i guess lateley i've become a little over berring and its hurt people around me. and idk is it really bad when i just want few days to just be with alex and not anyone else ( Read more... )

well here it comes, and i don't mean just school, but bloggers have come out to play because they are stuck at their computers procrastinating doing their homework. as you can tell i'm one of those crazied bloggers ( Read more... )

alex is right i do only update this when i'm really sad or something. its not like anyone reads this anyways besides him. and i don't hold back here anyways. but there has been some stuff bugging me. alex being ultra-quiet is one thing. i mean i'm excited he got his lisense but when hes with me he'll go off into this small world all his own and i ( Read more... )

I don't know what it is right now specifically that is making me cry and feel depressed. I mean maybe it’s the fact I haven't heard from Alex since Tuesday night and that I probably wont here from him till Sunday morning depending on when they get back ( Read more... )

Today i'm happy, i know i don't write many happy entries here, but thats okay right? well i'm was going to write something i thought i had a formulated plan but i guess i didn't becuase it was so easily forgotten. idk maybe i wasn't happy though i'm pretty sure i was but i've forgotten it all ( Read more... )

last night i cried on alex, and i think he was feeling the same way i was after a while. though i feel bad becasue when i feel bad i kind of just jump back into it. Idk thats how i've always been, cry and just jump back into things like nothings wrong. I should probably face some of those things some times, but i feel like when i do i will need ( Read more... )

i sit here and ponder if i should write soemthing or not because i'm not in the depressing crying mood that i normally am when it calls for writing another entry. well okay so i half lied i'm kind of sad because i don't get to have the same spring break as bubu. and he has to wish for it to go faster which i feel bad for him ( Read more... )

so last sunday i got very depressed and i cried and i cut myself. don't think i did this for attention because i was so mentally and physically screwed up that i didn't know what i was doing until i did it. It made me realize everything. that i was ignoring alex, i wasn't actually letting him in all the way like i thought i was, that i was numb for ( Read more... )

ever get the chance to wonder whats going to happen next? well this happens way to often for me and it drives me nuts. i become moody, like bipolar moody. Then i start to think to much and so i come here and i write it out. I just write what i feel hoping someone someday runs by this and just understands ( Read more... )

so i find myself examining my feelings, and its kind of ironic that its ash wednesday and all. but i really don't know how feel. and i don't know why. major projects are over, stress is down to a minimal and i have a wonderful boyfriend ( Read more... )