I'm trying to make the best of it, and to be fair, the summer of 2007 is probably the best summer I've had in San Diego since I was 13...but it's coming to an end in more ways than one. Even the friendships that began at the beginning of the summer are beginning to dwindle, apparently people are getting sick of me or I'm getting sick of them, or ( Read more... )

Since I moved to Santa Cruz I've gained purpose and understanding in life that I never thought possible. Now it's standard to have genuine, incredible people around me all the time. The only problem now is struggling to be just as incredible ( Read more... )

I want to say I feel like I'm caught up in yet another vicious cycle. But it's not that bad. I've progressed from somewhere I was before. Last night another realization hit me that I did the right thing. That has been happening a lot lately in fact. When Pablo and I stayed up in OB the other night and talked, everything about it felt right. That ( Read more... )

I'm feeling much better now...probably because Jessica's home and we can support each other wonderfully. I don't feel insane or stupid for the things I'm doing, and meanwhile she helps me fix some of the bullshit I do ( Read more... )

My brother is paralyzed. This affects me in more ways than I'd like to realize. First, of course, is the pain and sorrow I feel for my brother. He'll never be able to walk again, surf, have sex, or live the life he used to love. The only thing I'm thankful for in that aspect is his girlfriend Ila. If I was in his position and alone, I wouldn't be ( Read more... )

Well this weekend I planned on being extremely productive, but out of nowhere I all of a sudden felt the need to pamper myself and do absolutely nothing...which is extremely rare. So after taking a bath for an hour I lit my new fireplace :) baked some cookies and listened to music. It was relaxing and awesome, but now I just feel so useless and ( Read more... )

I almost forgot all about livejournal, there I was wanting to write down everything but worried about who would see it on myspace, then it occured to me, there's no ex boyfriend on livejournal, only friends :) I just need to get Jewell on here now so she can see what's going on in my life and not be totally confused when I leave sad poems for an ( Read more... )

So, I thought this whole "college" thing was supposed to be some uplifting, great experience, but it's in fact, the complete opposite. I discovered today after spending hours reading History and Economics that all college is doing is erasing every good, positive, rational thought I had about the world and showing me every exception and irregularity ( Read more... )

For some reason on livejournal I can't view any entries from friends anymore...Jessica are you just not updating anymore or am I retarded?

Well I thought that maybe the reason I was depressed all the time before was because of the crazy hormones in my birth control...until today. I feel like crap, sad, depressed, lonely, all that good shit in one. And I have absolutely no reason to feel this way. Fuck that. Life Sucks sometimes.