this disdain inside keeps growing. i find myself sitting in the dark more and more and i like it. its comforting. makes this enormous void feel manigable. thats what i need. something to manage. so much is out of my grasp and what is i can feel slipping out one finger at a time. nothing to do but think. just sit and think. thinking is overrated. do ( Read more... )

im tearing away. i havent slept in three days and everything is becomming fuzzy around the edges. the once clear points in my life have become nothing more then a phalicy that i cant even hold on to in my sleep anymore. old means to stop new pains seems like a wonderful idea. i need to find a way out of this. i thought i was going to be making ( Read more... )

once again ive done it. returned from an absence and have proven nothing of what i had hoped to. change means nothing without action to either right the wrong or prove the change. in such little time nothing can be solved. nothing more then a mere taste of what was left behind and a profound thought of nothing ever being the same. however is the ( Read more... )

There once was a song called "Arrest the President." Contemporary music. A ( Read more... )

no longer a secret. im leaving Septemper 15th. if you wish to know why then comment me and i will let you know. if you want to know in person let me know and leave your number if i dont have it. if you want to see me before i leave let me know and i will figure out when i can. im going to make something of myself and im glad for the choices ive

no one said life would be easy but no one ever said it would be this hard either.

I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles ( Read more... )

i can no longer see the fire through the smoke.

i have found my new therapy. Body modification.

the past couple of nights ive been brought back to the samne memory. the same place and the same time for too many days in a row. its starting to drag down on me. i remember that day so well though. i hit every spectrum of emotion in less then 2 hours and while i wanted to do nothing more then sit alone in that dewy grass i knew i couldnt do it ( Read more... )