60 minutes is an awfully long time.

Dec 26, 2007 22:11

So I was suckered by swtjemz into joining her 1 hour porn writing challenge thing. It was hard. :|

Needless to say, mine has no porn and no plot. :D!

Fic By Others That Actually Include Porn. And Plot.
-Here is tinyangl's.
- Here is jackoweskla's.
- Here is spurious'.
- Here is anamuan's.
- Here is swtjemz's.


title: Excessive Use Of Violence
notes: Beware of loss of brain cells. :\ Here are the pictures, by the way, so you can see how my non-porn did them no justice: Yamapi being hot and Jin being hot. Here is where the KAT-TUN pictures from that same shoot are. Scroll down to see the others in the comments. Yeah. Also! Here is where Ueda basically flips off the cameraman.

“Ew, Yamapi,” Jin says, wrinkling his nose and shaking his head. “Wasn’t that really cold?” He snorts at the terribly tacky rain (that he obviously would have pulled off much better) as he and Yamapi flip through the pictures of NEWS’ latest concert, making sounds of approval or disapproval. Ryo looks at the pair of them incredulously.

“Are you two women or something,” he says and it’s not even a question anymore, especially not when Yamapi and Jin both blush, and try to (unsuccessfully) hide the stack of new magazines behind their back as well. “I can’t believe you guys do this every month, and at a sleepover, no less,” Ryo continues, sighing deeply. “And here I was, finally thinking I was able to associate with you guys in public again.”

Jin considers flipping him off. Then he decides he does value his life after all, and settles for shoving a picture of Ueda at Ryo, whereupon Ryo makes a noise of disgust, and then growls when he realizes it’s the shoot where Ueda is basically flipping off the cameraman. Before he can properly maim Jin, Yamapi breaks in. “So,” Yamapi says loudly, turning to Jin, “before we were rudely interrupted,” here he glances at Ryo, who shrugs and takes a sip of Yamapi’s coffee by accident, grimacing as the bitter liquid washes over his tongue. Yamapi smirks and mutters something that sounds awfully like “getting what he deserves,” and Ryo scowls and kicks Yamapi under the table.

As Yamapi nurses his hurt shin, Jin flips open the January issue of Josei Seven (minus one corner where Ueda had been torn out and consequently shoved at Ryo) and clears his throat loudly just as Yamapi raises his hand for a retaliatory smack and Ryo curls in his seat in defense. “Let’s look at my photo shoots now!” He smiles winningly, and slowly, Yamapi lowers his hand and Ryo uncurls.

“You’re such an attention whore,” Ryo mutters, though not meanly, and Yamapi nudges Jin’s shoulder affectionately, pulling at the crinkled white shirt that Jin had brought back from America.

Ryo leans over the table for a closer look when Jin not-so-subtly turns to one of his better (in his own, not-demented-at-all, opinion) shoots, and promptly bursts out in laughter at the sight.

“What,” Jin says, wounded, lower lip already stuck in a pout.

Ryo, who can barely stop laughing, chokes out, “Nakamaru has the best picture here,” and then starts laughing again. Yamapi joins in after a second of watching Ryo clutch at his stomach and bang at the table in turns, snickering all the while.

“He’s right,” Yamapi agrees after a fit of the giggles.

“Of course I’m right,” Ryo first has to say, just to be contrary, and then continues, pointing viciously at each member’s picture in turn. “Kamenashi makes better faces at pieces of fried chicken than at the camera, Princess looks like someone photoshopped his body on, Taguchi looks like a drag queen, seriously, just look at him, and Tanaka needs to stop pulling his fake gangster act, it’s getting old.”

Ryo pauses, takes a breath. “Nakamaru, on the other, actually looks normal; which though normally is a bad thing, makes him look quite attractive among you freaks.”

Yamapi, who can’t resist an opening when it’s thrown at him, croons, “Aw, does Ryo-chan have a little bit of a crush on Nakamaru-kun?” At Ryo’s threatening snarl, Yamapi smiles condescendingly. “Don’t worry, Ryo-chan, I won’t tell!”

Their possibly violent exchange is interrupted by Jin tapping his fingers anxiously against the tabletop. “What about me?” He asks worriedly, voice rising at least two octaves.

Ryo takes one look at Jin’s shirtless picture and before he even makes a sound, before his mouth has even curled into its customary smirk, Yamapi is already giggling and Jin already pouting. When Ryo does open his mouth, he says, “Jin, have you, by any chance, gained even more weight? Also,” he continues, while Jin narrows his eyes at him threateningly, “you really should join Kamenashi and Ueda on their weekly spa trips. I’ve heard waxes can do wonders for you.”

There is almost deadly silence, punctured only by Yamapi’s very poorly contained laughter as Jin looks murderously at Ryo’s ever growing smirk.

The next morning, Yamapi gets a letter of complaint from his neighbor about the noise level in his apartment, citing many shrieks, bangs and

It's er. Not finished. :|

1 hour challenge, fic

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