Uncontrollable; Minho/Key
To fall in love...
"The use of the term 'fall' implies that the process is in some way inevitable, uncontrollable, risky, irreversible..."
▶
They are at a red light when Kibum is pulled out of his thoughts upon noticing that Minho has taken a hand off the steering wheel. He can tell that Minho wants to hold his hand but he isn’t going to allow that to happen. Before Minho can reach over to his side, Kibum stops him by finally ending the silence and speaking for the first time since he entered the car.
“Nothing good happens when you come to my place.” Kibum says and sneaks a peek at Minho after.
True enough, Minho gives up any intention to cross that invisible barrier Kibum has set up and brings his hand back onto the steering wheel.
“You don’t mean that, Kibum.” Minho sighs to himself, hurt that Kibum thinks that way.
With his eyes on the car driving in front of them, Kibum mumbles, “You know it’s true…”
“Please don’t say that.” Minho frowns, turning to look at Kibum, “It makes it seem like the months we spent together meant nothing… I know it wasn’t easy but we were happy, Kibum. You can’t deny that.”
Kibum bites his bottom lip, left with nothing to say because he knows Minho is right.
The traffic light changes to green, Minho sighs and continues driving while Kibum turns away, looking out of the window as he remembers the times they spent together that made him feel it was okay to be selfish.
Wanna catch a movie together? I’m on my way to CGV.
“Kibum! Shall we head to Octagon for drinks?”
Kibum looks up from his phone and finds his closest friends, what he calls the 91line, a few steps ahead of him and waiting for an answer. They’ve just finished dinner at Kibum’s favourite restaurant and are deciding where to go next, not knowing that the star of the night is about to throw cold water on their suggestion.
“Sorry guys! Thanks for tonight but I gotta be somewhere else now...” Kibum smiles apologetically, truly sorry that he has to end their little party right there.
His friends look disappointed but they’re an understanding bunch so none of them make a fuss over Kibum ditching them. Smiling, they say their goodbyes as Kibum hugs them one by one and thanks them for celebrating his birthday with him.
He has enjoyed his birthday thus far but Kibum knows it’s only going to get better when he sends a reply to the message he has received earlier.
Be there in half an hour!
Feeling both nervous and excited, Kibum separates from the group and quickly flags down a taxi to bring him to the movie theatre.
I’ll get us tickets then.
With no traffic on the roads, Kibum arrives ten minutes earlier. Minho is already there when he reaches though. It’s close to 11pm by then and the movie theatre is rather empty, save for the staff and a handful of moviegoers. As such, they spot each other easily even from a distance. Kibum has to stop himself from smiling when he walks towards Minho who already has the tickets in hand.
“What time’s the movie?” Kibum asks first because it actually doesn’t matter what movie they’re watching. He just wants to know how much time he has with Minho.
“Now, actually.” Minho smiles as he takes Kibum’s hand and leads him towards the cinema.
They have just finished getting their tickets checked when Minho lets Kibum’s hand go and passes him one ticket before he places his hand on the small of Kibum’s back.
“Hey, why don’t you go in first? I’ve to go to the washroom.” Minho informs as he urges Kibum forward, “See you inside alright?”
Kibum nods, thinking nothing of it, and finds his way into the cinema. There’s no one inside the theatre when he walks in. The cinema is dimly lit and an advertisement is being played on the screen. Kibum finally takes a good look at the ticket to find their seats and realises that Minho has selected a couple seat in the last row for them.
Kibum can’t help but smile to himself as he settles into their seat and waits for Minho to join him. To keep himself occupied for the time being, he checks his phone and begins replying the birthday wishes he has received on social media.
Kibum is scrolling through his Instagram feed when he hears footsteps approaching. He naturally looks up, ready to smile at Minho, but the smile doesn’t form on his lips. His mouth opens instead just as his breath catches upon the sight of Minho coming to him with a small box. From where he is sitting, Kibum can’t exactly see what’s inside the box but the glimpse of a lit candle is enough for Kibum to figure that Minho is carrying a cake.
Kibum can’t take his eyes off Minho as he finally comes to sit next to him and presents him with the small cake. It’s just a simple slice of red velvet cake but Kibum is completely moved. Inside, he’s laughing at himself for being such an idiot when he has to hold back his tears and not cry in public.
“Sorry it isn’t much but happy birthday, Kibum.” Minho says with a nervous smile, “Make a wish.”
Kibum grins at how cute Minho looks relieved that his little surprise is a success.
Placing his hands over Minho’s, Kibum brings the box closer to him and closes his eyes. He makes a wish, reopens his eyes and blows out the candle.
“Thank you…” Kibum says as he leans forward and presses a quick kiss on Minho’s cheek, “And don’t be sorry. I couldn’t ask for more.”
Before Kibum can move back, Minho quickly closes the distance and steals a kiss from Kibum’s lips.
“You can always ask for more, silly.” Minho mutters, leaning his forehead against Kibum’s, “I’ll give you all that I can give.”
“This is enough.” Kibum smiles, playfully nudging Minho gently with his forehead, “Just like this.”
Kibum notices the regret in Minho’s eyes. He knows Minho is sorry that there’s a limit to what he can do for him but Kibum wants him to know it really doesn’t matter one bit. After all, with what Minho has done for him so far, he’s in no position to complain. At this moment, Kibum can pretend Minho belongs to him and that alone is enough to make him happy.
Just being with Minho makes Kibum happy.
Kibum thinks it’s ridiculous, how less than four hours ago he was in Seoul and now, he is in Tokyo. It’s absurd, almost stupid, but that doesn’t mean he regrets his decision to take urgent leave from work and leave Seoul on the next available flight. Even if he can turn back time and think about it rationally, he’ll still do the same.
It is not until he’s standing outside Minho’s hotel room in Tokyo that Kibum realises missing someone can actually make you do crazy things. He hasn’t seen Minho for almost two weeks and that’s enough for him to throw everything aside just to join his lover in a foreign country. A few days back, Minho had told him about his business trip to Tokyo. Kibum had not realised what that could mean then since he had been too busy sulking over the fact that Minho was going to be even further away from him. It was only when he woke up this morning that Kibum had the crazy idea to use this opportunity to the fullest.
In a few text messages, he manages to get hold of the details of Minho’s business trip. In fact, it’s almost too easy for Kibum to get the information out of Minho. Kibum suspects Minho had already guessed his plans then. That alone motivates Kibum even more because maybe, just maybe, Minho wants to see him just as bad too.
With that thought in mind, Kibum rings the doorbell and waits for Minho to let him in. It doesn’t take long for the door to open and Kibum to walk straight into Minho’s arms in the next moment.
“You wouldn’t believe how much I missed you…” Kibum says as he hugs Minho tight.
Unsurprised by Kibum’s appearance, Minho laughs as he circles his arms around his waist, “I think I can understand.”
Without letting Kibum go, Minho kicks the door shut and brings Kibum further into the room. He turns them around and traps Kibum against the wall.
“I only have fifteen minutes before I have to leave for a meeting though…” Minho informs as he peppers Kibum’s skin with kisses until he reaches the corner of Kibum’s lips and stops, moving back a little so he can look into Kibum’s eyes when he says, “But I’ll be all yours tonight, I promise.”
“Not just tonight,” Kibum replies while he pulls Minho back towards him for their lips to finally meet in a soft kiss, “The next two days as well.”
Minho hums, “Now if we’re done talking, maybe you could use the remaining time I have with you now to kiss me properly?”
Although he’s rolling his eyes, Kibum lets out a chuckle and gladly fulfils Minho’s request.
He’s only four hours into his trip to Tokyo but Kibum decides it’s going to be one getaway he will never forget.
It’s rare for Kibum to have Minho in his room on a Friday night, so rare that he can’t even bear to spend a minute longer in the bathroom. Honestly, he just wants to get out of the shower as soon as possible so he can join Minho back in bed. Kibum does want to smell as good as Minho who has taken a bath before him though so he doesn’t rush the process even in his haste. After making sure he’s all freshened up, smelling good enough to eat thanks to his Shea Butter & Honey body wash, Kibum leaves the bathroom. He has only taken two steps out into his room when he stops walking any further.
“You sure you’ll be fine taking the train tomorrow? I know traffic’s bad on a weekend but at least it’ll be a more comfortable journey back.”
Quickly hiding behind the door of the bathroom, Kibum doesn’t need to hear the other end of the call to know who Minho is on the line with.
“Alright, give me a call when you’re back in Seoul then, I’ll pick you guys up from the station... Oh, hi baby girl. Did you have fun today?” Minho chuckles and it’s then Kibum realises he’s talking to his daughter too, “Really? Ask umma to bring some back for me then. Oh, thanks honey. Alright, you should get her to bed. Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow. Night, sweetie. Love you too.”
The call ends but Kibum counts to twenty before he walks back into the room. Minho looks up and once their eyes meet, Kibum is sure Minho knows he has heard the phone call.
Not knowing what to do, Kibum sits down on the edge of his bed with his back facing Minho.
Everything happens for a reason. Kibum believes it’s the heavens’ way of reminding him that his happiness is only borrowed, that he doesn’t deserve to feel this happy. It’s not right, getting involved with a married man, Kibum knows, but he always tries not to think about it. You can say he’s in denial, it’s the truth anyway. Kibum rather play ignorant than spend time with Minho reminding himself that what he’s doing is wrong and feeling guilty as hell the entire time. He knows he’s not the only one feeling this way, Minho is too. Kibum can tell in the way Minho sometimes seems so far away when they’re together. He’ll get lost in his thoughts, his heart somewhere else... where his family is.
They’re both making a mistake but Kibum feels it’s his fault for confessing and for ultimately not staying away. He should put a stop to this, he knows he has to but he can’t. This is the happiest he has ever been and right now, he can’t let go. He’s greedy for more.
So caught up in his thoughts, Kibum doesn’t know his hands are gripping the edge of his bed so tightly until he feels Minho’s hands on his, gently loosening his grip. Kibum jumps a little, startled by Minho’s sudden touch, but soon relaxes as Minho then presses a kiss on his shoulder.
“Minho...” Kibum sinks his teeth into his bottom lip as he tries to stop himself from crying.
“Shhh,” Minho hugs Kibum from behind and pulls him down with him onto the bed, “Let’s just enjoy tonight alright?”
Kibum doesn’t have the will to spoil their night and so he nods, lying closer to Minho and closing his eyes, wishing time would just stop right now.
For when morning comes, Kibum knows things won’t be the same anymore.
▐▐
(Irreversible)
"The use of the term 'fall' implies that the process is in some way inevitable, uncontrollable, risky, irreversible..."
▶
They are at a red light when Kibum is pulled out of his thoughts upon noticing that Minho has taken a hand off the steering wheel. He can tell that Minho wants to hold his hand but he isn’t going to allow that to happen. Before Minho can reach over to his side, Kibum stops him by finally ending the silence and speaking for the first time since he entered the car.
“Nothing good happens when you come to my place.” Kibum says and sneaks a peek at Minho after.
True enough, Minho gives up any intention to cross that invisible barrier Kibum has set up and brings his hand back onto the steering wheel.
“You don’t mean that, Kibum.” Minho sighs to himself, hurt that Kibum thinks that way.
With his eyes on the car driving in front of them, Kibum mumbles, “You know it’s true…”
“Please don’t say that.” Minho frowns, turning to look at Kibum, “It makes it seem like the months we spent together meant nothing… I know it wasn’t easy but we were happy, Kibum. You can’t deny that.”
Kibum bites his bottom lip, left with nothing to say because he knows Minho is right.
The traffic light changes to green, Minho sighs and continues driving while Kibum turns away, looking out of the window as he remembers the times they spent together that made him feel it was okay to be selfish.
Wanna catch a movie together? I’m on my way to CGV.
“Kibum! Shall we head to Octagon for drinks?”
Kibum looks up from his phone and finds his closest friends, what he calls the 91line, a few steps ahead of him and waiting for an answer. They’ve just finished dinner at Kibum’s favourite restaurant and are deciding where to go next, not knowing that the star of the night is about to throw cold water on their suggestion.
“Sorry guys! Thanks for tonight but I gotta be somewhere else now...” Kibum smiles apologetically, truly sorry that he has to end their little party right there.
His friends look disappointed but they’re an understanding bunch so none of them make a fuss over Kibum ditching them. Smiling, they say their goodbyes as Kibum hugs them one by one and thanks them for celebrating his birthday with him.
He has enjoyed his birthday thus far but Kibum knows it’s only going to get better when he sends a reply to the message he has received earlier.
Be there in half an hour!
Feeling both nervous and excited, Kibum separates from the group and quickly flags down a taxi to bring him to the movie theatre.
I’ll get us tickets then.
With no traffic on the roads, Kibum arrives ten minutes earlier. Minho is already there when he reaches though. It’s close to 11pm by then and the movie theatre is rather empty, save for the staff and a handful of moviegoers. As such, they spot each other easily even from a distance. Kibum has to stop himself from smiling when he walks towards Minho who already has the tickets in hand.
“What time’s the movie?” Kibum asks first because it actually doesn’t matter what movie they’re watching. He just wants to know how much time he has with Minho.
“Now, actually.” Minho smiles as he takes Kibum’s hand and leads him towards the cinema.
They have just finished getting their tickets checked when Minho lets Kibum’s hand go and passes him one ticket before he places his hand on the small of Kibum’s back.
“Hey, why don’t you go in first? I’ve to go to the washroom.” Minho informs as he urges Kibum forward, “See you inside alright?”
Kibum nods, thinking nothing of it, and finds his way into the cinema. There’s no one inside the theatre when he walks in. The cinema is dimly lit and an advertisement is being played on the screen. Kibum finally takes a good look at the ticket to find their seats and realises that Minho has selected a couple seat in the last row for them.
Kibum can’t help but smile to himself as he settles into their seat and waits for Minho to join him. To keep himself occupied for the time being, he checks his phone and begins replying the birthday wishes he has received on social media.
Kibum is scrolling through his Instagram feed when he hears footsteps approaching. He naturally looks up, ready to smile at Minho, but the smile doesn’t form on his lips. His mouth opens instead just as his breath catches upon the sight of Minho coming to him with a small box. From where he is sitting, Kibum can’t exactly see what’s inside the box but the glimpse of a lit candle is enough for Kibum to figure that Minho is carrying a cake.
Kibum can’t take his eyes off Minho as he finally comes to sit next to him and presents him with the small cake. It’s just a simple slice of red velvet cake but Kibum is completely moved. Inside, he’s laughing at himself for being such an idiot when he has to hold back his tears and not cry in public.
“Sorry it isn’t much but happy birthday, Kibum.” Minho says with a nervous smile, “Make a wish.”
Kibum grins at how cute Minho looks relieved that his little surprise is a success.
Placing his hands over Minho’s, Kibum brings the box closer to him and closes his eyes. He makes a wish, reopens his eyes and blows out the candle.
“Thank you…” Kibum says as he leans forward and presses a quick kiss on Minho’s cheek, “And don’t be sorry. I couldn’t ask for more.”
Before Kibum can move back, Minho quickly closes the distance and steals a kiss from Kibum’s lips.
“You can always ask for more, silly.” Minho mutters, leaning his forehead against Kibum’s, “I’ll give you all that I can give.”
“This is enough.” Kibum smiles, playfully nudging Minho gently with his forehead, “Just like this.”
Kibum notices the regret in Minho’s eyes. He knows Minho is sorry that there’s a limit to what he can do for him but Kibum wants him to know it really doesn’t matter one bit. After all, with what Minho has done for him so far, he’s in no position to complain. At this moment, Kibum can pretend Minho belongs to him and that alone is enough to make him happy.
Just being with Minho makes Kibum happy.
Kibum thinks it’s ridiculous, how less than four hours ago he was in Seoul and now, he is in Tokyo. It’s absurd, almost stupid, but that doesn’t mean he regrets his decision to take urgent leave from work and leave Seoul on the next available flight. Even if he can turn back time and think about it rationally, he’ll still do the same.
It is not until he’s standing outside Minho’s hotel room in Tokyo that Kibum realises missing someone can actually make you do crazy things. He hasn’t seen Minho for almost two weeks and that’s enough for him to throw everything aside just to join his lover in a foreign country. A few days back, Minho had told him about his business trip to Tokyo. Kibum had not realised what that could mean then since he had been too busy sulking over the fact that Minho was going to be even further away from him. It was only when he woke up this morning that Kibum had the crazy idea to use this opportunity to the fullest.
In a few text messages, he manages to get hold of the details of Minho’s business trip. In fact, it’s almost too easy for Kibum to get the information out of Minho. Kibum suspects Minho had already guessed his plans then. That alone motivates Kibum even more because maybe, just maybe, Minho wants to see him just as bad too.
With that thought in mind, Kibum rings the doorbell and waits for Minho to let him in. It doesn’t take long for the door to open and Kibum to walk straight into Minho’s arms in the next moment.
“You wouldn’t believe how much I missed you…” Kibum says as he hugs Minho tight.
Unsurprised by Kibum’s appearance, Minho laughs as he circles his arms around his waist, “I think I can understand.”
Without letting Kibum go, Minho kicks the door shut and brings Kibum further into the room. He turns them around and traps Kibum against the wall.
“I only have fifteen minutes before I have to leave for a meeting though…” Minho informs as he peppers Kibum’s skin with kisses until he reaches the corner of Kibum’s lips and stops, moving back a little so he can look into Kibum’s eyes when he says, “But I’ll be all yours tonight, I promise.”
“Not just tonight,” Kibum replies while he pulls Minho back towards him for their lips to finally meet in a soft kiss, “The next two days as well.”
Minho hums, “Now if we’re done talking, maybe you could use the remaining time I have with you now to kiss me properly?”
Although he’s rolling his eyes, Kibum lets out a chuckle and gladly fulfils Minho’s request.
He’s only four hours into his trip to Tokyo but Kibum decides it’s going to be one getaway he will never forget.
It’s rare for Kibum to have Minho in his room on a Friday night, so rare that he can’t even bear to spend a minute longer in the bathroom. Honestly, he just wants to get out of the shower as soon as possible so he can join Minho back in bed. Kibum does want to smell as good as Minho who has taken a bath before him though so he doesn’t rush the process even in his haste. After making sure he’s all freshened up, smelling good enough to eat thanks to his Shea Butter & Honey body wash, Kibum leaves the bathroom. He has only taken two steps out into his room when he stops walking any further.
“You sure you’ll be fine taking the train tomorrow? I know traffic’s bad on a weekend but at least it’ll be a more comfortable journey back.”
Quickly hiding behind the door of the bathroom, Kibum doesn’t need to hear the other end of the call to know who Minho is on the line with.
“Alright, give me a call when you’re back in Seoul then, I’ll pick you guys up from the station... Oh, hi baby girl. Did you have fun today?” Minho chuckles and it’s then Kibum realises he’s talking to his daughter too, “Really? Ask umma to bring some back for me then. Oh, thanks honey. Alright, you should get her to bed. Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow. Night, sweetie. Love you too.”
The call ends but Kibum counts to twenty before he walks back into the room. Minho looks up and once their eyes meet, Kibum is sure Minho knows he has heard the phone call.
Not knowing what to do, Kibum sits down on the edge of his bed with his back facing Minho.
Everything happens for a reason. Kibum believes it’s the heavens’ way of reminding him that his happiness is only borrowed, that he doesn’t deserve to feel this happy. It’s not right, getting involved with a married man, Kibum knows, but he always tries not to think about it. You can say he’s in denial, it’s the truth anyway. Kibum rather play ignorant than spend time with Minho reminding himself that what he’s doing is wrong and feeling guilty as hell the entire time. He knows he’s not the only one feeling this way, Minho is too. Kibum can tell in the way Minho sometimes seems so far away when they’re together. He’ll get lost in his thoughts, his heart somewhere else... where his family is.
They’re both making a mistake but Kibum feels it’s his fault for confessing and for ultimately not staying away. He should put a stop to this, he knows he has to but he can’t. This is the happiest he has ever been and right now, he can’t let go. He’s greedy for more.
So caught up in his thoughts, Kibum doesn’t know his hands are gripping the edge of his bed so tightly until he feels Minho’s hands on his, gently loosening his grip. Kibum jumps a little, startled by Minho’s sudden touch, but soon relaxes as Minho then presses a kiss on his shoulder.
“Minho...” Kibum sinks his teeth into his bottom lip as he tries to stop himself from crying.
“Shhh,” Minho hugs Kibum from behind and pulls him down with him onto the bed, “Let’s just enjoy tonight alright?”
Kibum doesn’t have the will to spoil their night and so he nods, lying closer to Minho and closing his eyes, wishing time would just stop right now.
For when morning comes, Kibum knows things won’t be the same anymore.
▐▐
(Irreversible)