i didn't realize that i missed feeling ridiculously giddy. over what? well a lot of different things. but overall its just happiness. i found some happiness and its like a drug now ( Read more... )

things change
people change
feelings change
thoughts change
intentions change
desires changes
goals change
everything changes

the only thing to do is welcome that change instead of fight it.
change brings new people
new experiances
new feelings
new thoughts

...new happiness

if you stubbled across my last entry maybe you'll find your way to this one. i don't know whether to contact you or leave things where they lie. what you wrote to me, if it was sincere, was meaningful and very big of you. it was nice to see the side of you that i knew was there. cause you have a good heart and the way you choose to act sometimes... ( Read more... )

i've been feeling so good lately. recent events have made things easier to deal with. easier to move on. easier to walk away. somethings should never be forgotten and so many i would welcome the loss of memory. in welcoming a lot of new things, i find myself remembering the old. its funny how the new experiances make you miss the ones you've ( Read more... )

last night it hit me like i never thought it would. i never imagined it would be like this between us. but last night you made it easier for me to move on. im sick of the games and high school behavior. i'm sick of being blamed for everyone else's problems. i have no problem admiting when im wrong. i'm always the first to step up. but there have ( Read more... )

everyone has told me to start over...move on. but how does one start over when im living in the same place and surrounded by the same problems? things have just about hit rock bottom in this house. my sister's are the only ones who talk to me. everyone hold such hostility for me. everything that's wrong or off in our home is blamed on me. it all ( Read more... )

well i now i know what its like to have the one person you invest everything in not give a shit whether you live or die. who will now laugh with their friends at you and about you ( Read more... )

i wanted answers and well i got them. of course they are never what i want to hear. i have no choice but to move on now and start over. it feels like im starting from scratch. i've got nothing to cook with ( Read more... )

its hard to see a person just shut themselves up. turn it all off and walk away. how can that be done? cause i could never imagine doing that. sometimes i wish i could shut things off.
i thought i was doing better...but the memories are just too strong. so is the thought about what i won't have again.

everytime you sneak your way into my head i ( Read more... )

no matter what i decide to do with myself there's this nagging feeling that im missing something. and i just can't seem to kick it. when something you've had for a long time disappears you mourn it. and i guess that's whats goin on now. i've never really mourned much, or for a long time. its always seemed like a waste of time. but not only do i ( Read more... )