Just want to die. Can't handle not knowing what I want. I hate it. Need to cry a ton but can't. Don't love me and don't know if I do mike. Was at group today and my counselor told me to quit playing games. Really pissed me off cause I wasn't. She wanted me to contract and I didn't know if I could so she thought I was playing games. Want to ( Read more... )

Do not feel suicidal anymore. Went to an outing with Taylor for soccer and went for a walk with Mike. Felt really good to go for a walk. Was beautiful out. Hope that I can continue to do this when I feel stressed out.

Have depression group in an hour, don't want to go. Very tired and still want to OD. I wish these feelings of wanting to OD would go away. I hate them. I hate feeling like this. I want to be normal again. Today is the last day of school for the kids. Stress. It will be so stressful. I don't want it to end. I don't know if I will be able ( Read more... )

I am taking about 20 pills a day and it is not doing a thing other than keeping me from being manic. What a waste. I hate this and I hate this life. My depression is sinking fast and I don't like it. I don't want to end up in that state hospital again. I want to quit taking my meds and not have all the poisons in my body. I should not need ( Read more... )

Am feeling real confused lately. So tired and no energy. I don't know what to do. I can't even go to tthe store anymore cause I am terrified. I hate it. I hate the fact that I am in the dark about the act team and what they are planning. How long do I have for a hospitalization before they put me in a state hospital. Are they ever going to ( Read more... )

Sometimes I get so sick of life. I get so sick of everything in it. I am so stressed from the suicide last night and just want to crawl in a hole and be left alone for awhile. Everything is stressing me out so much. It seems like every little problem on the board is just making it so hard to post right now. I can't handle living with this ( Read more... )

I am such a bad person. God, how can you love me. I am so sorry that I cut again. Please forgive me ( Read more... )

I talked to Elizabeth for a long time tonight. Julie is real and I don't care what anyone says. I have felt it ever since this started and I know for sure. I love her and no one is going to take that away from me. No one. I know what happened to her, that put her in the hospital. I am so stupid. Why did I not tell her to tell someone when ( Read more... )