Big things are due this week and early next week, so early, I have to do them this week. Will I get them done?
I would really like a nap.
Today I weighed exactly the same as I weighed the first time I used wii fit in aug 2008. Agh.

Going to see U2 and the Airborne Toxic Event. I don't actually have the time or money to do either of these things. I'm doing U2 for 15 year old. I don't really care for big arena shows anymore. I'm doing ATE for me. At a live show, I can feel alive. A part of the world, a piece of the music, forgetting what is pressing down on me and being ( Read more... )

Everything is okay at work. We were short one, but it wasn't too busy. The guy who gets on my nerves and says insulting things like he's kidding--I pissed him off so much today he started showing that he really means those things. It was good. I like him better like that.
Pasta with pesto for supper

I'm going with arrogance because it irritates me. I like confidence ( Read more... )

We took a couple of trips. Summer school was good. I was shockingly lazy. All the walking on the trip did me a lot of good. So did the music ( Read more... )

I am so afraid of what I might lose that I am shutting down. I hardly interact with anyone, including the people I love the most. Maybe it is because H is really leaving this time. He's been gone for two years, but it wasn't that far and he was home every month. This time is much farther and I doubt I will see him except for holidays ( Read more... )

He has decided to go to DC. I looked in the mirror and it was as though I had aged 10 years in those seconds.

It was exactly what I didn't want it to be. But it doesn't matter. It's just odd that it came up with the exact number that I said would be bad ( Read more... )

Waiting has become a lifestyle for me. I barely exist in the now. I am waiting for some other time. Some other person.
Can I bring myself back? What will happen if I don't? Will I just read and sleep the weeks away? Only connecting with the outside world for 25 hours on the weekend?
I find it harder and harder to be interested in reality.

Everything seems the same. I'm having a hard time caring. Is it the waiting pushing me into stasis? I cannot summon the energy required to put any effort into making a list of what needs to be done. I think I might forget something important in the next few days. Like a final. Or a credit card payment. Because I don't really care what day it