Shellie darling. Nobody hates you for the way that you feel. HONESTLY. The people that "talk shit" are just being caring and telling you what they know from observation.. or more than likely experience. I TOTALLY understand what you're feeling. I went through it babe. I don't blame you for how you feel but just EXPECT that things won't work out so that way.. if they don't.. you're not AS surprised and hurt. and if they DO work out.. it makes it feel even better. The people that call you dumb for this kind of thing.. act like they don't know what it's like to be in love. And if they have been in love with Josh before.. and BELIEVE ME. many have and are. they need to stop calling you dumb and remember what it was like for them. There's a lot of love AND pain that comes with being with Josh.. or loving Josh.. I knew that all along as do you but you're willing to go through it cause that's how much you love him.. same with me.. same with Jenny... I could probably name dozens of girls that are willing.. All I'm saying is. I know how you
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finally someone gets it. im willing to take a chance because i do love him. i mean. id rather regret something i did, then something i didnt do. ya know? but honestly at times i do think people hate me, or find me pathetic. im just so sick of it. why is it so wrong to feel. yes i may get hurt, but theres a chance in getting hurt in every relationship. and people talk shit about me. try to tell josh that im not good enough, or that im a bad person, or that im trying to get with his "friends" or whatever. hello. im not like that. i wouldnt hurt him for the world. ive seen it rip a part my brother and the girl he loves. and even if it happens to me, im still not going to do it to anyone. i still need love and support, not ridicule and criticism. anyway. honestly. i feel like i should just shut people out and deal with everything by myself, not tell anyone about relationships, or experiences, or what im going through. it always ends up biting me in that ass anyway. oh. by the way. i love how you called me darling. lol. makes me smile. and
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I totally get it. People constantly told me "you shouldn't get with Josh he's just going to hurt you" and so on and so forth. And I did end up getting hurt.. but it wasn't because HE himself hurt me. It's because someone decided to spread a rumor about me.. that I got with one of his friends.... and he decided to believe it and break up with me. I tried SO HARD to convince him that what people said wasn't true. I NEVER would have hurt him. I truly did love him and will always have a place for him in my heart cause he was my first love.. I can totally relate to you. And everything you're feeling. But it's not best for you to go through it alone because then if something bad happens who will you be left with? No one.. we should definetely hang out sometime. And you can talk to me about this. I'll understand. And won't criticize you. I'll be there for you. I know Jenny is going through the same thing and I feel awful for the both of you. Josh is just confused about what he wants in life/love/relationships.. everything. I don't regret
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first of all? sticking through all the bullshit? what do you think im doing. secondly, didnt i tell you that it WASNT a good idea to go over there? i believe i did. thirdly, i am inlove with josh, whether you want to believe it or not. and hello? i didnt even make a move on josh. he was the one that made a move on me, to begin with. ive known him longer than YOU even have. ive been friends with him for a while. and i believe the one who does all the "getting down the pants" bit, in bakersfield, is you. or so ive heard from MANY people. territorial? i dont think so. if ANYONE hangs up on me, for the sheer hell of it, im going to be pissed. when he said you wanted to talk to me, i said "okay." fine. it wasnt even a big deal, but you decided to be bitchy and hang up, which was uncalled for. i havent "fucked you over", as you say. i dont even KNOW you really. and im sorry. i know that you care for josh a lot, thats completely understandable. but you CANNOT expect me to filter my feelings around josh. especially when YOU knew we were
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Okay, yeah I'm a slut when im a virgin thats koo. Um and uh "FYI" yeah I'm aware he was putting the moves on you but uh, theres something called self control. And I just want to say that Josh is'nt in love with you he told me to tell you not to like him a couple weeks ago. But yeah, haha your in love with him, whatever, i can't wait till you get your heart broken you are going to feel like such a dumb-ass, it's gonna be great.
oh you mean josh, who just on the phone a few seconds ago told me that he loved me. josh that just told me on the phone a few seconds ago to beat your ass. oh THAT josh eh? umm. if i get my heartbroken. fine. its called moving on. something you obviously havent done.
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anyways, I'm out.
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