part of the reason i moved up to the east coast was because, subconsciously, i want to get in touch with my indian-american roots and meet more indian people my age that i actually get along with. there aren't nearly as many in texas, and they're all so clique-y because they feel the need to stick together for protection.

i went on a date with ( Read more... )

you can never have an ordinary night when you're in hoboken, new jersey.

hoboken is the cute little jersey town with a great view of the city and one square mile of young people, chic restaurants and chill bars.

kelly and i met there, halfway, and had dinner at some new orleans-themed bar/restaurant. i thought of damien the entire time, and of ( Read more... )

i woke up this morning sobbing but they were dry sobs, until i was fully awake and realized that i had been dreaming. then, i really started to sob because i realized that even though i'd been having a nightmare, it was also my reality.

in my nightmare damien invited me over to watch a dvd with some friends. i was at his place (which, in my dream ( Read more... )

the HR guy at work called me to tell me he thinks i should take the rest of the week off and start anew next week. this, naturally, freaked me out. i feel so uncomfortable not working--like a purposeless bum. i'm so afraid that they're just going to write me off as a sickly texas girl who can't take the cold and that when i finally do get back to ( Read more... )

yesterday was my first day at work. i was stoked--i've been waiting to start work for weeks. i get there and they immediately throw me out on a story, which was amazing! unfortunately, i was dressed to be indoors on that 0 degree day. i ended up out with a camerama, in the cold, covering a protest. when i got back, i couldn't function. my body was ( Read more... )

"I feel you know what it's like to be without happiness... but do you know what it's like to be afraid of it? To see the world as so conniving, you cannot take pleasure in the appareance of something good... because you suspect... it is only a painted drop behind which other troubles lie. That has been my life. Every good thing has been a trick. ( Read more... )

i'm in worcester, massachusetts, hanging out with my aunt and uncle for a few days. i'm deathly sick and feel horrible because my uncle has a pacemaker and bad health in general. i hope i don't get him sick. thank god they have a humidifier, which is my new savior up here in the northeast, where heating units dry up my air and make me miserable ( Read more... )

i decided to help catherine out and attend her "personal magnetism 101" seminar.
she desperately needed another woman, so i said i'd help out. it's how she pays the rent...
from 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. it was me, gene--a tall, positive late 30s to mid-40s businesswoman with short hair and lenora, catherine's friend from when they used to teach image ( Read more... )

i'm listening to david gray's "be mine" and i was working out in my tiny room, but now i'm just crying. because i'm pathetic and haven't left my room. i am so lonely.

they played this song at kendra and jacob's wedding and damien put it on a cd for our 5 month anniversary, way back when he did a better job of pretending to give a damn. why won't ( Read more... )

i just realized that i've been sitting here with this $9 tub of slow-churned rocky road ice cream, eating away at the marshmellows and surrounding ice cream. i don't even want to talk about how much i ate. i didn't even realize i was doing this ( Read more... )