jensen always associates with Texas for some reason.
Jensen is early. He always is on his first day somewhere. Needs to see who is who, which groups are around and who rules the hierarchy. It’s way easier to settle in somewhere when he knows who to associate with and who to keep away from. It changes every time even of the dynamics in high school always stay the same. But Jensen never chooses the same group twice.
It’s kind of a game for him now. Looking for a group he’s never been in before and trying to see if he can find a way in. It’s like creating new versions of himself every single time and so far it’s never been boring.
So he always watches first and the acts.
He wonders if it’ll be the jocks this time or the drama club or even being an outsider. For some reason he has the feeling that fitting with the masses will work out better than playing any kind of rebel. For a second he’s glad that the red hair experiment disaster from spring didn’t leave any traces, scratches his fingers through his short hair and takes in the scenes around him.
The sun’s already high in the sky, the last of summer trying its best to melt everything and everyone in its wake. It’s going to be a hot day and Jensen finds the first thing he loves about his new school. Well, the first two, shadowy places provided by a lot of trees on the school grounds and the fact that he knows there will be an AC in every room.
Jensen loves Texas, even the heat and the sun glaring from the sky. He’s unreasonably happy to be back again after years spent traveling from one country to the next. He’s a diplomat’s child through and through but he knows where his roots are and he has missed being close to them.
Jensen smiles when he remembers his Gran and how she had almost screamed when they showed up at her doorstep a month ago. His grandparents are awesome and being able to live with them again is better than he could have imagined. He sometimes feels guilty for never even thinking about how liberal they’ve always been and doubting them on the way over to Texas.
He blinks at the people outside, in a world of their own right now, excluding him and not even seeing him watching them. He wonders if it’ll be a problem here. It’s Texas after all. Then dismisses the thought, because it’s not important right now.
His dad’s promise to finally settle down here, to make sure that Jensen and Mackenzie can find friends and actually have a home, is still in his ears. And for all the chances Jensen has to enter the Ivy League, he plans on attending UT next fall.
Music’s playing softly, volume turned low so he could hear the navigation system. He cringes when he looks at the screen but he’s never driven from one end of town to the other. He’s never driven a car in this town at all. The music is something rocky, nothing he particularly cares about but it’s soothing and he needs it now.
Jensen isn’t really nervous, more like a mixture of excitement and anxiety. He hates being the new one but he’s used to it by now.
More and more kids arrive; group off in front of the main entrance and at first Jensen thinks it’s the usual. There are the jocks, being loud and boisterous, the drama club kids having their heads together probably plotting something, then there are the geeks, and the Goths and the… Punks. Okay.
The usual picture someone would expect in front of a high school.
But then, and Jensen has to admit he’s surprised to see it at all, there are the cheerleaders. And not a small amount of guys in cheer get up as well. And they are mixed in with the jocks and it looks very normal.
Then people start to mingle, to talk and laugh and jostle each other with not regard to any of the groups they are supposedly in. Jensen feels himself gawking and has to shake himself out of it.
Maybe this school is a little different after all. He’s suddenly looking forward to starting anew. But for the first time in a long time Jensen isn’t sure how to approach this school. He hasn’t seen any kind of way how to fit in yet, which group to choose and it unsettles him a little.
When the first bell sounds, he turns the radio off, grabs his back and gets out of the car.
***
The hallways are busy, bustling with people and Jensen thinks everyone around here either is early like himself or arrives exactly on time. He has to get his schedule first now, couldn’t get it earlier since there had been a problem with the system.
The vice principal’s office is at the end of the first long hallway, directly opposite form the principal’s and Jensen tries not to find it amusing but he has met the vice principal, too. And he can imagine why Mrs. Padalecki wants him to be as far away from her as she can manage.
The receptionist is a different one from last time. She eyes him curiously and Jensen frowns a little. This is not the way he wants to be looked at on his first day.
“Hi. Name’s Jensen Ackles. Mr. Speight told me to check in on my first day.”
Jensen almost laughs at the way her face falls. It’s an ego boost that she thought he was a teacher and not a student.
“Uh… just a minute. Please, have a seat.”
Jensen smirks, flops down and sprawls out. He can be mean when he wants to and this is too much fun to pass up on the opportunity. A little teasing is half the fun anyway. And the slight blush on her cheeks is reward enough. She’s still young, probably barely out of high school herself but Jensen’s not interested. At all.
The plastic chair is surprisingly comfy but he still hopes that this won’t take long. He really doesn’t want to be the last one in class. The clock on the wall tells him that he still has about fifteen minutes. It should be okay.
He lets his eyes wander, trace the pin walls and team banners along the offices walls and out in the hallway. There are flyers for extracurricular activities and they actually look interesting, even from afar. Jensen decides that the team names aren’t as stupid as they could have been. He can see himself as a Maverick. It kind of fits.
There’s a small cough a minute later and the blush on the receptionist’s cheeks flares up again when he looks at her and raises an eyebrow.
“Mr. Speight will see you now, Mr. Ackles.”
Jensen rises slowly and smiles.
“Thanks, honey.”
Jensen loves that he doesn’t have to hide his Texan heritage anymore. No one here will mock him for it.
***
Energy. Do you have it? Save it!
Jensen blinks at the colorful flyer tacked to his locker, looks around to see it hanging from every single one in the hallway. He pulls it loose and checks it out. He’s curious.
You’ll need it even more now. reads the next page and when Jensen turns it all the way around he’s torn between groaning out loud, laughing and rolling his eyes.
The last page of the flyer says BECAUSE IT’S TRYOUT TIME AGAIN!!! Join the cheer squad, feel the Energy.
He snorts, puts the flyer into his locker and grabs his notebook. His first day is almost over and only the journalism course is left now. Jensen’s looking forward to it and is glad that this school offers something like this.
As far as ‘first days at school’ go this one was okay so far. He has caught himself several times enjoying being at school again. He doesn’t really mind being jostled in busy hallways, being looked at curiously or ignored by most of the students. It’s actually okay because he feels good.
It’s probably due to the fact that he’s mostly ahead in the subject matters, thanks to the schools in Europe and his mom’s insistence to keep up with the US high school curriculum wherever they lived at the time. And when he’s behind it’s thankfully not too far. He’ll catch up fast.
If he can concentrate that is.
First day and Jensen finds himself on the way to being infatuated already. It’s not supposed to be like this, not on the very first day without him knowing anybody. But then he got into Advanced American Literature and knew he wouldn’t be able to follow the lesson.
He was not sitting in the back of the class like he usually is but in the middle of the window row. And there was this guy sitting right in front of him. A certain kind of energy surrounded him and Jensen felt himself being drawn toward it. He seemed nice, outgoing, smiling and talking to everyone. Even to Jensen, if only to say a friendly hello.
Just the smile alone would have drawn Jensen in, the dimples and bright eyes were doing rest of the convincing. Floppy brown hair, muscled arms and strong thighs and the fact that the kid was tall as fuck didn’t hurt either. He was gorgeous. Jensen was staring.
During class Jensen eyes kept sliding back to the guy in front of him. He took the broad shoulders in, the bouncing leg that the guy can’t seem to keep still, the head constantly turning towards the blond guy next to him.
The whole time Jensen thought how amazing it was that ‘tall guy’ could answer everything blond guy asked but never seemed to lose his place on the page of the book they were discussing during the lesson.
Jensen caught himself staring at dark brown in particular. It seemed out of order but then tall guy kept shaking his head and every strand seemed to be rearranged anyway. Jensen had to force himself not to stare but those shoulders underneath a school team shirt and those long legs in ripped denim were very enticing.
At the end of the end of his first day, Jensen stands in the hallway and thinks of bright hazel eyes, long legs and a killer smile. He finds himself smiling at the colorful flyers and kind of likes how things are starting around here.
This will be an interesting year. He’s sure of it.
***
Victory will be ours! We will have the right team! Join us! Tryouts next Friday!
At the end of the first week, Jensen has seen it all. Well, all the banners and flyers and stickers advertising the tryouts for James Madison’s cheer team. The season hasn’t even started yet but Fridays already seem to be all about sports.
At first he had thought it would be way too early to start tryouts but then someone told him how popular teams were around here and that things had to be started early to get it all done on time for the season.
Jensen’s not sure if he wants to join any team, not to say the cheer team, yet. He’s always liked being part of a team and doing fun things. But it’s only been a week and he doesn’t really know anybody yet. And for some reason he’s happy with his journalism class and the prospect of joining the drama club.
As everywhere Jensen has been to school, team spirit is very important around James Madison as well. Only this time Jensen doesn’t feel his usual contempt towards it. Sure, the flyers and colors are a bit much sometimes, but people seem to love it and are enthusiastic about it without it going overboard. It’s nice for a change.
If Jensen had to describe it, he would say it feels real around here. Like people really like what it’s all about and support their teams no matter what. There’s of course the football team, then there’s soccer and baseball, as well as basketball, tennis and swimming. Then there’s the cheer team and those guys seem to be very, very fond of their sense of team spirit.
Jared is part of it. Jared - that is 'tall guy'.
Jared has been handing out flyers and stickers all week, has reminded people of every single try out there is. Jared is playing baseball, swims and helps out the cheer team when they are short a strong guy. When Jensen learned about it, all he could do was stare and endure Chris’ laughter and pat - well more like a hit really - on the back.
Chris is in his bio and chemistry classes, and they hit it off immediately. He’s a little grumpy most of the times but has been very helpful. He’s on the football team and has introduced Jensen to some people already.
Chris is now standing right next to him while they watch people almost fighting to get to the sign-up sheets first. Jensen sort of finds it hilarious and a little frightening at the same time. Looking around, Jensen is actually amazed that he knows most of the people. Probably due to Chris and his connections. The guy seems to know everyone around school or at least someone who knows someone else.
Chris knows Jared, too. That’s how Jensen has known Jared’s name at the end of his first day at school, how he now knows that Jared plans on joining the drama club and the school paper as well. That’s how Jensen came face to face with Jared on his second day and found himself instantly attracted to the guy’s voice and even more so to his wide smile.
Jensen has been silently berating himself for going mute around Jared ever since. Chris found it funny, so much that he still teases Jensen about it. And the weirdest thing about it all is that Jensen doesn’t even mind, either the mocking from Chris or his own inability to really talk around Jared. Jensen, for the first time in a while, feels like the average American teenager. He kind of likes it.
“Victory!
Jensen cringes. His ears ring and he glares a little at Chris, who only smirks back. Chris usually isn’t a loud guy but when it comes to things he likes Jensen starts to learn to not stand too close to Chris. The guy can be very enthusiastic then. Especially when Chris is excited.
“Excited much?” Jensen smiles and doesn’t even try to hide the sarcasm, likes that Chris always gets it and takes it the way Jensen means it. Jensen already has the reputation as the ‘sarcastic new guy from Europe’. He’d feel insulted if it wasn’t always said with a little tongue in cheek. People know he’s Texan bred.
Jared had actually doubted it at first. And Jensen still feels some kind of victory at the fact that Jared’s eyes grew wide at Jensen’s deep drawl. In fact, Jensen feels gleeful about it. He knows he should interpret too much into it but Jared seemed … well at least not ignorant. Interested would probably a too strong a word to use
.
“Fuck off, Ackles. Tryouts will be great this year. So much to watch. All those freshmen and then you.”
“Me?” Jensen frowns. He really hadn’t thought about trying out for any team yet.
“’Course, man. Saw your Cowboys pin on your bag. Football’s so your thing. Or maybe even the cheer squad.”
Chris slides smoothly out of the way when Jensen tries to hit him and grins. He’s been on Jensen’s case ever since he found him staring at Jared during one memorable lunch break. Jensen tries not to think about it anymore. The Bolognese stains are still on one of his fav t-shirts.
And of course it’s the exact moment that Jared bounces by, literally and Jensen feels the blush creep up on his cheeks. He’s glad Chris doesn’t seem to mind it at all.
“Mop up the drool when you’re done starin’, would’ya?” Chris’ smirk is devilish. It scares Jensen a little. He doesn’t know the guy all that well yet.
“Oh come on, don’t look at me like that, Jenny-bean. Jared doesn’t mind. Believe me. Oh and he so wouldn’t mind you on the cheer team either,” it’s all said with a wink but Jensen thinks Chris actually means every single word. Jocks aren’t really jocks around here.
Jensen starts to realize how different things really are. Chris just pats him on the back and drags him over to the sign-up sheets. Jensen still isn’t sure if he even wants to join any team. But looking at the options won’t hurt anybody.
***
Friends. He needs more of those. Really. How is he supposed to finish all the homework and be social when he doesn’t have enough friends to help him out?
Jensen sighs, lets his head thunk against his desk a few times and then sighs some more. Homework is the ban of every teenager’s existence and he has a lot of it right now. It’s Friday and Jensen is trying to get things done as fast and as good as possible.
It’s a rule his parents set up in the early school years. Homework has to be done on Friday if they wanted to have the weekend off. Jensen still sticks by it. And it’s his own fault that there is so much of it right now. He could have started the book review earlier or solved the math problems during lunch already - like Jared suggested instead of goofing around with Chris.
So really, it’s his own damn fault. He lets his head fall against the desk again and breathes in deeply. His head hurts a little and he thinks the words on the pages are swimming into each other. But it’s not yet done and it’s only six anyway. Enough time to go out later still.
Going out will only be possible if he gets things done, though. Jensen picks his pen up and goes back to taking notes and rearranging analytical paragraphs into something that makes more sense. It takes him another hour to get it done.
Math is just a small obstacle on his way to freedom. Once his done, Jensen flops down on the bed and thinks about calling Chris or Katie or even Mike to see what’s up for the evening. After two months, Jensen’s relieved that he seems to fit in just fine at James Madison. He didn’t even have to pick a certain group this time.
The people he hangs out with now are a mix of different characters, interests and personalities. Clichés, group mentality and the usual high school rivalries don’t seem to count. Jensen actually likes it this way. And he thinks Mrs. Padalecki is partly to blame for it. Her son is doing the rest of keeping the school liberal and open-minded.
Jared Padalecki still features in almost every one of Jensen’s wet dreams. And every time Jensen has to talk to Mrs. Padalecki, which happens often enough since the Principal is also still teaching and is helping out with the journalism course, Jensen feels bad about perving over her son.
Stretching out on his bed, Jensen flexes his muscles a little to get right of the knot in his shoulder but hisses at the pain it causes. Training has been hard today and Jensen thinks it’s not really his thing just yet. Sure, he loves football but starting this early and going full steam is taking a toll on him. He’s having fun though, happy that the team accepted him.
He’s still not sure why he let Chris and then Jared talk him into tying out in the first place. But when it turned out okay and felt good, Jensen didn’t even feel annoyed at their constant mocking and telling him they told him so.
“Jensen?” His mom calls through the door and then knocks. All the Ackles children appreciate their parents take on privacy.
“Yes. Come in.”
The door opens slowly and then his mom is poking her head in. She smiles and looks impressed that he seems to be done with everything.
“How are you doing, honey?”
“Good. Done with the review and math. Only need to go over my presentation notes for tomorrow.” Jensen shrugs. His mom nods and then smiles a little wider.
“Good. Because there’s a friend of yours waiting downstairs in the kitchen.”
He isn’t expecting anyone. The only ones who know his address are Chris, Steven and Katie. And only because they drove him home last weekend.
“Chris?” Jensen asks his mom and frowns when she shakes her head.
“No. It’s Jared. He asked if you wanted to come out to the bonfire.”
Jared? Jared knows where he lives? This little flutter his heart does, it’s been doing that for a while now. And Jensen doesn’t even try to ignore it anymore. He has resigned himself to the fact that he’s got a little crush on Jared. Wouldn’t be the first time he does that with someone he goes to school with. He’s a teenager after all.
His mom raises an eyebrow and waits for him to say something. Only then does Jensen realize that he has been staring, mouth open and eyes wide. It’s not embarrassing at all. And seeing his mom smirk at him does do much to let his blush recede.
“So? Do you want to go?”
“Uh… Yes, sure. Can I?”
His mom outright grins now and Jensen thinks his answer has been a little too enthusiastic. For a moment he thinks his mom will mock him the same way Chris does every day but then her smirk softens into a smile and she nods.
“Just make sure all of your school work is done by Sunday evening. Go on. Have fun, Jensen.”
“Thanks momma.”
“Be careful and enjoy.” The twinkle in her eyes says that she knows something is up with him and that it has something to do with Jared. Jensen so isn’t ready for having this talk now.
Jensen is up from the bed, kissing his mom’s cheek and sliding out of the room and down the stairs so fast that he barely even hears his mom’s laughter following him.
The blush is still there when he catches a glimpse of himself in the hallway mirror. He grimaces and then stumbles over a pair of Mackenzie’s shoes. Jared’s munching on a cookie when Jensen almost falls through the kitchen door. The first thought Jensen has is that it’s so like his momma to feed everyone that sets foot into their house.
“Oh, hey. Hi, Jensen.” Jared tries swallow first and speak the but kind of fails. Jensen thinks it should be this cute, watching someone spraying cookie crumbs all over the place. Jared even smiles a little sheepishly and cleans off the counter top.
“Hey, Jared.”
“Uh... your mom’s awesome, dude. These cookies are heaven,” Jared gushes and Jensen has to laugh. Those are his favorite cookies and he sort of really adores the fact that Jared seems to like them just as much.
“That they are. So? Bonfire?”
“Oh … right. I smacked Chris for forgetting to tell you about it. Also told the girls that they are bad friends. They should have reminded me or Chris to tell you. I live just across the street, so I thought I drop by and ask if you wanted to join us.”
Jared’s looking at him through his bangs, shuffles his feet a little and goes for the all innocent look. Jensen knows it’s mostly just a mask. One that admittedly works very well but Jared’s so far from innocent it’s not even decent anymore. The guy has a mouth on him that makes Chris blush and that says a lot.
But still, Jared looks so hopeful that Jensen smiles. “Okay. Cool.” And he’s back to not being able to say more than two words to Jared. He’d thought his little mute phase was over when he actually realized that talking to Jared was far less mortifying then coming across as a total creep when staying mute. But sometimes those little reminders of the first week show through.
Jared’s grinning now, wide and happy. Jensen can just blink at the dimples. He’s a lost cause and he knows it. Jared grabs a few more cookies and actually bodily drags Jensen out of the house. Jensen’s mom’s “have fun, boys” follows them out and Jensen can only do so much a not to stumble over his own feet.
Sometimes, Jared’s speed is amazing.
“Thanks. For… well, for inviting me,” Jensen says, not sure why but feels like he has to put it out there. It’s Jared and they aren’t exactly friends yet but maybe on the way to becoming them.
“It’s what friends are for,” Jared answers, suddenly all calm and serious. Jensen refuses to believe that something like mind reading exists, but sometimes Jared comes really close to making him doubt his own beliefs.
Jensen’s heart skips a little at Jared’s words. Jensen tries not to think too much of it.
***
Laughter fills the air and Jensen is close to tears.
He leans back against the head rest and thinks about how awesome things are right now.
Jared’s car is kind of awesome and Jared is kind of awesome, too. Jensen doesn’t really remember the last time he laughed this much. It’s been a month since the bonfire and Jensen’s final initiation into the group that is now Jensen’s new family.
Jared’s giggling as well, gripping the steering wheel tightly and tries not to drive them off the road. Jensen’s not even user anymore what they are laughing about, only that it happens a lot lately when he and Jared spend time together.
Jared will tell him all about growing up with people like Chad, Chris, Mike and Katie around, and Jensen reciprocates with stories of his own about being a diplomat’s child. They end up laughing tears more often than not and Jensen loves.
Jared has wormed his way into Jensen’s life. And Jensen doesn’t really know where to place or hide his growing feelings for the other boy. He feels caught between just building up a friendship, that’s already one of the closest he’s ever had or pursuing something more.
Jared’s as open-minded as one can be. Loves to flirt with everyone and everything. And, Jared is very tactile. Jensen never knows how to take his touches, the way Jared sometimes looks at him, because most of the times Jared doesn’t follow through. And if confuses the hell out of Jensen.
It’s not like Jensen’s out or anything. So far he thinks only Chris and Katie have figured it out … and maybe Jared as well. But Jensen doesn’t really see a reason to just put it out there when everyone seems to act like no one cares about those things anyway. He’s still the new guy after all and he really doesn’t want to test if people around here are really as liberal as they say they are.
The old Ford truck is rumbling beneath him and Jensen blinks when Jared sighs and wipes tears out of his eyes. It’s a miracle the car is still on the road. He feels the busted seat under his thigh, wiggles a bit around and sinks back against the seat again. They are on their way to Chad’s for another one of their already famous DVD evenings.
It’s still early in the evening but it’s already dark outside, fall already fading into winter. Thanksgiving is only a week away and everyone gets ready for the Christmas holidays as well. And Jensen is looking forward to the time off. His grandparents will be coming down from Dallas and he can’t wait to have his grandma baking Christmas cookies and making pudding from scratch.
“Where are you?”
“Huh? Oh, just thinking about Christmas. My grandparents are coming and I haven’t seen them in way too long.”
Jared sends him a small smile and it has Jensen’s stomach clenching and his heart skipping. Jensen hates feeling like a love sick fool but then he doesn’t really.
“Wanna hear a story about Chad jumping into a kiddie pool from the roof or our garage on Christmas?”
And just like that Jensen is laughing again.
***
“Family! Man, I’m so glad I can hide out here. Thanks, man.” Chris sighs. Jensen only grins and hands over a can of Coke.
“You’re welcome. Is it really that bad?” Jensen knows that Chris’ family is special, artists and football players, cowboys and southern belles. They are a loving family but sometimes Chris has to get away and Jensen won’t be the one turning him away. Especially not on Christmas Eve.
“Naw. But had to get away for a while. Am not bothering, am I?”
Jensen shakes his head, he has told Chris often enough that it’s okay for him to come over. Jensen’s momma has told Chris so several times as well. So Chris should now.
“Because I’d totally understand if you want to go back to drooling over Jared. I know you, Jenny-bean. Spent all day mooning over, didn’t you?”
“Don’t call me that.”
“That’s the only concern you have? Not denying your epic crush on our Principal’s son?”
“Why should I? You won’t stop with it anyway. I’ll rather save my energies for something else.” The second Jensen says it; he knows it’s the wrong thing. Chris’s grins turns from gleeful to downright devilish. It can’t mean anything good.
“I see. Don’t do it too often, might make you blind.”
“Oh for heaven’s sake, Christian.”
Chris burst into laughter, loud and burling and Jensen can’t help but join in a minute later. They are sitting there, on the back deck of Jensen’s parent’s house on Christmas Eve and are laughing like hyenas.
“God, Jenny. You just sounded like your mom.”
“I’ll take that as compliment, Christian.”
Jensen doesn’t jump because he saw his momma approaching through the door. He laughs even more when Chris does jump and scrambles up to start apologizing to Jensen’s mom. It’s hilarious and a sight to behold. He thinks he’s never seen Chris blush and wishes he had his cell phone or his camera with him.
“Dude! Could have warned me,” Chris grumps when Jensen’s mom is back inside after having handed out fresh cookies and coffees. It smells like Christmas out here now and Jensen takes a deep breath. Fresh Texan air and the flavor of coffee on his tongue, the stars out to be watched and family all around. Jensen feels content
.
“Why? You keep calling me Jenny. This was a little pay back. My mom loves you anyway.”
“Not as much as she loves Jared, though.”
“Chris.” Jensen doesn’t know where this is going. He takes a sip of his coffee but doesn’t look at Chris, who’s no one of the best friend’s he’s ever had. But they never really talk about that topic before, only joked but never got deeper. Suddenly, Jensen’s afraid of what’s to come.
“Jensen. I’ve seen her doting on the boy. They know, don’t they?”
And Jensen doesn’t even have to ask what Chris is talking about. He knows and feels his shoulder sack in relief.
“Yeah,” he nods. “My whole family knows. Have since I was about thirteen and was so damn in love with my French teacher that no one could overlook it anymore.”
Chris snorts, leans back against the wooden railing circling the deck and shakes his head.
“Your French teacher? Really? Could you be anymore cliché?”
“I know, right? To save my and his virtue, he was from Montana and on a missionary trip through Europe.”
That has Chris braying in laughter again. Jensen grins. The sit there for a little while longer, enjoy the coffee and talk about nothing and the world. It feels good and Jensen feels at home, like he’s finally arrived.
“You should talk to Jared.” Chris is looking at him now, serious and a little less giddy than just a minute before.
“’Bout what?”
“Jensen?”
“No, really. About what? We’ve just become friends, Chris. And he’s now going out with Sandy. So what exactly should I talk to him about? I won’t be the one getting in between them. Especially not what he’s so damn happy,” Jensen sighs.
It kind of hurts to talk about it but there isn’t really anything he can do anyway. Jared’s going out with Sandy now, has been for a week. And Jensen will be an awesome friend and support him. He tells Chris as much and is grateful for the lack of pity in his eyes.
“Yeah, okay. I get it. Just thought … well, I don’t even know anymore,” Chris shrugs and Jensen nods.
“Well, way to ruin the mood, asshat.”
Chris laughs then pats him on the head and gets up. He walks inside to say goodbye to Jensen’s parents then comes back out, hugs Jensen and hands a little package over. When Jensen does the same, they both laugh.
“Merry Christmas, man.”
“Merry Christmas, Chris.”
***
Banter is all there is today.
It’s just what they sometimes do, banter and bicker and shoot the shit. All of them. This time they’re curled up on Jensen’s bed, on the floor in front of it, in the chair at his desk and in the loveseat that his brother wanted to take to college with him but never did in the end.
It’s a day before New Year’s Eve and they ended up at Jensen’s because all of his new friends have gotten addicted to Jensen’s momma’s Christmas cookies. And Jensen’s mom is eating up the attention. She approves of Jensen’s friends and for some reason it makes Jensen feel even more at home.
They were supposed to plan a party but never got as far until the cookies appeared and everyone sort of fell into some kind of food coma. Jared’s curled up next to Jensen on the bed and is flicking through one of Jensen’s favorite books.
The picture alone makes Jensen swallow hard and wish things were easier. Chris casts him looks from time to time. Sometimes full of understanding and compassion, never pity though. But sometimes the look is intense, eyebrows raised as if he wants to say something important to Jensen. Only Jensen doesn’t get what.
Sandy’s there as well, curled around Katie on the floor and riffling through Jensen’s CD collection, as if CDs are so far in the past that they don’t even know anymore what those are. Mike’s almost asleep in Jensen’s desk chair, probably high on tea and cinnamon rolls. Chad’s in the love seat and texting Sophia.
Why Jared’s on his bed and not down on the floor with Sandy is kind of beyond Jensen. He doesn’t get it and it confuses him.
“Hey, Jenny-bean …”
“Fuck you, Murray. Don’t call me that.” Jensen’s actually annoyed. More because of how things are with Jared than about Chad imitating Chris, but whatever.
Jared snorts but doesn’t look up from the book. Jensen feels the vibrations through the mattress and tries not to lean any closer to Jared than he already is.
“Sorry, man… just wanted to ask if you have any chocolate around. Sophia is on her way and she’s craving it. Guess her shift wasn’t so great,” Chad just shrugs and goes back to texting. Chris next to him is trying not let his laughter escape through the hand in front of his mouth.
“I hate you,” Jensen mouths at him and glares when Chris has to hide his face against his arm. Shoulders shaking make it clear that Chris is losing it. At least he’s trying to do it silently.
“I like the nickname, even though I do like Jensen better,” is mumbled against the shell of his ear and Jensen really tries hard not to shiver Jared’s voice is low, deep drawl and slurred words. It’s what Jensen fell for during his week at James Madison and it’s still what makes Jensen weak in the knees. Jensen’s seriously glad to be already lying down.
He turns, slowly, so that he doesn’t move even closer to Jared. And then smacks him up the head. The room explodes into laughter and Jared’s indignant squawking makes Jensen giggle - in a really manly way.
Chris winks at him and Jensen actually feels good again.
“Chocolates down in the kitchen. Text her that she should just ask my mom,” Jensen finally answers Chad’s question and receives a salute in return. Looking around the room, Jensen thinks that this is a very weird bunch but that they somehow fit together.
“I do like Jensen as a name.” Jared actually pouts when Jensen looks at him again. The book is lying face down on Jared’s chest and Jared keeps rubbing the spot where Jensen hit him
“Glad to know that, Paddywhack.”
Jared blinks, hoist himself up onto his elbows, then blinks some more and then bursts into laughter as well. Everyone else is silent though and Jensen wonders what’s up with that. He looks at Chris, who’s again trying to hide a brought smile behind his arm but is looking back at Jensen this time. There’s a wink again and Jensen frowns.
“Dude, haven’t heard that one since junior high. Always hated it. But you saying it, it actually sounds funny. Guess Chad told you, huh?”
Jensen is kind of lost now.
“Uhm... no. No one told me.”
“Really? Wow… that’s kinda cool then,” Jared grins and then flops back down onto Jensen’s bed. It’s quiet for second or two and then Katie and Sandy thankfully start to argue about the value of one of Jensen’s CDs. It sets everyone else off; too and soon the room’s filled with banter and bickering again.
Jensen doesn’t know what compels him to say it but just seeing Jared likes this, relaxed and smiling up to him makes his brain run away with ideas Jensen doesn’t even know he had.
“I wouldn’t mind Jen so much. Even if it sounds way too girly.”
“Hmmm… but it fits. You are damn pretty after all.”
“Fuck you.” But Jensen’s fighting a blush again and Jared’s grinning all-knowing and cocky. It shouldn’t be sexy but then Jensen is totally crazy over him anyway. So who cares? Not Jensen, not right now.
A minute later Jensen is lost in a conversation about the merits of white chocolate against dark chocolate but smiles when he feels Jared so much closer than before.
Part 2
New. The new guy.
Again.
It’s the fifth time during his high school career and Jensen is getting tired of it. It’s his senior year and he hopes he’ll be able to finish school here. Here, as in back in his home town, where he was born and grew up for a few years.
Jensen knows his dad is not doing it to punish them or something. It’s his job and when the country calls his dad goes where he’s send. And the Ackles family follows. At least until they can and are allowed to live on their own. Jensen envies his brother sometimes, off to college and living his life. If things go as planned he’ll have that after this year.
Freedom. Settling in somewhere and staying for as long as he wants, or at least for four years.
He sighs, sinks down even more in the driver’s seat and watches how a new day starts around him. The school looks okay to him. Nothing like the piece of decaying junk he had to complete his junior year in, after coming back from Europe. Thankfully, it only had been a few months.
This school looks bright, clean brick and white washed stones all the way. There are different parts, several quads and courtyards and he has seen them all already. The principal insisted on showing him around when his dad got him enrolled a few days prior. And the principal actually seemed nice, interested. She had kind eyes and the motherly nature Jensen always associates with Texas for some reason.
Jensen is early. He always is on his first day somewhere. Needs to see who is who, which groups are around and who rules the hierarchy. It’s way easier to settle in somewhere when he knows who to associate with and who to keep away from. It changes every time even of the dynamics in high school always stay the same. But Jensen never chooses the same group twice.
It’s kind of a game for him now. Looking for a group he’s never been in before and trying to see if he can find a way in. It’s like creating new versions of himself every single time and so far it’s never been boring.
So he always watches first and the acts.
He wonders if it’ll be the jocks this time or the drama club or even being an outsider. For some reason he has the feeling that fitting with the masses will work out better than playing any kind of rebel. For a second he’s glad that the red hair experiment disaster from spring didn’t leave any traces, scratches his fingers through his short hair and takes in the scenes around him.
The sun’s already high in the sky, the last of summer trying its best to melt everything and everyone in its wake. It’s going to be a hot day and Jensen finds the first thing he loves about his new school. Well, the first two, shadowy places provided by a lot of trees on the school grounds and the fact that he knows there will be an AC in every room.
Jensen loves Texas, even the heat and the sun glaring from the sky. He’s unreasonably happy to be back again after years spent traveling from one country to the next. He’s a diplomat’s child through and through but he knows where his roots are and he has missed being close to them.
Jensen smiles when he remembers his Gran and how she had almost screamed when they showed up at her doorstep a month ago. His grandparents are awesome and being able to live with them again is better than he could have imagined. He sometimes feels guilty for never even thinking about how liberal they’ve always been and doubting them on the way over to Texas.
He blinks at the people outside, in a world of their own right now, excluding him and not even seeing him watching them. He wonders if it’ll be a problem here. It’s Texas after all. Then dismisses the thought, because it’s not important right now.
His dad’s promise to finally settle down here, to make sure that Jensen and Mackenzie can find friends and actually have a home, is still in his ears. And for all the chances Jensen has to enter the Ivy League, he plans on attending UT next fall.
Music’s playing softly, volume turned low so he could hear the navigation system. He cringes when he looks at the screen but he’s never driven from one end of town to the other. He’s never driven a car in this town at all. The music is something rocky, nothing he particularly cares about but it’s soothing and he needs it now.
Jensen isn’t really nervous, more like a mixture of excitement and anxiety. He hates being the new one but he’s used to it by now.
More and more kids arrive; group off in front of the main entrance and at first Jensen thinks it’s the usual. There are the jocks, being loud and boisterous, the drama club kids having their heads together probably plotting something, then there are the geeks, and the Goths and the… Punks. Okay.
The usual picture someone would expect in front of a high school.
But then, and Jensen has to admit he’s surprised to see it at all, there are the cheerleaders. And not a small amount of guys in cheer get up as well. And they are mixed in with the jocks and it looks very normal.
Then people start to mingle, to talk and laugh and jostle each other with not regard to any of the groups they are supposedly in. Jensen feels himself gawking and has to shake himself out of it.
Maybe this school is a little different after all. He’s suddenly looking forward to starting anew. But for the first time in a long time Jensen isn’t sure how to approach this school. He hasn’t seen any kind of way how to fit in yet, which group to choose and it unsettles him a little.
When the first bell sounds, he turns the radio off, grabs his back and gets out of the car.
***
The hallways are busy, bustling with people and Jensen thinks everyone around here either is early like himself or arrives exactly on time. He has to get his schedule first now, couldn’t get it earlier since there had been a problem with the system.
The vice principal’s office is at the end of the first long hallway, directly opposite form the principal’s and Jensen tries not to find it amusing but he has met the vice principal, too. And he can imagine why Mrs. Padalecki wants him to be as far away from her as she can manage.
The receptionist is a different one from last time. She eyes him curiously and Jensen frowns a little. This is not the way he wants to be looked at on his first day.
“Hi. Name’s Jensen Ackles. Mr. Speight told me to check in on my first day.”
Jensen almost laughs at the way her face falls. It’s an ego boost that she thought he was a teacher and not a student.
“Uh… just a minute. Please, have a seat.”
Jensen smirks, flops down and sprawls out. He can be mean when he wants to and this is too much fun to pass up on the opportunity. A little teasing is half the fun anyway. And the slight blush on her cheeks is reward enough. She’s still young, probably barely out of high school herself but Jensen’s not interested. At all.
The plastic chair is surprisingly comfy but he still hopes that this won’t take long. He really doesn’t want to be the last one in class. The clock on the wall tells him that he still has about fifteen minutes. It should be okay.
He lets his eyes wander, trace the pin walls and team banners along the offices walls and out in the hallway. There are flyers for extracurricular activities and they actually look interesting, even from afar. Jensen decides that the team names aren’t as stupid as they could have been. He can see himself as a Maverick. It kind of fits.
There’s a small cough a minute later and the blush on the receptionist’s cheeks flares up again when he looks at her and raises an eyebrow.
“Mr. Speight will see you now, Mr. Ackles.”
Jensen rises slowly and smiles.
“Thanks, honey.”
Jensen loves that he doesn’t have to hide his Texan heritage anymore. No one here will mock him for it.
***
Energy. Do you have it? Save it!
Jensen blinks at the colorful flyer tacked to his locker, looks around to see it hanging from every single one in the hallway. He pulls it loose and checks it out. He’s curious.
You’ll need it even more now. reads the next page and when Jensen turns it all the way around he’s torn between groaning out loud, laughing and rolling his eyes.
The last page of the flyer says BECAUSE IT’S TRYOUT TIME AGAIN!!! Join the cheer squad, feel the Energy.
He snorts, puts the flyer into his locker and grabs his notebook. His first day is almost over and only the journalism course is left now. Jensen’s looking forward to it and is glad that this school offers something like this.
As far as ‘first days at school’ go this one was okay so far. He has caught himself several times enjoying being at school again. He doesn’t really mind being jostled in busy hallways, being looked at curiously or ignored by most of the students. It’s actually okay because he feels good.
It’s probably due to the fact that he’s mostly ahead in the subject matters, thanks to the schools in Europe and his mom’s insistence to keep up with the US high school curriculum wherever they lived at the time. And when he’s behind it’s thankfully not too far. He’ll catch up fast.
If he can concentrate that is.
First day and Jensen finds himself on the way to being infatuated already. It’s not supposed to be like this, not on the very first day without him knowing anybody. But then he got into Advanced American Literature and knew he wouldn’t be able to follow the lesson.
He was not sitting in the back of the class like he usually is but in the middle of the window row. And there was this guy sitting right in front of him. A certain kind of energy surrounded him and Jensen felt himself being drawn toward it. He seemed nice, outgoing, smiling and talking to everyone. Even to Jensen, if only to say a friendly hello.
Just the smile alone would have drawn Jensen in, the dimples and bright eyes were doing rest of the convincing. Floppy brown hair, muscled arms and strong thighs and the fact that the kid was tall as fuck didn’t hurt either. He was gorgeous. Jensen was staring.
During class Jensen eyes kept sliding back to the guy in front of him. He took the broad shoulders in, the bouncing leg that the guy can’t seem to keep still, the head constantly turning towards the blond guy next to him.
The whole time Jensen thought how amazing it was that ‘tall guy’ could answer everything blond guy asked but never seemed to lose his place on the page of the book they were discussing during the lesson.
Jensen caught himself staring at dark brown in particular. It seemed out of order but then tall guy kept shaking his head and every strand seemed to be rearranged anyway. Jensen had to force himself not to stare but those shoulders underneath a school team shirt and those long legs in ripped denim were very enticing.
At the end of the end of his first day, Jensen stands in the hallway and thinks of bright hazel eyes, long legs and a killer smile. He finds himself smiling at the colorful flyers and kind of likes how things are starting around here.
This will be an interesting year. He’s sure of it.
***
Victory will be ours! We will have the right team! Join us! Tryouts next Friday!
At the end of the first week, Jensen has seen it all. Well, all the banners and flyers and stickers advertising the tryouts for James Madison’s cheer team. The season hasn’t even started yet but Fridays already seem to be all about sports.
At first he had thought it would be way too early to start tryouts but then someone told him how popular teams were around here and that things had to be started early to get it all done on time for the season.
Jensen’s not sure if he wants to join any team, not to say the cheer team, yet. He’s always liked being part of a team and doing fun things. But it’s only been a week and he doesn’t really know anybody yet. And for some reason he’s happy with his journalism class and the prospect of joining the drama club.
As everywhere Jensen has been to school, team spirit is very important around James Madison as well. Only this time Jensen doesn’t feel his usual contempt towards it. Sure, the flyers and colors are a bit much sometimes, but people seem to love it and are enthusiastic about it without it going overboard. It’s nice for a change.
If Jensen had to describe it, he would say it feels real around here. Like people really like what it’s all about and support their teams no matter what. There’s of course the football team, then there’s soccer and baseball, as well as basketball, tennis and swimming. Then there’s the cheer team and those guys seem to be very, very fond of their sense of team spirit.
Jared is part of it. Jared - that is 'tall guy'.
Jared has been handing out flyers and stickers all week, has reminded people of every single try out there is. Jared is playing baseball, swims and helps out the cheer team when they are short a strong guy. When Jensen learned about it, all he could do was stare and endure Chris’ laughter and pat - well more like a hit really - on the back.
Chris is in his bio and chemistry classes, and they hit it off immediately. He’s a little grumpy most of the times but has been very helpful. He’s on the football team and has introduced Jensen to some people already.
Chris is now standing right next to him while they watch people almost fighting to get to the sign-up sheets first. Jensen sort of finds it hilarious and a little frightening at the same time. Looking around, Jensen is actually amazed that he knows most of the people. Probably due to Chris and his connections. The guy seems to know everyone around school or at least someone who knows someone else.
Chris knows Jared, too. That’s how Jensen has known Jared’s name at the end of his first day at school, how he now knows that Jared plans on joining the drama club and the school paper as well. That’s how Jensen came face to face with Jared on his second day and found himself instantly attracted to the guy’s voice and even more so to his wide smile.
Jensen has been silently berating himself for going mute around Jared ever since. Chris found it funny, so much that he still teases Jensen about it. And the weirdest thing about it all is that Jensen doesn’t even mind, either the mocking from Chris or his own inability to really talk around Jared. Jensen, for the first time in a while, feels like the average American teenager. He kind of likes it.
“Victory!
Jensen cringes. His ears ring and he glares a little at Chris, who only smirks back. Chris usually isn’t a loud guy but when it comes to things he likes Jensen starts to learn to not stand too close to Chris. The guy can be very enthusiastic then. Especially when Chris is excited.
“Excited much?” Jensen smiles and doesn’t even try to hide the sarcasm, likes that Chris always gets it and takes it the way Jensen means it. Jensen already has the reputation as the ‘sarcastic new guy from Europe’. He’d feel insulted if it wasn’t always said with a little tongue in cheek. People know he’s Texan bred.
Jared had actually doubted it at first. And Jensen still feels some kind of victory at the fact that Jared’s eyes grew wide at Jensen’s deep drawl. In fact, Jensen feels gleeful about it. He knows he should interpret too much into it but Jared seemed … well at least not ignorant. Interested would probably a too strong a word to use
.
“Fuck off, Ackles. Tryouts will be great this year. So much to watch. All those freshmen and then you.”
“Me?” Jensen frowns. He really hadn’t thought about trying out for any team yet.
“’Course, man. Saw your Cowboys pin on your bag. Football’s so your thing. Or maybe even the cheer squad.”
Chris slides smoothly out of the way when Jensen tries to hit him and grins. He’s been on Jensen’s case ever since he found him staring at Jared during one memorable lunch break. Jensen tries not to think about it anymore. The Bolognese stains are still on one of his fav t-shirts.
And of course it’s the exact moment that Jared bounces by, literally and Jensen feels the blush creep up on his cheeks. He’s glad Chris doesn’t seem to mind it at all.
“Mop up the drool when you’re done starin’, would’ya?” Chris’ smirk is devilish. It scares Jensen a little. He doesn’t know the guy all that well yet.
“Oh come on, don’t look at me like that, Jenny-bean. Jared doesn’t mind. Believe me. Oh and he so wouldn’t mind you on the cheer team either,” it’s all said with a wink but Jensen thinks Chris actually means every single word. Jocks aren’t really jocks around here.
Jensen starts to realize how different things really are. Chris just pats him on the back and drags him over to the sign-up sheets. Jensen still isn’t sure if he even wants to join any team. But looking at the options won’t hurt anybody.
***
Friends. He needs more of those. Really. How is he supposed to finish all the homework and be social when he doesn’t have enough friends to help him out?
Jensen sighs, lets his head thunk against his desk a few times and then sighs some more. Homework is the ban of every teenager’s existence and he has a lot of it right now. It’s Friday and Jensen is trying to get things done as fast and as good as possible.
It’s a rule his parents set up in the early school years. Homework has to be done on Friday if they wanted to have the weekend off. Jensen still sticks by it. And it’s his own fault that there is so much of it right now. He could have started the book review earlier or solved the math problems during lunch already - like Jared suggested instead of goofing around with Chris.
So really, it’s his own damn fault. He lets his head fall against the desk again and breathes in deeply. His head hurts a little and he thinks the words on the pages are swimming into each other. But it’s not yet done and it’s only six anyway. Enough time to go out later still.
Going out will only be possible if he gets things done, though. Jensen picks his pen up and goes back to taking notes and rearranging analytical paragraphs into something that makes more sense. It takes him another hour to get it done.
Math is just a small obstacle on his way to freedom. Once his done, Jensen flops down on the bed and thinks about calling Chris or Katie or even Mike to see what’s up for the evening. After two months, Jensen’s relieved that he seems to fit in just fine at James Madison. He didn’t even have to pick a certain group this time.
The people he hangs out with now are a mix of different characters, interests and personalities. Clichés, group mentality and the usual high school rivalries don’t seem to count. Jensen actually likes it this way. And he thinks Mrs. Padalecki is partly to blame for it. Her son is doing the rest of keeping the school liberal and open-minded.
Jared Padalecki still features in almost every one of Jensen’s wet dreams. And every time Jensen has to talk to Mrs. Padalecki, which happens often enough since the Principal is also still teaching and is helping out with the journalism course, Jensen feels bad about perving over her son.
Stretching out on his bed, Jensen flexes his muscles a little to get right of the knot in his shoulder but hisses at the pain it causes. Training has been hard today and Jensen thinks it’s not really his thing just yet. Sure, he loves football but starting this early and going full steam is taking a toll on him. He’s having fun though, happy that the team accepted him.
He’s still not sure why he let Chris and then Jared talk him into tying out in the first place. But when it turned out okay and felt good, Jensen didn’t even feel annoyed at their constant mocking and telling him they told him so.
“Jensen?” His mom calls through the door and then knocks. All the Ackles children appreciate their parents take on privacy.
“Yes. Come in.”
The door opens slowly and then his mom is poking her head in. She smiles and looks impressed that he seems to be done with everything.
“How are you doing, honey?”
“Good. Done with the review and math. Only need to go over my presentation notes for tomorrow.” Jensen shrugs. His mom nods and then smiles a little wider.
“Good. Because there’s a friend of yours waiting downstairs in the kitchen.”
He isn’t expecting anyone. The only ones who know his address are Chris, Steven and Katie. And only because they drove him home last weekend.
“Chris?” Jensen asks his mom and frowns when she shakes her head.
“No. It’s Jared. He asked if you wanted to come out to the bonfire.”
Jared? Jared knows where he lives? This little flutter his heart does, it’s been doing that for a while now. And Jensen doesn’t even try to ignore it anymore. He has resigned himself to the fact that he’s got a little crush on Jared. Wouldn’t be the first time he does that with someone he goes to school with. He’s a teenager after all.
His mom raises an eyebrow and waits for him to say something. Only then does Jensen realize that he has been staring, mouth open and eyes wide. It’s not embarrassing at all. And seeing his mom smirk at him does do much to let his blush recede.
“So? Do you want to go?”
“Uh… Yes, sure. Can I?”
His mom outright grins now and Jensen thinks his answer has been a little too enthusiastic. For a moment he thinks his mom will mock him the same way Chris does every day but then her smirk softens into a smile and she nods.
“Just make sure all of your school work is done by Sunday evening. Go on. Have fun, Jensen.”
“Thanks momma.”
“Be careful and enjoy.” The twinkle in her eyes says that she knows something is up with him and that it has something to do with Jared. Jensen so isn’t ready for having this talk now.
Jensen is up from the bed, kissing his mom’s cheek and sliding out of the room and down the stairs so fast that he barely even hears his mom’s laughter following him.
The blush is still there when he catches a glimpse of himself in the hallway mirror. He grimaces and then stumbles over a pair of Mackenzie’s shoes. Jared’s munching on a cookie when Jensen almost falls through the kitchen door. The first thought Jensen has is that it’s so like his momma to feed everyone that sets foot into their house.
“Oh, hey. Hi, Jensen.” Jared tries swallow first and speak the but kind of fails. Jensen thinks it should be this cute, watching someone spraying cookie crumbs all over the place. Jared even smiles a little sheepishly and cleans off the counter top.
“Hey, Jared.”
“Uh... your mom’s awesome, dude. These cookies are heaven,” Jared gushes and Jensen has to laugh. Those are his favorite cookies and he sort of really adores the fact that Jared seems to like them just as much.
“That they are. So? Bonfire?”
“Oh … right. I smacked Chris for forgetting to tell you about it. Also told the girls that they are bad friends. They should have reminded me or Chris to tell you. I live just across the street, so I thought I drop by and ask if you wanted to join us.”
Jared’s looking at him through his bangs, shuffles his feet a little and goes for the all innocent look. Jensen knows it’s mostly just a mask. One that admittedly works very well but Jared’s so far from innocent it’s not even decent anymore. The guy has a mouth on him that makes Chris blush and that says a lot.
But still, Jared looks so hopeful that Jensen smiles. “Okay. Cool.” And he’s back to not being able to say more than two words to Jared. He’d thought his little mute phase was over when he actually realized that talking to Jared was far less mortifying then coming across as a total creep when staying mute. But sometimes those little reminders of the first week show through.
Jared’s grinning now, wide and happy. Jensen can just blink at the dimples. He’s a lost cause and he knows it. Jared grabs a few more cookies and actually bodily drags Jensen out of the house. Jensen’s mom’s “have fun, boys” follows them out and Jensen can only do so much a not to stumble over his own feet.
Sometimes, Jared’s speed is amazing.
“Thanks. For… well, for inviting me,” Jensen says, not sure why but feels like he has to put it out there. It’s Jared and they aren’t exactly friends yet but maybe on the way to becoming them.
“It’s what friends are for,” Jared answers, suddenly all calm and serious. Jensen refuses to believe that something like mind reading exists, but sometimes Jared comes really close to making him doubt his own beliefs.
Jensen’s heart skips a little at Jared’s words. Jensen tries not to think too much of it.
***
Laughter fills the air and Jensen is close to tears.
He leans back against the head rest and thinks about how awesome things are right now.
Jared’s car is kind of awesome and Jared is kind of awesome, too. Jensen doesn’t really remember the last time he laughed this much. It’s been a month since the bonfire and Jensen’s final initiation into the group that is now Jensen’s new family.
Jared’s giggling as well, gripping the steering wheel tightly and tries not to drive them off the road. Jensen’s not even user anymore what they are laughing about, only that it happens a lot lately when he and Jared spend time together.
Jared will tell him all about growing up with people like Chad, Chris, Mike and Katie around, and Jensen reciprocates with stories of his own about being a diplomat’s child. They end up laughing tears more often than not and Jensen loves.
Jared has wormed his way into Jensen’s life. And Jensen doesn’t really know where to place or hide his growing feelings for the other boy. He feels caught between just building up a friendship, that’s already one of the closest he’s ever had or pursuing something more.
Jared’s as open-minded as one can be. Loves to flirt with everyone and everything. And, Jared is very tactile. Jensen never knows how to take his touches, the way Jared sometimes looks at him, because most of the times Jared doesn’t follow through. And if confuses the hell out of Jensen.
It’s not like Jensen’s out or anything. So far he thinks only Chris and Katie have figured it out … and maybe Jared as well. But Jensen doesn’t really see a reason to just put it out there when everyone seems to act like no one cares about those things anyway. He’s still the new guy after all and he really doesn’t want to test if people around here are really as liberal as they say they are.
The old Ford truck is rumbling beneath him and Jensen blinks when Jared sighs and wipes tears out of his eyes. It’s a miracle the car is still on the road. He feels the busted seat under his thigh, wiggles a bit around and sinks back against the seat again. They are on their way to Chad’s for another one of their already famous DVD evenings.
It’s still early in the evening but it’s already dark outside, fall already fading into winter. Thanksgiving is only a week away and everyone gets ready for the Christmas holidays as well. And Jensen is looking forward to the time off. His grandparents will be coming down from Dallas and he can’t wait to have his grandma baking Christmas cookies and making pudding from scratch.
“Where are you?”
“Huh? Oh, just thinking about Christmas. My grandparents are coming and I haven’t seen them in way too long.”
Jared sends him a small smile and it has Jensen’s stomach clenching and his heart skipping. Jensen hates feeling like a love sick fool but then he doesn’t really.
“Wanna hear a story about Chad jumping into a kiddie pool from the roof or our garage on Christmas?”
And just like that Jensen is laughing again.
***
“Family! Man, I’m so glad I can hide out here. Thanks, man.” Chris sighs. Jensen only grins and hands over a can of Coke.
“You’re welcome. Is it really that bad?” Jensen knows that Chris’ family is special, artists and football players, cowboys and southern belles. They are a loving family but sometimes Chris has to get away and Jensen won’t be the one turning him away. Especially not on Christmas Eve.
“Naw. But had to get away for a while. Am not bothering, am I?”
Jensen shakes his head, he has told Chris often enough that it’s okay for him to come over. Jensen’s momma has told Chris so several times as well. So Chris should now.
“Because I’d totally understand if you want to go back to drooling over Jared. I know you, Jenny-bean. Spent all day mooning over, didn’t you?”
“Don’t call me that.”
“That’s the only concern you have? Not denying your epic crush on our Principal’s son?”
“Why should I? You won’t stop with it anyway. I’ll rather save my energies for something else.” The second Jensen says it; he knows it’s the wrong thing. Chris’s grins turns from gleeful to downright devilish. It can’t mean anything good.
“I see. Don’t do it too often, might make you blind.”
“Oh for heaven’s sake, Christian.”
Chris burst into laughter, loud and burling and Jensen can’t help but join in a minute later. They are sitting there, on the back deck of Jensen’s parent’s house on Christmas Eve and are laughing like hyenas.
“God, Jenny. You just sounded like your mom.”
“I’ll take that as compliment, Christian.”
Jensen doesn’t jump because he saw his momma approaching through the door. He laughs even more when Chris does jump and scrambles up to start apologizing to Jensen’s mom. It’s hilarious and a sight to behold. He thinks he’s never seen Chris blush and wishes he had his cell phone or his camera with him.
“Dude! Could have warned me,” Chris grumps when Jensen’s mom is back inside after having handed out fresh cookies and coffees. It smells like Christmas out here now and Jensen takes a deep breath. Fresh Texan air and the flavor of coffee on his tongue, the stars out to be watched and family all around. Jensen feels content
.
“Why? You keep calling me Jenny. This was a little pay back. My mom loves you anyway.”
“Not as much as she loves Jared, though.”
“Chris.” Jensen doesn’t know where this is going. He takes a sip of his coffee but doesn’t look at Chris, who’s no one of the best friend’s he’s ever had. But they never really talk about that topic before, only joked but never got deeper. Suddenly, Jensen’s afraid of what’s to come.
“Jensen. I’ve seen her doting on the boy. They know, don’t they?”
And Jensen doesn’t even have to ask what Chris is talking about. He knows and feels his shoulder sack in relief.
“Yeah,” he nods. “My whole family knows. Have since I was about thirteen and was so damn in love with my French teacher that no one could overlook it anymore.”
Chris snorts, leans back against the wooden railing circling the deck and shakes his head.
“Your French teacher? Really? Could you be anymore cliché?”
“I know, right? To save my and his virtue, he was from Montana and on a missionary trip through Europe.”
That has Chris braying in laughter again. Jensen grins. The sit there for a little while longer, enjoy the coffee and talk about nothing and the world. It feels good and Jensen feels at home, like he’s finally arrived.
“You should talk to Jared.” Chris is looking at him now, serious and a little less giddy than just a minute before.
“’Bout what?”
“Jensen?”
“No, really. About what? We’ve just become friends, Chris. And he’s now going out with Sandy. So what exactly should I talk to him about? I won’t be the one getting in between them. Especially not what he’s so damn happy,” Jensen sighs.
It kind of hurts to talk about it but there isn’t really anything he can do anyway. Jared’s going out with Sandy now, has been for a week. And Jensen will be an awesome friend and support him. He tells Chris as much and is grateful for the lack of pity in his eyes.
“Yeah, okay. I get it. Just thought … well, I don’t even know anymore,” Chris shrugs and Jensen nods.
“Well, way to ruin the mood, asshat.”
Chris laughs then pats him on the head and gets up. He walks inside to say goodbye to Jensen’s parents then comes back out, hugs Jensen and hands a little package over. When Jensen does the same, they both laugh.
“Merry Christmas, man.”
“Merry Christmas, Chris.”
***
Banter is all there is today.
It’s just what they sometimes do, banter and bicker and shoot the shit. All of them. This time they’re curled up on Jensen’s bed, on the floor in front of it, in the chair at his desk and in the loveseat that his brother wanted to take to college with him but never did in the end.
It’s a day before New Year’s Eve and they ended up at Jensen’s because all of his new friends have gotten addicted to Jensen’s momma’s Christmas cookies. And Jensen’s mom is eating up the attention. She approves of Jensen’s friends and for some reason it makes Jensen feel even more at home.
They were supposed to plan a party but never got as far until the cookies appeared and everyone sort of fell into some kind of food coma. Jared’s curled up next to Jensen on the bed and is flicking through one of Jensen’s favorite books.
The picture alone makes Jensen swallow hard and wish things were easier. Chris casts him looks from time to time. Sometimes full of understanding and compassion, never pity though. But sometimes the look is intense, eyebrows raised as if he wants to say something important to Jensen. Only Jensen doesn’t get what.
Sandy’s there as well, curled around Katie on the floor and riffling through Jensen’s CD collection, as if CDs are so far in the past that they don’t even know anymore what those are. Mike’s almost asleep in Jensen’s desk chair, probably high on tea and cinnamon rolls. Chad’s in the love seat and texting Sophia.
Why Jared’s on his bed and not down on the floor with Sandy is kind of beyond Jensen. He doesn’t get it and it confuses him.
“Hey, Jenny-bean …”
“Fuck you, Murray. Don’t call me that.” Jensen’s actually annoyed. More because of how things are with Jared than about Chad imitating Chris, but whatever.
Jared snorts but doesn’t look up from the book. Jensen feels the vibrations through the mattress and tries not to lean any closer to Jared than he already is.
“Sorry, man… just wanted to ask if you have any chocolate around. Sophia is on her way and she’s craving it. Guess her shift wasn’t so great,” Chad just shrugs and goes back to texting. Chris next to him is trying not let his laughter escape through the hand in front of his mouth.
“I hate you,” Jensen mouths at him and glares when Chris has to hide his face against his arm. Shoulders shaking make it clear that Chris is losing it. At least he’s trying to do it silently.
“I like the nickname, even though I do like Jensen better,” is mumbled against the shell of his ear and Jensen really tries hard not to shiver Jared’s voice is low, deep drawl and slurred words. It’s what Jensen fell for during his week at James Madison and it’s still what makes Jensen weak in the knees. Jensen’s seriously glad to be already lying down.
He turns, slowly, so that he doesn’t move even closer to Jared. And then smacks him up the head. The room explodes into laughter and Jared’s indignant squawking makes Jensen giggle - in a really manly way.
Chris winks at him and Jensen actually feels good again.
“Chocolates down in the kitchen. Text her that she should just ask my mom,” Jensen finally answers Chad’s question and receives a salute in return. Looking around the room, Jensen thinks that this is a very weird bunch but that they somehow fit together.
“I do like Jensen as a name.” Jared actually pouts when Jensen looks at him again. The book is lying face down on Jared’s chest and Jared keeps rubbing the spot where Jensen hit him
“Glad to know that, Paddywhack.”
Jared blinks, hoist himself up onto his elbows, then blinks some more and then bursts into laughter as well. Everyone else is silent though and Jensen wonders what’s up with that. He looks at Chris, who’s again trying to hide a brought smile behind his arm but is looking back at Jensen this time. There’s a wink again and Jensen frowns.
“Dude, haven’t heard that one since junior high. Always hated it. But you saying it, it actually sounds funny. Guess Chad told you, huh?”
Jensen is kind of lost now.
“Uhm... no. No one told me.”
“Really? Wow… that’s kinda cool then,” Jared grins and then flops back down onto Jensen’s bed. It’s quiet for second or two and then Katie and Sandy thankfully start to argue about the value of one of Jensen’s CDs. It sets everyone else off; too and soon the room’s filled with banter and bickering again.
Jensen doesn’t know what compels him to say it but just seeing Jared likes this, relaxed and smiling up to him makes his brain run away with ideas Jensen doesn’t even know he had.
“I wouldn’t mind Jen so much. Even if it sounds way too girly.”
“Hmmm… but it fits. You are damn pretty after all.”
“Fuck you.” But Jensen’s fighting a blush again and Jared’s grinning all-knowing and cocky. It shouldn’t be sexy but then Jensen is totally crazy over him anyway. So who cares? Not Jensen, not right now.
A minute later Jensen is lost in a conversation about the merits of white chocolate against dark chocolate but smiles when he feels Jared so much closer than before.
Part 2