It comes to me now that the one thing I've been consistantly passionate about my whole life is trying to be understood.

Which is pretty feeble.

I've been browsing through my old DeadJournal entries, as I've sadly been known to do, only this time I've had an actual honest-to-God reason for doing so, that being trying to find any record of my past attempts at weightloss. I know they're in there somewhere, disguised from public - viewing with an eyeball icon denoting invisibility, hidden ( Read more... )

In the 1990s Edward Woodward stole my bed.

He died earlier today.

Let that be a lesson to all of you. Do not FUCK with me.

And never

EVER

steal my bed.

It's weird to think that I've probably socialised - and by socialising I of course mean 'socialising online' - more tonight than I have at any point in the last, what four years? Four years, maybe.

It's not like I've said - or typed, rather - a lot, but then, I didn't need to in order to pass my usual conversational standard. Inept as always I've ( Read more... )

Lindsay and I were discussing names for our imaginary Jersey bakery. She vetoed Creamy Puffs and Daniel's Sticky Buns, but approved of Mickey Blue Pies. Personally I prefer Wantin' Tarts.

At nearly thirty-one I fear it is too late to be drowned at birth

Nonetheless . . .

It's a sobering fact knowing people would be more impressed with an
illustration of a chicken on a barstool with the slogan "Jimi Hen
Drinks" than anything I'll ever say or do.

As a post script, I should say that my gran's new television comes with a 190 page manual that is only available on CD-ROM. My gran has no way to view it. Luckily she had us to set up and calibrate the television, but most lonely old people, for whom the television is their only companion, and who would be forced to buy a new set in the event that ( Read more... )

When I was a kid we didn't watch movies. We didn't have a VCR (VHS or Betmax), we didn't have movie channels, and we rarely sat down together to watch movies. Television, yes, but movies? Maybe on the odd occasion where BBC One would have a family movie season, with cut John Candy and Steve Martin films starting at seven. We had early bedtimes, my ( Read more... )

I've always believed the 'blue sky on Mars' line was a dead giveaway ( Read more... )