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incog_identity

(Untitled)

Jan 27, 2010 09:00

I'm not doing well. I'm sorry to those I've hurt. I want to be better. If I need to help somebody I will. my body is on fire and I wake up with an idea and check facebook and don't know what to do and forget about it and then my head swells and I can't remember anything. my head hurts and my parents want me to take risperidone for schizophrenic

Comments 5

lifeofsomekind January 31 2010, 03:00:17 UTC

have you gone to see a doctor? or talk to anyone?

incog_identity January 31 2010, 04:14:32 UTC

I have gone to a psychiatrist, and I have talked to some people, online and in person. the psychiatrist has sort of gotten frustrated and kicked me out, more or less. I tried one of the risperidone things two days ago, but not yesterday. I have talked to some friends and such, and even people I haven't spoken to for years, but its either difficult or I'm difficult, or something.

lifeofsomekind January 31 2010, 15:32:35 UTC

this might be off the wall. do you listen to music? do you watch tv?

and i hope i dont scare you when i ask if you believe in God?

i find it hard to believe that you are difficult. calling you difficult makes you like a puzzle or something. you are a human. and you are awesome. and this world is crazy. and the things in it are crazy. and everyones mad. parents should know what is best, but in reality they mostly just stick with wanting what is best (and not really knowing). they are taught by doctors and society that medicating is the answer ( ... )

lifeofsomekind January 31 2010, 15:34:22 UTC

talking about no music and no tv can get deeper than just that. just get back to me.

incog_identity February 1 2010, 23:20:21 UTC

I haven't watched much tv, and for a while no music was cutting it, but I listen to some now. I'm not taking the medicine, and don't want to. I think I know exactly what you mean about going back and forth on God, and I used to do the same thing, especially in Salisbury, but, I don't know how much I do that anymore, or can even remember how to do that anymore. whatever I was doing has somewhat left my body in a way. I'm not considering suicide. The truth is hard... I go back and forth on a lot of things, a lot of the day, and sometimes, the best will come out, and other times, what comes out is draining, for me or others. I do believe in God. The thoughts I have during the day are sometimes really difficult to communicate, or I can, but they seem crazy, or something.

I wrote this earlier and left it up, then went for a drive, and now am feeling rather blah.