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Argh I need to ask my dad when he can drive me up to Chicago on Saturday so I can convey that info to my cousin but we're not really talking bc my mom asked me one time too many HOW MANY JOBS HAVE YOU APPLIED FOR TODAY and I was like uhh I'm working on one right now but none yet and she was like EVERY DAY THE SAME STORY, ( Read more... ) -
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everything would just be better if i had (1) a family that wasn't dead set on micromanaging my life for me, (2) a beard.
srsly. -
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jkjk i'm a dude
being at home fucks with my head so much
it's ridic
if everything goes as planned i'll be outta here on saturday though
thank gawd -
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I ... just tried on some of my old girl clothes. I am currently sitting in my room wearing the dress I wore to high school graduation and a cardigan and feeling very confused.
For the first time in a long time I remember why I thought I could enjoy being a straight girl and just, I don't know. I could be this. I could like being this. I think. This ( Read more... ) -
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The glasses I bought today have lavender accents and I worry that this is a thing that will prevent me from getting read as male and I hate that this is a thing I worry about.
And I was there with my dad cuz I couldn't drive cuz my glasses were broken and he and the sales guy were talking back and forth the whole time SHE this and SHE that and I ( Read more... ) -
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on the plus side i think i did quite well on the gre today.
with the possible exception of the essays, because, ugh, i hate writing bullshit five-paragraph essays and am also not that great at it, especially under time constraints.
don't get my final scores until nov 10 -
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also i hate how i have to constantly be in damage control mode around my parents, right, like i was browsing idealist.org for jobs earlier today and letting my mom look over my shoulder and i was just soo hyper conscious the whole time of how i was signed in and how the upperleft of the screen said "hi, simon!" and like i kept like scrolling right ( Read more... ) -
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cannot fucking log on to fb without seeing things like "Just short of 25,000 words on my novel!" and it makes me sick I JUST WANT TO CREATE THINGS THAT ARE BEAUTIFUL AND MEANINGFUL AND ARTISTIC but I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T and i am so fucking worthless and inept i hate it.
sigh. -
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i'm scaring myself with this grad school talk
part of me is thinking, toosoon toosoon toosoon
part of me is thinking, this shit will not make me any more employable
part of me is thinking, i cannot avoid the real world forever
part of me is thinking, how can i even be sure this is what i want to study
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and then there's the part of me that's spending ( Read more... ) -
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dudez. they've changed the gre scoring system so now each section's out of 170 instead of 800. as of last month. SO MUCH WTF ( Read more... )