ok i don't write in here anymore because its really fucking stupid now...but let me just add to my journal--for archives sake, that it's so weird and refreshing to be in a relationship again. It fits differently, I'm getting used to it, but all I know is that somehow it feels better. Its so weird that having a relationship makes everything better ( Read more... )

so I did it. I told him.

So sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy. I feel like I can’t be fixed. I remember his face. When I forget it is the worst. I look to my right in my car, my brothers truck that has since become my own, our own, and I long for him, smiling at me, holding my hand, giggling away. It was so long ago, really. I wonder if there comes a point when the ( Read more... )

why am i so stupid???? hahaha seriously, got any answers???

I think I've had it. Seriously, with barely a shadow of any doubt, I think I've had it. I've dried up. It's all gone. Everythings gone. And now I'm empty. And maybe that's how it's supposed to be. The moment when I've been molded and handled so many times that alls left is a ball of indecipherable mess, and I'm now the one who's supposed to ( Read more... )

so let's add some icing to the cake that represents my disaster of a life shall we ( Read more... )

Today I saw a group of 4 sitting out in their front yard. They were males. And they were sitting in a blue plastic pool. It was one of those flimsy plastic pools that as kids we used to fill up with the backyard hose. Well these guys were sitting in this pool, barely fitting and laughing hysterically at how funny they must appear to onlookers. ( Read more... )

CCRRRAAAZZZYYYY ( Read more... )

Everybody. Is. SO. Self-serving. So consumed by themselves. So infatuated by every thought of them being satisfied, or rewarded, or pleased. It's pretty much sickening, disheartening, disappointing, malicious, unappreciated, obvious, maddening, disturbing, and overdone. I'm tired, I'm restless, but mostly I'm pissed.

Rules: List 10 things you want to say to people on your friends list but know you never will. Don't say who they are ( Read more... )