so it turns out that i'm not coping with a certain situation as well as I thought it was. it's hard for me to express just how hurt and shitty I felt when I found out the truth/lie, all the lies. I liked him and he made me feel worse then pretty much anyone has ever made me feel for reasons I can only conjecture in my mind cause who knows when he, ( Read more... )

this has been one of the busiest years of my life. truly ( Read more... )

i'm sick of feeling sick. my head hurts so bad like pressure. I wish it would just go ahead and explode already. it's making me feel ill and sad.

living is difficult. I don't want to do it anymore. and I can't sleep. i'm about ready to go stick my head in the oven.

I wish I had a male perspective on my situation, and by situation, i don't mean my "situation" I mean my situation.

and it turned into a therapy session. sometimes I am too honest and forthcoming with information. bad habit.

things are feeling thin ( Read more... )

I want to become irresponsible, call in sick to work 3 out 5 days, forget to call my dad and check on him, skip out on babysitting, forget to pay my bills and rent... take up drugs. i'm thinking either coke or meth, not so much heroin. and a little alcoholism... and I want to become a slut, a new guy every night. maybe a whore, that way I can pay ( Read more... )

the two-four weekend, it was fun and yet i'm left with a bad feeling and I want to sleep my life away ( Read more... )

so, open heart surgery last tuesday and now they might want to cut him open again to put in a pace maker. it never ends. He asked me and my sister to sneak him out of the hospital. If I thought I could take care of him I would but I've only really ever been good at taking care of myself ( Read more... )

he's going to have surgery tomorrow. he's scared. i'm scared. but i'm sure it will be fine...