i live in south florida. i thought it was supposed to be warm?? im FREEZING!!!!!!!!! boo!

im starting to tinnk im never going to be happy...im so unhappy i feel so alone and so empty so sad so tired frustrated so...depressed...i think that happiness is going to elude me for the rest of my life and that scares me..i dont want to be forty n live alone living in a house with no food except diet coke and green apples i dont want my life to ( Read more... )

it has been so long since ve posted and so much has changed so much has changed i think the last time i posted i was livin with my boyfriend n struggling but managing to keep the anorexia in check....i finally left him...the abuse physical emotional mentally it got to be to much it was so unhealthy i thought i could makeit work thought he wold ( Read more... )

i have tried to stay away for live journal, thinking that if i did, it would help my recovery. i blamed livejournal for my relapses. for my faailure to get better. it has nothing to do with live journal. it has to do with me and stress. this is the only way i know how to deal. to starve. its so depressing that at 19 i have been dealing with this ( Read more... )

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when to the eating disorder doctor. she told me that my life style and the shit that im still doing, despite being "in recovery" are leaving me at risk-at a big risk-for having a heart attack. im 18. she told me that last week, when i purged, and i felt like i was going to have a heart attack, and last week when i could not move, could not get out ( Read more... )

im tired of doing this to them. mom, kellen, IM SO SORRY. im tired of staying honm from school. I WISH THIS WASNT SO HARD. HELPPPPPPPP

i cant stop bursting into tears. and i dont know why. my entire body feels like tis breakting.

i hate this feeling.

why am i doing this.

where the hell is my voice of reasoning?

where the hell is someone to slap me???

Artist: Gabrielle ( Read more... )

apparently my whole family knows about my ed. and thats just..upsetting. i thought my mom my dad, my sisters, and my grandmother-only because i came to her house emaciated and ready for hospitalization. now i come to find out that my brother, my grandparents in florida, my aunts, my sisters boyfriends, the whole nine yards know that jessie is the ( Read more... )