Wow...I am actually feeling normal today. I heard one of Michael's favorite songs on the radio earlier, and had to pull off the road to cry, but I also laughed through it, because it was like he did that on purpose. I feel bad, because I was remiss in saying I have no friends, because I have wonderful friends online (Love you Pam and Dar), I just ( Read more... )

One week ago yesterday, I lost the best friend I've ever had. Michael Lynn Underwood. I've read a lot about the seven stages of grief, and I thought I'd do some reading tonight on how they apply to me. I'd never read anything so true to form in my life. I am definitely going through all seven stages ( Read more... )

Well, I said goodbye to my best friend yesterday. Today is a beautiful, but windy, day. It wasn't quite real to me until I saw his precious body lying in the casket yesterday. I said goodbye to him at the funeral, but I didn't mean it. I said goodbye to him lastnight after the wake, but I didn't mean it. I won't ever say goodbye to him, ( Read more... )

Can someone please tell me how the HELL I'm supposed to carry on with my life? I sit at work, and no one seems to realize my heart is broken, and being buried with Michael tomorrow. I go home, and it's the same. I hear how WELL I'm handling things, when I'm a mess on the inside. I keep thinking about tomorrow. I don't think I'll be able to ( Read more... )

It's been three days since my best friend (indigogypsy) passed away. I feel so ... I don't know, beaten down and broken. The music is gone, and I don't think it will ever come back. That was our "thing" the music. I haven't been able to sing a note since I found out. I don't even think I want it back. I'm empty now, and nothing is consolation ( Read more... )