mind and heart-
a series of fractures
befores and afters

(cross posted to the bird app)

i miss the way the internet made me feel.
things to say that fit nowhere.
meaningless but not to me.
the blur between the lines.
a lift that never comes.
time to run?

/cross posted to the bird app

always stuck between

wanting you to know i care, wanting to know you now, what you like, what you're thinking, how you are--

and wondering if you care
to know me now
(i know you care about me but otherwise?)

i'm here
but should i be?

i can stay away
i can think of you and care for you
(i do)
and stay away
so much time and space between us already, so what's ( Read more... )

I may not be forever
but I am my forever.

Life's weird, dude.

I'm sitting on a couch on a short film shoot.

why the hell am i sad?

I wish I could just cry and get it over with.

Knowing why would be nice, too.

Because it doesn't matter, right?

It never did.

So, why?

thankfully you have my best interests at heart. thankfully you make me think things will be okay. thankfully you think of how to help not only you but me.

so incredibly lucky to have you for a best friend.

hopefully you're not wrong.

i trust you're not.

Hello, dormant journal.

It is 2018. I am so ready for this new year. It feels different. I want it to feel different. Is it. Is it?

I think it will be okay, you know.

Actually.

Just maybe.

But honestly, I am all right.

I mean it.

"You've ruined it for me. No man is going to be as nice to me as you."