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in which everything blows up.
HELLO. I HAVEN'T POSTED ANYTHING OF VALUE IN MONTHS.
I AM, YOU KNOW, ALRIGHT. EXCEPT THAT I AM GOING CRAZY BECAUSE THINGS. YOU KNOW, THINGS. completely mundane day to day i did not plan or ever even want this for my life type of things ( Read more... ) -
having been fucked is no excuse for being fucked up.
my mother keeps most of her clothes in my closet because she's never really sure where she'll end up. she shows up in the middle of the afternoon, puffy faced and with that look that means she's right on the edge, that a million things have gone wrong in the course of a hour, and she says, "i have fifteen minutes to get to an interview in portland ( Read more... ) -
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that was a lot of time not posting anything. and i didn't even mean to do it on purpose. anyway. i got upset at the same silly thing and let it get to me in the same silly ways, but i'm over it. enough ( Read more... ) -
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i have nothing to say, but this is too important not to note. -
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i don't know how i had it in me to write this, or to ever be this honest about this at all. maybe i am realizing grief. anyway. this is about sydney.
( If your wrists are intact, you are alive. I get to keep your wrists, since you didn‘t want them anymore. ) -
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oh livejournal, how i neglect you ( Read more... ) -
new york i love you but you're bringing me down
i want to swallow stars. i want to feel okay, even when i feel like shit. i want it to be okay to feel like shit because it’s mine. i want to scream out when i am in pain, and let that be enough. i want to live brand new, mouth shut tight on the things that have hurt me because i remain unchanged, unaltered, myself despite everything. i want ( Read more... ) -
i've written pages upon pages trying to rid you from my bones
for my birthday, you took me to the movies. this was a heartbreaking act. my birthday marked exactly one month since i'd moved back home. i know how that sounds. i'm young, and that was a stupid thing to do, living with you. i am always doing stupid things like that. no one can break my heart like i can. for a while, though, it was the most magical ( Read more... )
