my mom, for being such a disappointment. there's so much you don't know about me. we'd be closer if i told you all of it, but i'm so ashamed of myself sometimes, i can't bring myself to say it ( Read more... )

i had plans. i meant it when i said all i wanted for my birthday was to spend time with him. i had even come up with a christmas present for him that would take care of that. and he wouldnt even have to pay. i wanted to kiss him at midnight on new years eve. and now none of thats going to happen. i'll probably see him on my birthday but it won't be ( Read more... )

i've never been so sad. i feel empty. and my heart is literally broken. i can't breathe right anymore. i'm so desperate. it's pathetic. i hate begging. and i only did it because i thought it would work. it's hard for me to tell people how i feel, especially when it comes to him. but i took a chance. and it didn't work. i feel so stupid. i just wish ( Read more... )

i feel so pathetic. i hate when people think i'm overreacting. but i don't really know what i'm supposed to do with myself. and it makes it so much harder when i feel like nobody's there. the one person i wish i could talk to and cry to, who would make it all better... well that's just irony at it's best. i knew this day would come, but i'm ( Read more... )

i'm in my astronomy lab!
it's gay!
i want to go home.
and i might get to!

soo i never write on this anymore but i'm pretty annoyed/pissed off right now. ive been sad and stressed out lately cause i didn't know what i wanted to do with my life. and i finally figure it out. and i can see my life coming together in the future the way i've always imagined it. and im actually excited about my future now. and it's like nobody ( Read more... )

i'm trying. but it's not that easy. and i hate keeping secrets.

i need some alcohol.

i lied last weekend when I said that it gets easier to be away. cause it doesnt. cause i miss rj a lot. i hate being hours away. buuut so far i see him every two weeks. i'll take what i can get ( Read more... )

i'm dumb.