Comments | icecream4ciara: For Those Who Have Married-

icecream4ciara

For Those Who Have Married-

Jan 25, 2008 00:02

What do I do? What shouldn't I do? What did you not expect? What mistakes didn't seem like mistakes, untill they were complete? What should I be asking, and who? What surprised you? What should I be prepared for? What is easier, or more difficult than you expected? How do I make it last? How long have you been married/When were you married? Do ( Read more... )

Comments 7

flower76 January 25 2008, 05:19:06 UTC

Well, we've only been married for two years, but we've been together for over... um... seven? Eight? I don't remember exactly. No kids.

I can say not to expect anything in your relationship to change after the wedding. What you see is what you get. So if you have a great relationship before the wedding, you should have one after the wedding too. But if you have any issues to work out, those issues will still be there.

And that a marriage is a choice. Longevity is earned through making the choice to be married every day.

As for the rest of it... every relationship is different. And you are one of the most different gals I know, so I wouldn't dare hazard any further advice! :)

alive49 January 25 2008, 05:39:09 UTC

I agree with the above comment that every relationship is different. I'd say the big thing are keeping the lines of communication open and always respecting the other person. All relationships have ups and down, but it's how you deal with the downs that's important. As you already know, we have no kids, but we've been together for a little over 5 years and have been married for a little over 3.

Good luck! :)

(The comment has been removed)

icecream4ciara February 9 2008, 07:39:20 UTC

I hope Robin will be there! We are coming to a state near yours!- If we don't have a wedding per se in MN, we'll have a party there... I miss you like a naked potato misses butter and sour cream!

aazzaadeh January 25 2008, 20:03:36 UTC

Well, I'm not married yet, but I'm at least up to my ankles (swiftly approaching knee deep) in wedding planning...I've mostly been surprised how farkin' expensive everything can be. Are you still in the Chicago area? We originally planned to have it out there but changed it to Iowa when we found that most places would charge us $3k+ just for the privilege of using the space for the ceremony. Also, about comments seem pretty sound to me. Not being married yet, I can't say what happens after "I do", but we've been together for almost 6 years now and have been through our share of ups and downs. Communicate! Often and thoroughly. If you're having an issue, talk about it right away, otherwise it's not likely to get fixed. No one is a competent mind-reader all the time, even if there seems to be evidence to the contrary. *nods*

icecream4ciara February 9 2008, 07:40:57 UTC

Gosh, you haven't even met this guy! But I bet you're right, having not been married myself.

twindaw January 25 2008, 22:16:51 UTC

I can answer all of the questions, obviously, but the answers aren't important.

Marriage isn't 50/50, it's 100/100 and the point in time when it stops being 100/100 is when the problems start. You will both always need to be working on keeping eachother as well as yourselves happy. There is always something to work on and communicate, communicate, communicate-- there are ALWAYS things to talk about, even if you feel like the situation is dire and nothing more can be discussed.

Congratulations, Ciara-- this is wonderful!

icecream4ciara February 9 2008, 07:42:27 UTC

Thankyou Dani.
Every time I see that little Icon of you, even if I don't comment I think "Gosh, she's got cute hair!"