You said something that really struck a chord in me: "Sometimes I depend on too many negatives just to feel original." It is the hardest thing to admit, but I think I've relied on the same thing. I don't know why we do it. Why do we do it?
i think part of it is societal. every conversation is a contests of complaints. (aside from the brief, "how are you?" "i'm fine," exchanges.) Everyone has to one-up the other person's drama. test it out, try putting a positive spin on something and see how shocked the other person reacts. like, for example, i have a very badly broken wrist right now (but, yes, somehow i can still type), with an "external fixater" on it (see metal rod screwed into my arm), and when people ask about it, if i say something positive like, it doesn't hurt too bad and at least it'll be off in time for culinary school, they are absolutely astonished. try it, i'm telling you. plus there's the added benefit that it makes you look on the bright side, too. :)
that's insane. i've never thought of it that way before. about the pressures that we are all under to make everything be "okay", when really, the most exciting times of life, the times when we feel most alive are those times that truly test who we are.
thanks for opening up my head to a new perspective.
It's easy to see the potential in others, but very difficult to see the potential within yourself. I think a lot of artists feel this way--I know I do. And so the best you can do is continue doing what you were doing--just take little steps little steps little steps, until you eventually regain your footing. Sometimes I think dreams aren't so easily seen, because we go about looking at the clouds and the skies and the stars, while all the while we forget to see what's right in front of us. And usually, that is when we will see what we are looking for. Important things are always the last place in which you look
( ... )
If it makes you feel better to try to deal with other people's problems, then try to find a way to do it. I can connect to that so well...
I think I've felt some of what you're describing before, not that it makes what you're feeling any less original. I think that even when people have the same kinds of feelings or problems, we're still probably original because we think about things in different ways and we have different life experiences to apply to our thoughts.
If you think it would help you, then maybe it's a good idea. Another way to look for people to help with problems is to comment in communities where people ask for advice. I've done that quite a bit. Sometimes it just makes me fee like I have a purpose.
Its true that people can deal with other people's problems moreso than their own. It's just the way it is, because it's objective with others.
It sounds like there is so much pent up within you and it all needs to be released in some massive explosion. I don't know why you consider yourself a fraud, or what it is that you're hiding, but I feel the same in some respect so can relate to what you're saying.
And dude, I'm in quarter life crisis at the moment. I *totally* miss being responsible free. So again, know how you're feeling.
I consider myself a fraud, quite simply, because I'm fake. I'm a liar. There is nothing honest about me. This is me at my most honest, and it's a bunch of words to people who only appear as words back to me.
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:)
thanks
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Like, I only feel creative and original when mentally, I'm so fucking depressed that it is unreal.
This is not healthy, to depend on feeling this bad just to do something to make you feel alive.
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thanks for opening up my head to a new perspective.
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I think I've felt some of what you're describing before, not that it makes what you're feeling any less original. I think that even when people have the same kinds of feelings or problems, we're still probably original because we think about things in different ways and we have different life experiences to apply to our thoughts.
I hope you feel better.
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I don't know, it's kinda out there, but maybe someday I'll give it a shot.
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sometimes real life is enough for the time being. haha.
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It sounds like there is so much pent up within you and it all needs to be released in some massive explosion. I don't know why you consider yourself a fraud, or what it is that you're hiding, but I feel the same in some respect so can relate to what you're saying.
And dude, I'm in quarter life crisis at the moment. I *totally* miss being responsible free. So again, know how you're feeling.
You have a poetic way with words.
Take care.
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Thanks for the thoughts :)
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