First off I'm drunk. but I wanted to write this down, not that I would ever forget it but still ( Read more... )

So I deleted my myspace. I deleted his number. how can I get rid of the pain? I still care about him. I want to know that he'll be ok. I think that's why I wanted him to call, why I wanted him to fight back, defend himself, so that I would know he will be alright. But now I won't know. is it weird that I feel like this ( Read more... )

I think I realized today how much I love to cook. not just to feed other people but to feed me, mind and spirit. I love the process of making a new dish, I love being able to reproduce something from memory which is what this egg drop soup is going to be. So maybe I should learn to cook properly? I have the feeling that while it would enhance my ( Read more... )

Today is beautiful. there is no other way to describe it. hardly a cloud in the sky. Nothing to worry about. I'm almost on my way to mass, then when I get back we are going to go for a walk, then I will come back and cook dinner. it's going to be a great evening. I feel strangely content. I only want to remember this moment. knowing that the ( Read more... )

amazing what seven hours can do for perspective. I wouldn't trade being here right now for anything. It's amazing how much of myself I'm finding here in my Abuelita. Things that I didn't even know I had/did are there, thanks to her. Amazing woman. She's stubborn like me. She won't let go of something unless you really distract her. She was ( Read more... )

I'm worried. About my grandmother, my recital, my friends, my future. Everything really. I'm begining to think she shouldn't have made this trip, at least so soon after being in the hospital. I'm worried I might lose her sooner than I expect. or that I might not be able to help her if she needs me. My recital is worrying me, a lot. I'm worried ( Read more... )

I think I've finished my proposal. I don't think it sounds very good, but at least it's on paper. So I'm thinking about adding another level of difficulty too the recital. Using it to raise money for a local charity. like a women's shelter or a halfway house. It needs to be local. It just seems silly to me to do an entire half of a recital ( Read more... )

well I can only remember this one part of my dream. We were in Mass. There were two priests celebrating. They got to the part of the consecration where the body and blood are raised and we sing the great amen. Only there was a little girl who wouldn't stand up. wouldn't recognize that this was the center, she had her back to the altar and was ( Read more... )

ok so. in my dream I was the mother, my sister was my daughter, I had a son and a husband. I knew I was being chased again or that someone was coming. These people had bothered me before I had hidden myself here and settled down. They came and told me I had to go with them, there were two men and a women, the ringleader looked like the villan ( Read more... )

I just came back from an incredible concert. so why am I sad. I feel like all of a sudden I made the wrong choice in coming here. but then I wouldn't have learned half the things I have. I hate not believing that I can do any of this.