1. Homosexuality is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning ( Read more... )

I look tired, no? (Look here) There's a reason for that. I've worked 94 hours in the last 8 days. As it stands right now, I've been working two jobs at one time. I'm working my regular job, which entails answering the phone, taking orders, helping customers, taking payments, posting payments, daily cash drawer stuff, daily fuel inventory for ( Read more... )

Ground Rules: The first player of this "game" starts with the topic "5 Guilty Pleasures" and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their 5 Guilty Pleasures as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 5 people to be tagged and list their names ( Read more... )

I really think I hate christmas. I try not to, and whether I do or not, I don't let my kids know that. I remember being a kid and being totally enchanted with Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now, they're just like any other day. I'm tenatively planning to spend at least part of Christmas day at the cemetery, I want to have a little birthday party ( Read more... )

Seems as though these entries are getting stretched really far between. I guess I'm doing better, but in all honesty, it's because I was frustrated with my grief and even starting to bore MYSELF. The pain is more of a dull ache, now, instead of the sharp agony. I FINALLY went to the cemetery. I just sat there for over an hour. Pouring my heart ( Read more... )

Wow, I can't believe it's been this long since I've written. Things have been so busy lately. With Pam away, I'm taking over a lot of PG's administrative stuff, and I'm feeling very capable right now. I miss her, but I thank her, because I'm feeling useful and it's a good boost for my self esteem. I've moved into a new house, which is exciting ( Read more... )

Here it is, yet another Wednesday. I still don't want to go sing. I went a couple weeks ago, stayed about an hour or so, sang one, and just didn't feel it. The only time I DO feel it is when I'm alone. Why is that, I wonder? I think I'm doing ok most of the time, but then there are times when something will hit me and I feel it all over again ( Read more... )

Aaaaahhhhh....blessed acceptance. I fought it. I HATE it. But it's set in. I've been ok, for the most part, because I've been busy. For the first time in three weeks, though, I'm starting to think I might actually be ok. I dreamed about Michael thursday night. I don't remember anything other than the setting, and that he said Hi and I hugged ( Read more... )

I have never felt so alone as I do now. I keep hoping someone will call me, ask if I wanna go somewhere or something, but it's never gonna happen, and I don't know HOW to reach out to anyone else. I keep picking up the phone to call and am afraid to. I hang up. I can't get over this feeling of isolation. I'm cut off from the world. Michael ( Read more... )

Every now and then ( Read more... )