so happy. i can smile from my stomach again. amazing what getting arrested and having 33 days sober does to you. im so blessed to be home again.

god. why is life so hard. i don't even want to write this right now cause it's so hard not to cry. everything is constantly falling apart in my life and most of it has to do with the decisions i make. fuck me dude and my crazy lifestyle. i wish i had strength.

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fuck yeah! its raining!
i'm so high on life right now. its great, damnit.

i'm auditioning for AMDA in a couple months and moving to New York next year. I can't explain how wonderful it feels to finally know what i want to do. I haven't felt this good in such a long time. i'm so happy, damnit.

i'm going to new york tomorrow! i can't wait to go shopping, damnit! :-D

sometimes it feels great to cry.

i just realized that when i am in my room, i live off my bed. everything is either on my bed or in arms reach of the bed and i can control everything with some kind of remote or plug that is right next to my bed. hahahaha i love it.
i don't think i'm going to school tomorrow. i don't feel good. i am exhausted. im going to the doctors tomorrow.

i'm so utterly stressed out. why the fuck won't my eye stop twitching.

so much fucking fun. that is what my day as been...ive been through so much and it all has been wonderful. fuck yeah man.