My son is far too adorable and sweet. We've been playing all day. He wore me out. Now I'm hoping to squeeze in a nap. If no nap, at least I'll get more awesome bonding time.

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I'm on a mood stabilizer. I've been on it for 3 weeks. I was beginning to wonder why I was getting increasingly tired all the time. Then, just recently it dawned on me that it's a common side effect of the medication. It also explains why I've been getting better and better at handling the divorce. The more tired I am, the more mellow and calm I am ( Read more... )

He finally asked where his Dad is, yesterday. He saw a commercial for Stuffies & asked for one. I said, "You have to ask your Dad." (Because money is tight for us ( Read more... )

I take what I said about psychosis back. He's a narcissist. It's obvious he was lying/faking it to get out of being caught in a lie. ... He's sick. ... And pathetic.

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When we took James to the doctor, Lucien and I waited in the car. He was so cute. He kept playing with the windows and wiper blades. Then, he made me pretend I was Mommy crab & he was baby crab. And, of course, in his imagination, crab families hug all the time. Our seats were the beach and the floor was the ocean. After, Uncle James took us to ( Read more... )

I keep trying to put on a brave face, to be strong. And yet, every day, I lock myself in my room and cry & cry.

I'm so ducking tired and can never sleep. I'm hungry, and yet everything I eat makes me sick.

There are no words for this.

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It's hard not to be simultaneously depressed and angry.

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Got lots of cleaning done today. Shampooed the carpet in my son's room. Also, I started moving my clothes from the basement to the bedroom. (Yes, I wasn't allowed to use the bedroom closet or dresser. Both were completely filled with my husband's stuff.) And, I wiped off/washed all of my son's toys and did a ton of laundry. Busy, busy day ( Read more... )

As time goes on, I feel more and more pity for my husband. I don't think he'll ever find happiness, at least not with the goals and ambitions he currently has. It's impossible for a person to have everything they want, and he won't be satisfied with anything less.

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After lots considering, I don't want Kirk back. He's done a LOT of really ducked up things to me and our son over the years. It's actually pretty much the same or better with him gone. I've done a lot of thinking and talking to others. He's either a sociopath or schizophrenic. Either way, he's crazy. He's abused myself and Lucien through SEVERE ( Read more... )