we lit a candle and drank to you last night. I told them all about you as we sat on the floor drinking wine out of pom tea glasses...our stories and moments, and your idiosyncrasies that help me remember you. Its strange to think that its been a year since youve been gone, though to me it seems much more recent. I prayed for your family, and you. I ( Read more... )

contentedly watching the sunset from our window.

I enjoy being little spoon.

its a terribly helpless feeling to see some of your best friends getting hurt when they have so much good advice to give everyone but themselves.  I love meaghan for her chilidish resilience and her irrational passion, even if it comes off as immaturity sometimes...but shes one of those people who fights for what she wants and I have so much ( Read more... )

I believe I have developped an intrinsic ability for self-sabotage.  It's almost down to a science, one that I will leave unexplored at the moment. Suffice it to say that a part of me in certain aspects of my life does not want me to get what I consciously and outwardly believe will make me happy. And I've come to consider that this little ( Read more... )

I am contentedly blank.

Its choosing to push things aside and not confront them. its not facing consequences of my actions. its being surfacely happy but not choosing to go any deeper. its acceptance. its knowing that I see more sad things about life than happy at the moment and being alright with that, because I know i'll see it the other way ( Read more... )

endless tempests of the mind ( Read more... )

..........what?

just.....what?

really?

a few days overdue. im pretty sure that i can no longer predict anything. because what you never expect to happen may happen even if you kinda expected it for years in a non expecting it would actually ever happen way. that made perfect sense.  I'm awful. I don't feel as awful as I should? How many times am I ( Read more... )

Tonight I feel very alive.

vivid dreams*

This must be the low point.  dear livejournal, today I was stung by 5 hornets consecutively down the entire right side of my body ending very attractively on the ass.  I then proceeded to swell to the size of God knows what because thankfully He didnt give me an arial view of what was going on back there. I have now taken two anti-histamines which ( Read more... )

ive never been so incredibly sad

i need to stop taking the mo-ped out to that place, its not helping me let go