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zombie_food

The things they don't teach you in drivers ed.

WARNING: Sneezing while driving could prove to be hazardous to your health, and the health of poorly paid landscapers.

DON'T STEAL THE FRUIT IF THE JUICE ISN'T WORTH THE SQUEEZE!

The meaningful life lessons you learn while watching "The girl next door"...

On why today blows ( Read more... )

SAM HUTCHINS!

Contact me ASAP, I need my ID back!!!!!!

Mondo important.

"I have an itch on my butt. But it's like, in my butt. And I don't really want to touch my butt."

Justine's a fucking scholar. Hahahahaha.

In Atlantic City, if you cross the line, your balls are mine.

Terry Shiavo is dead. Everyone knew it was going to happen, so why are they so outraged?

Hahaha! I love kitties so much.


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My downstairs toilet just exploded with shit. It's a frothing poocano.

I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE GROSSEST SWIRLY EVER!

Absolutely glorious.

Pinkerton girls are fucking retarded. I hope you overdose on drugs, you turd.


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