there is so much and nothing going on at the same time. its so weird to have to look for a job, every job i've had before was just like given to me. and all the camps and stuff makes it a little harder. there are so many grad parties, and so many people that i'm going to miss. i'm afraid that i won't keep in touch with them. honestly i'm really ( Read more... )

i'm tired. i had fun raving in the sojka's yard. but now i'm cranky. how did that flip come over? i hate it when people ask a question but then don't listen to the response. but i guess thats most definetly what i did to jj. i felt bad about the facepainting. that poor kid, he took it so well though. what a nice kid.

i've been so irritable lately. i just can't handle stupid people anymore. i lost my tolerence for them. and i've started using the word retarted, alot. not cool. what happened. i don't even understand. its like i think people are dumb because they want to be, like its a choice. they didn't think of it so what. i don't have to bring them down ( Read more... )

yesterday i read something nick wrote like 3 months ago and it was so saddening. i even started crying. part of me wants to yell and be like you weren't there for my side of it. get the story straight. part of me wants him to keep his perspective. some of it like the dad stuff i just want him to know that it tore me up inside. the first day i ( Read more... )

is it wrong to be embarassed by how i acted? is that all this brings? i feel so hypocritical for being embarassed. but i guess its the way it is........

you have to mean what you say. if you don't mean it then dont say it. its that easy. and i mean this, im so disapointed in myself. kids fought and i couldn't stop it. it just happened, and happened, and happened, with breaks so i had time, i was just saddened confused. but no excuses. that was really heart breaking to see. im a failure. i can't ( Read more... )

this is the song of the day. today was not a good day. im in hopes that it gets better ( Read more... )

so many things are up in the air right now.
i don't like it.

i'm good. things are good. homecomming was fun. i'm going to forrestion's next week with emily. so yeah...idk...new stuff...paul got me flowers...and yeah...i could write more about that but i dont really feel like it. i just know that i need to figure some stuff out. and yeah...katie's was fun after...and it was nice to see people like zach and ( Read more... )

sometimes like right now i wish there was someone or i had someone i felt equal enough to talk to about not necessarily important things, but deep things. it just feels like either people are too superior to me or just different from me. mostly its the superiority complex that i have. i feel like almost everyone is dominant to me. but yeah. i want ( Read more... )