Okay, so there's a bit of excitement in my life right now, and it's not even really my excitement, it's Andrew's, but I'm allowed to be excited too, because Dacia, his fiance just told me that I get to be an Aunty to lil Elaina once she's born, which is going to be next month!!!! I'm gonna go ot baby shopping with Maddie today after work, and I'm ( Read more... )

My life consits of dramatic ups and dramatic downs that come on strong and sudden. There was a high, and then quite suddenly I was at an extremely low point just a few days ago. I basically had to call someone in to talk me off s ledge.  They were very bays for me, but I'm doing a bit better now. I was upset to learn that my Aunt's farm was flooded ( Read more... )

I don't want to go home tonight. I need to talk to Andrew...he'll make me feel better about this. And I want to be at Jessie's tonight...but I'll have to call her later. I don't want Atul listening in on my conversation with her. I just....I really don't want to be in that house with that woman tonight. She was incredably out of line last night and ( Read more... )

I absolutely love being right. If you know me even slightly, then you know that. But, this time, I hate that I was right. I hate that I had to give him up, and that in the end he did exactly what I always feared he would do, which was tell me that I'm nothing to him, not worthy of being care for by him. But, I tried to tell him. I tried to explain ( Read more... )

I think I need to say goodbye to someone. They just seem to want something completely different from me than what I can give them, and they keep pulling me in a direction that's farther and farther away from what I really want and need. I know it's going to hurt. It's going to hurt like hell. But, it's needed. It's like cutting off an infected arm ( Read more... )

Here's the thing, there's only been one person in my whole life who hasn't abandoned me or left me utterly broken. And even with him, I was left with a broken heart. Through out my entire life I have been constantly taken advantage of, left, beaten, betrayed, and broken. It's all I know. I've only ever truely trusted one person and it was fate that ( Read more... )

I know, without any doubts in my mind that I love Andrew. Some people are misunderstanding that, though. Probably because back in the day we were pretty much obsessed with eachother. But, no, it's not like that at all. What I truely want from him, is exactly what I'm getting, lately, my best friend back. We fight alot, yeah, and he provokes me, and ( Read more... )

I'm SO confused right now. Thngs are just wierd between Eric and me, and I don't want them that way any more. I know that I like him as more than a friend, but I really wish I didn't. For one, I act differently around him and he acts differently around me, which is nice, but at the same time I hate it. I don't want things to change between us, I ( Read more... )

I'm having a hard time figuring out what it is my heart really wants. I have too many thoughts an feelings inside me right now ( Read more... )

If I have all of these fabulous friends. These great wonderful people surrounding me, then why do I feel so utterly alone right now? How does that work out? My world is unraveling, and I guess I didn't realize how much it was until Amy and I had our big fight. I know I sound like a broken record, but I can't help it. I'm stuck in this rut that I ( Read more... )