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William Shatner will destroy us all.
We went to see Kat french kiss a chihuahua today, she put its head in her mouth. Her name was Phoebe and she wore a necklace and a sundress and was smaller than me ( Read more... ) -
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You haven't had an adventure until you've taken a penguin into the bathroom on an airplane. Rocky just couldn't hold it. He sits on the toilet funny 'cause penguins poop horizontally. -
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I'm leavin' on a jet plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaneeeeeeeeee.
Or something like that.
DOn't tell Tomo, it's SECRET. -
Life Lesson #1
Never ever ever ever, no matter how good an idea it seems at the time, try to make microwave popcorn in the toaster oven. -
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I like to brush my teeth while I pee.
It saves time but people look at me strangely when I do it in public.
