LJ Idol Season 8, Week 29, Disappear

[imafarmgirl]

I was crumbling. I felt as though the world was closing in around me, like a cardboard box collapsing with me inside. The box wasn’t made of cardboard though, it was heavy stone I was trying to combat. I didn’t want to be alive more moments than I was willing to keep on fighting. My therapist was talking to me on a daily basis and I was taking

Comments

[lilmizmombassa]

This is honest and wonderfully written. You are a beautiful person and I am so glad that you are still here. You are stronger than you think, and you have much to offer this world. Happy belated birthday; I hope this year is easier than last for you. Hugs.

[imafarmgirl]

Such kind words. Thank you so much. I am hoping for a good year.

[imafarmgirl]

Yes, it is. It took me months to find my way out of that place.

[basric]

I think your strength is more than evident to everyone but you. Wonderfully done.

[imafarmgirl]

Thanks. I think that must be true, because I don't feel strong.

[jem0000000]

*hugs*

[imafarmgirl]

Thank you.

[whipchick]

You make such a good point that it's OK to need to be taken care of, and to have help limiting one's options and focusing on the good. I like how this essay is your personal experience, but your points are universal.

[imafarmgirl]

Yes, admitting you need to be taken care of is hard. When you sign yourself into a mental hospital you commit to three days and that you'll give notice when you want out and it will be discussed and they can go to court to keep you there. It's a scarey thing. I've done it twice now and stayed a week both times. It's hard to give of yourself like that, giving up some of your rights, and begging for the help you desperately need. The crazy thing is that you could be anyone.