I had another pregnancy and subsequent pregnancy loss. Absolutely devastating and fucking ridiculous. Two embryos left. Honestly I'm kinda done... the shots, bloodwork, appointments, and dashed hopes. But i can't just ditch those two last embryos, so I'll probably try one more time in a couple months for their sake. Otherwise I'm ready to start ( Read more... )

Been a while. Did another attempt at ivf. Got a reeeally good batch of eggs, which resulted in six good-quality embryos in cryopreservation. Tried with 2 embryos last month.. . And nothing. Doctors are baffled.

I still have 4 more and I'm going to try again in January.

I have a beautiful home, TJ and i are more in love than ever, I'm climbing the ( Read more... )

So many people in this country are obsessed with anti-abortion above all other social issues, yet you'd think they'd work to make adoption more culturally accepted, rewarded, and more accessible for prospective adopting parents....

Currently the State of NJ is only accepting applications from prospective adoptive parents who are able to adopt kids ( Read more... )

I feel blank. I'm not sad, but I'm not happy. I have nothing to look forward to, no real goals... but im also kinda cool w just being calm for once. God bless Zoloft.

My house is awesome and I'm making power moves at work, so that's pretty cool. I got a rad haircut. TJ and I are doing really well and our relationship is wonderful, happy, and zero ( Read more... )

Didn't work. All the money, medication, injections, hormones, surgery, pain, and hope.... for literally nothing

So, uh, things ended up better than i thought.

Not jinxing it. Still trying to brace for potential disappointment, but mostly staying neutral.

The egg retrieval surgery went really well. No pain or nausea. Just groggy and some cramps.

They got 6 eggs, which isn't a lot but more than they thought they'd get.

I got a call from the lab this morning. The eggs weren't quite mature enough. None have fertilized yet. There's one that MIGHT fertilize. All this bullshit for nothing.

I'm trying really ( Read more... )

The pregnancy i lost back in September, would've been born today.

And today, I'm having egg retrieval surgery and they're going to fertilize the eggs this afternoon.

Isn't life bizarre

I love my new house. That is all :)

Whew, i couldn't remember my password for like a month.

Anyway. TJ and I are closing on our house in less than 2 weeks! I can't wait.

Also, I'm going back on meds for my anxiety. Even though things are relatively calm, it feels like my brain is stuck in FIGHT OR FLIGHT mode and its been really bad lately. Yesterday i felt like i was having a heart ( Read more... )