Here there be apps
Name: Vlad Masters (aka Plasmius)
Age: In his 40s
Canon: Danny Phantom
Job: Camp Football Coach
Canon:
Danny Fenton’s parents are obsessed with ghosts - so obsessed that they try to build a bridge between our world and the Ghost Zone. Unfortunately, when trying to get the portal working Danny accidentally becomes fused with a ghost and gains ghostly super powers as a result. It works for him, but not everyone would take the gift of being able to turn invisible and walk through walls and use it for good. Take Vlad Masters, who, since his unfortunate ghost-related accident years before at the hands of Danny's father, has somehow managed to become fabulously wealthy and politically influential. Nothing suspicious about that at all.
Vlad Masters is your typical evil genius villain. You know the kind; full of witty insults, evil schemes and has an ego far larger than he needs. There are only three things he’s ever been denied in life: his love for Danny's mother, his revenge on Danny's father and the Green Bay Packers (all of which he is obsessed with). Unfortunately he isn't quite charismatic enough to be a threat to his love interest's marriage, he tends to blurt out plans for vengeance before he executes them and Green Bay just won't sell him the team. Still, he has enough skill to become mayor and he's a snappy dresser.
Sample Post:
That’s it, that’s it, stop the practice! That was terrible, horrible, absolutely wretched. Have any of you even seen a football before? You are, without a doubt, the least athletic team I have ever been a part of; and that includes my time on the debate team in college. Save the pathetic excuses, being half dead shouldn’t stop you from anything. I know plenty of completely dead people who have much more going on than all of you. And they don’t give me a word of complaint about being told what to do.
How am I supposed to keep a decent cover when you can’t even put up the hint of a good game? I’m not asking for a winning season, but people are going to question a coach who can’t keep his team physically together long enough to get through a quarter. Oh, don't look so shocked. Do you really think I went to the trouble to have myself hired at the world's one and only trans-dimensional summer camp just to play babysitter to a bunch of mindless zombies?
You should also know that being a coach wasn't my first choice when I applied here, but out of all the jobs they had open, this one fit my many talents best without being too time consuming. I would have much preferred to be a team manager, or even better, an owner. But sometimes we have to take a hit or two in order to get what we want. That's a lesson you all might want to pick up on as well. For now I'm happy to play the lesser role of a coach so long as I get some valuable free time. And it allows me to scout potential talent for the Packers from a pool of the best and strongest who obviously aren't represented here while I'm at it. Win win.
To that end, it's obvious the drills we've been running aren't making any difference in your play, so huddle up. At this point I've made it clear that I'm serious about getting a half decent game out of you lot. I've never been good at inspirational speeches, and I'm not going to subject you to an attempt. But just because I'm not one for inspiration, doesn't mean I'm not good at motivation. Your motivation is to get up and play like a team, because if you don't I'm going to reduce you to a fine mist of greenish-gray vapor. Are we clear? Good. Now we'll start your training by getting a new jug of Gatorade, you need all the help you can get. And don't you dare try to pour it over me. I may be your coach but I won't stand for something so undignified. Did you hear what I just said?
Oh, butter biscuits!
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